I’m not a crazy negative person, I’m really not. But I am very pessimistic and an extremely emotional person, minus the tears. When I’m happy, it shows. But when I’m upset, it shows as well. The problem I have now, is that the super-positive or super-optimistic people out there have no idea how to handle people like me. They have a list of sentences and phrases they always pull out when they can’t help themselves to try and pep people up:
- “It’ll get better.”
- “You know, it could be worse.”
- “I don’t understand why you’re so angry.”
That last one is key. Of course they don’t understand why people get so angry, because we don’t live in a world where we see rainbows and light at the end of every tunnel. Unfortunately some of us in life have been exposed to more negative moments than positive ones and while some can just turn them all aside and smile no matter what, others like me take things more to heart and they add up over time. In my case, I get very talkative when I’m pissed off, annoyed or just down. And I don’t sugarcoat anything, which brings me to the thing I hate about the super-positive the most.
When people get optimistic, a lot of the time they end up coming off extremely unrealistic. I see this a lot when I play co-ed league sports, where you probably guessed I’m extremely emotionally involved in. As a pessimist, I’m also a realist so instead of making up crazy events that could happen during a game, or stating that our team is really good (I’m usually on a team that loses 70-90% of our games). However as the realist, I state things based on what I see, the patterns and the actual facts.
For example, my soccer team this season we’re playing in is heavily outmatched, we’re playing in a league that while it says the level is “Recreational”, it’s actually a level higher cause the only teams that sign up this time of year other than my own are the teams that play in the higher leagues and want to stomp on the smaller teams. When I talk during another one of our 9-0 losses, I state that we’re not as skilled, not as conditioned and quite simply not as good. And it’s true, at no point am I telling lies or being over-reactive. But the optimistic view it as such and proceed to break character and start getting upset with me and as the years have gone by I have less and less tolerance for bullshit.
Is it great to be negative all the time? Of course not! And it’s not like I’m going around yelling at everyone, insulting them, threatening them, etc etc etc. I’m usually pretty calm when I’m in my full pessimistic mode. I just wish optimists would take a moment to understand that maybe, just maybe I’m not as high in the clouds as they are. Because I certainly have no problem with them being there and I for the most part fully understand how they are like that.
So why is it so hard for them to understand why pessimists are like that? Oh that’s right, because they believe an heavily outmatched soccer team can make a comeback down 9-0 when we’ve yet to put a shot on goal.