Why I Do My Christmas Shopping Before December

the-mall

This year for the first time, I made sure I did any shopping I needed to do for Christmas before the end of November, especially making use of Black Friday/Cyber Monday deals. Most of it I also did online. Why? Well the following happened to me last Sunday afternoon:

I had dropped off my girlfriend at the train station and was heading back home. I live near a relatively large mall where I am and I decided to head there just to walk into my local EB Games. I had an extra $50 bucks in cash I could use, so I figured I’d go in and see if there was anything worth picking up. I got a parking spot in the back of the lot, which is fine to me, I actually park there more often than not, cause it’s far easier to get out from, rather than dealing with car after car circling the front of the parking lot trying to find that perfect spot. The second I walked inside the mall, total chaos.

Screaming children, ridiculously crowded and one of my biggest pet peeves, people standing in the exact middle of a walkway rather than standing over to the sides. I had a few people bump into me along my walk to the games store, even when I was distinctively moving out of their way, they still found a way to shoulder bump me. When I finally got into the store, it was quite busy, though again I wasn’t surprised, it’s December 13th, a Sunday afternoon at a video games store, not shocking at all that it’s busy. I’m standing in front of the PS4 games checking out what’s on the shelf when I hear this grouchy voice behind me:

“Excuse me?!” a female voice growled behind me. I thought perhaps it was someone who worked there, having a rough day and I was just blocking the path for her to put something away, I don’t know. I’d still be a little pissed off, but a lot more understanding. Instead, I turn around and it’s this grumpy old bitch in a faux-fur coat and pearl-sized ball earrings. She looked like Cruella de Vil in a black coat instead of white. I’m responded with “I’m sorry?” as if to ask if I was doing something wrong. My response wasn’t rude by the way, if anything I sounded more confused. Her response was certainly rude: “Can you move out of my way, I’m trying to find a game for my son.”, no please, no nice tone in her voice at all, just absolutely rude. I could’ve said something bad, but it’s busy in here and I didn’t see anything I liked on the shelf anyways, so I just walked away and left it there, it wasn’t worth bothering after.

So after that I drove across the street to the McDonalds just to grab a couple cheeseburgers and fries as I missed lunch. The drive-thru was packed (as it usually is, since people would rather wait an extra 5-10 minutes instead of getting out of their car), so I went inside instead. A bunch of people were standing in the line so I stood behind them. Then when the next in line was to be, none of them moved, they were all waiting for their food, again standing in the middle and not to the sides or the back. I should’ve taken this as a sign and left but I really wanted some food. I finally placed my order and did what you’re supposed to do, stand over to the side. Two things happened before I got to leave with my food.

The first came when an order was called, a man walked to get it and visually made eye contact with me along the way to the counter (keep this in mind). I’m a good 4-5 steps from the counter, plenty of room. This guy backs up about three of those 4-5 steps and then turns around, smacking right into me, somehow only knocking over a few fries off the tray. And he gets mad at me, claiming I should’ve moved further back to give him room, when I’m already halfway between the counter and the back wall, there was a ton of room not only behind him but to his side. And again, most importantly, he knew I was there, his eyes locked onto me for a moment before picking up his food. So at this point, I’m now a little pissed off with people.

Then the second thing happens. I hear my name called (since they get your name to write on the order) and I saw them put what looked exactly like my order into this bag. So I walk to grab it, when this bitch of a lady suddenly walks in and goes to grab the bag. I say “Hey, I think that’s my order.” I said, as politely as one can after already dealing with two douchebags in the span of 30 minutes. And she cocks a look at me and says “Excuse me? That’s my order!” again like the other two prior, in a very rude tone of voice. The McDonalds employee clarified that it was indeed my order and instead of apologizing, the lady replied “Oh. Well I heard Sarah.” in a grumbly tone of voice. Grabbing my bag, I left her with a few words, as being the third person to piss me off today, she was the lucky one to get something back for her troubles. “Ma’am, I’m sorry you’re having a stressful day, but you don’t need to be taking it out on random people today.” and I started walking off. I’m pretty sure I heard her say “Oh fuck off.” to me, but I was already on my out and hunger supersedes me going on a rant in the middle of a McDonalds, which would’ve been pointless to begin with.

So yeah, that was my experience during peak Christmas shopping hours. I don’t know what possesses people to be this way, I really don’t give a shit how stressed you are. You are the lone reason for the problems you run into. If you are still shopping on the last few days before Christmas, that’s your own fucking fault. You were lazy, or careless, or just assumed that whatever you wanted to get your kids, parents, friends, significant other, etc. was going to be in-stock and ready for you. Because you’re special and deserve the world. I did my shopping in November, because I knew it’d be in stock and if I bought it online, it’d make it home in time. And if something didn’t work, I still had plenty of time to work with. These people on the other hand live in a fantasy world where that specific toy will always be on the shelf waiting for them to make that purchase, no one else.

And most importantly, quit being such a fucking asshole or a bitch to everyone else when things aren’t working out your way. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at the person you’re with if you have to vent to someone. But if you’re on your own, keep it to your fucking self cause no one deserves to feel your wrath because you can’t get that toy for little Jimmy. When you’re in a public place, there is an expectation of you to be polite, to be courtesy and to at least be civil. If you can’t be that, then stay the fuck home. Otherwise, don’t be shocked if you get a little backlash from people and you get put in your place.

So to the three people I specifically had to deal with Sunday afternoon, regardless of the fact they’ll never read this: Fuck you. And be thankful I actually had other things to get to, otherwise I would’ve had no problem putting you in your fucking places.

Oh and a Merry Christmas to you too.

fuckchristmascopy

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