What Should Happen in the 2016 Royal Rumble match?


So this Sunday will be the Royal Rumble. The past two years, WWE has made an absolute farce of the match, both times having to do with Daniel Bryan, the second time also having partially to do with Roman Reigns. So with this year’s Rumble not only being for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, but the match that will truly show us just how Roman Reigns is going to be booked for the rest of his career, I figured I’d answer a bunch of questions I’ve seen asked and I’d like to answer about the match itself.

Question #1: Should Roman Reigns win the Royal Rumble?

Answer: No, absolutely not. This also has nothing to do with me not liking Reigns, this is purely to save him from becoming John Cena 2.0. Personally, if you really want to get the fans behind him again, don’t have him be the last person eliminated, don’t have him even in the final four. Give him the same spot Daniel Bryan got, but y’know what? Let’s do it even better. Have him eliminated right away by entrant #2, Brock Lesnar. That way when they fight next, Roman’s beyond an underdog in the match, Brock took him out of the Rumble before he even got his feet wet.

Question #2: So if Roman’s not winning the Rumble, who should?

Answer: Easy. Brock Lesnar. Ideally, you set up their second match at Wrestlemania 32, a la Tanahashi/Okada at this year’s Wrestle Kingdom. Have Roman come out after the Rumble and admit he got cocky last year, thought he was invincible and would’ve easily won. This year however will be different, he knows he had to work harder and now that he won the championship (twice too already…), he understands the responsibility of being the man. Should he bet Lesnar this Wrestlemania? I say no, but that’s another day of booking.

Question #3: Should Daniel Bryan be in the Rumble?

Answer: If Roman exits early, yes. If he is planned to be at the very end and win it though, not a chance and I’m positive WWE knows this now (if they don’t, they’re fucking idiots). The whole “Is Daniel Bryan Healthy?” situation aside, if he is cleared to compete, he should only be in the match if Roman’s not the focus at the end (which he will be) and if you’re setting up a feud, perhaps with someone like an AJ Styles? Speaking of…

Question #4: Should AJ Styles be in the Rumble?

Answer: Abso-fucking-lutely! I don’t give a fuck about it not being a surprise, you could tell me he’s coming out at #24, I’m still marking the hell out at #24! If you want to make this guy a serious competitor on the roster, debut him in the Rumble and actually have Cole/JBL put him over, none of this “Oh my!” crap either (I’ll get to more of this later). Make Styles look important, he’s such a key player, he deserves to be in the Rumble match even though he’s never wrestled a match in WWE yet (not counting Velocity). And not only that, have the wrestlers look at him as if to say “Ohhh shit…”, because THEY SHOULD KNOW WHO HE IS! He’s one of the best wrestlers in the world currently, who gives a flying fuck that he hasn’t been in WWE, where apparently everywhere else doesn’t exist.

Question #5: Should there be any not-serious surprise entrants in this year’s Rumble?

Answer: Like the Boogeyman? No. I don’t want to see any comedy names like Santino, I don’t want any legends that are too old to be considered a threat like say Scott Hall or Jake Roberts. This Rumble is for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, if anyone’s going to make a surprise debut or return, it needs to be someone who we can consider having some sort of chance to win it.

Question #6: Should any NXT stars be in the Rumble?

Answer: There are a couple I could conceivably accept being in the Rumble. Finn Balor, but only if you’re debuting the Balor Club, which honestly would make zero sense to me. So that leaves one person and that’s Samoa Joe. No one else in NXT right now can be considered a threat in the match, not Apollo Crews, not Baron Corbin, not any other NXT talent. Except one name you wouldn’t expect.

Question #7: Should any female talent be in this year’s Rumble?

Answer: There’s only one name right now that could work in this match and that’s Asuka. There’s zero chance of it happening, let’s be honest, but if there’s any female talent that could do something in the match, it’s the woman who we believe could actually knock a couple guys out. Can you imagine Asuka kicking the shit out of Tyler Breeze, or anyone in the Social Outcasts? That would be an incredible moment! But as far as we know, she may only be an NXT talent during her time here in WWE, so that possibility is extremely unlikely to ever happen, let alone this year’s Rumble.

Question #8: Should Mauro Ranallo be calling his first WWE pay-per-view at the Rumble?

Answer: That is a stupid question, of course he should. Take out Saxton or Lawler, whoever the third would have been, and stick Mauro in there. Yes, he’ll have to somehow mesh with Cole/JBL, but if there’s anyone who could make those two bearable, it’s Mauro. And you know he’d get a surprise entrant like AJ Styles over.

Question #9: Who will be have the most memorable spot in the Rumble?

Answer: I think this year may be the first year we get two unique elimination avoidances. One of course from Kofi Kingston, who may employ the New Day as help with it. The other could be Kallisto, who I think should have that memorable spot. We know they need a Latino star to get going and they’ve been trying to push him as of late (when not having him lose the title the same week he won it), so it makes sense to give him a special moment in the match.

Question #10: Who will get the most eliminations in the Rumble?

Answer: If it’s Reigns, I will cringe. He’ll have already surpassed John Cena in eliminations if he does. It should be Brock Lesnar, let’s be honest, but that all depends on the number he draws. With Reigns at #1, the chances of him getting the most eliminations increases tenfold and with WWE/Vince’s current booking of him, you know they figure if he breaks his won record, the fans (for some strange reason) will get behind him even more.

Question #11: Will the entry order seem fixed against Roman Reigns?

Answer: I imagine so. The League of Nations will all come out closely together and I still have a feeling Triple H will be #30 and possibly win the title. I want them to not do this, but I know they’re going to book the entire Rumble around Roman trying to beat 29 other men. It makes sense, right? The one match where it’s supposed to be every man for himself and it’s become everyone against Roman. Because that’s how you get someone over, you make them beat 29 men in the same night. Yeah, that’ll get the smart crowd to like him, make everyone else on the roster look incompetent.

Question #12: What do you think is going to happen at the Rumble?

Answer: Whatever I don’t want to happen. I’m willing to bet the entire match will be exactly this, except one of three endings. Roman will spend the entire match barely hanging on. The League of Nations will come out in the early, mid 20-s spots all in a row to constantly wear him down after he’s already gassed and somehow Reigns will eliminate them all. Lesnar will be somewhere between #25-27 and will destroy everyone else to the point that it’s just the two of them when #30 comes out: Triple H. Whether Reigns just eliminates Lesnar or not depends on the ending. So here’s the 3 possible endings

  1. Roman somehow beats the odds. *vomits*
  2. Brock Lesnar eliminates him to win (Triple H will not be in the Rumble).
  3. Triple H comes out at #30 or better yet, after Roman perceivably wins the Rumble, there’s a special #31 entrant unbeknownst to everyone and it’s Trips. He beats Roman to win the title.

Either way, we have Roman in the main event at Wrestlemania 32 whether we like it or not. It’s a matter of whether his opponent for the championship is Brock Lesnar, or Triple H.

So there you have it! That’s what I think we’ll be seeing in the Royal Rumble this Sunday? Got any thoughts? Leave ’em in the comments below!

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