WWE FastLane Review

01

So FastLane has come and gone. Did myself, John and Katelyn enjoy the pay-per-view? Did Roman Reigns piss us off once again with yet another major victory and going on to the main event of another WrestleMania that no one will cheer him for? Let’s find out!

Kalisto def. Alberto del Rio to retain the WWE United States Championship

  • Pre-show match, didn’t see it, not surprised by the result though

Sasha Banks & Becky Lynch def. Naomi & Tamina

Adam: Banks/Lynch – 2/5 John: Banks/Lynch – 2/5 | Katelyn: Banks/Lynch – 2/5

  • Nothing of real note in this match, I do not like Tamina or Naomi
  • This was a poor choice of an opening match

Kevin Owens def. Dolph Ziggler to retain the Intercontinental Championship

Adam: Owens – 3/5 John: Owens – 3.25/5 | Katelyn: Owens – 3.25/5

  • WWE Network stream killed the first five minutes on us
  • Kevin Owens yelling at the commentary team will never get boring
  • #SuperkickParty
  • Looks like Owens took a rough bump with that Hurricanrana to the steps, looked like his head whacked against the steps
  • I like how Owens doesn’t do the pop-up powerbomb by throwing him into the ropes all the time now, means it’s not so easily telegraphed

Kane, Big Show & Ryback def. The Wyatt Family

Adam: Wyatts – 1.5/5 John: Wyatts – 1.5/5 | Katelyn: Wyatts – 1.5/5

  • The “Go Aways” vs The “Stop Fucking Them Ups”!
  • Boooooooooooooooooooring!
  • The three of us spent most of this match talking about New Japan honestly
  • So the “No One Cares” beats the one team that needs to be rebuilt?
  • This match…sucked! Liked really bad!

Charlotte def. Brie Bella to retain the WWE Divas Championship

Adam: Charlotte – 2/5 John: Brie Bella – 2.5/5 | Katelyn: Brie Bella – 2.5/5

  • I really don’t want Brie to win this match, but we all kind of think she’ll win and retire as Champion and vacate the belt, but I really want the WM match between her and Sasha (and hopefully Becky) to actually mean more)
  • I don’t like how Charlotte gets pissed off when someone does Ric Flair’s strut. IT’S NOT HER THING! IT’S RIC’S!
  • It’s weird how WWE managed to get some fans to cheer for her just because of Bryan. Didn’t we all used to hate the Bellas?
  • Flair gets caught trying to help Charlotte escape the Yes! Lock and gets turned into a half-Boston Crab but thank god it wasn’t the end
  • I love how Brie made zero effort in escaping the Figure Eight, even though she’s just barely away from the ropes
  • Bye Brie!

AJ Styles def. Chris Jericho

Adam: Styles – 4/5 John: Styles – 4.25/5 | Katelyn: Styles – 4.25/5

  • Katelyn: “Yes, Micheal Cole, it’s the sports entertainment fans that are talking about wanting to see AJ Styles.”
  • Great crowd chant battle between “Y2J!” and “AJ Styles!”
  • Kobashi and Kawada references from JBL
  • Lot of great little spots on the ropes, logical spots
  • Needed a Jericho slap counter for this match, holy shit!
  • Jericho kicked out of the Styles Clash? Well that move’s already not protected anymore
  • But he taps out to the Calf Crusher?
  • STOP CALLING AJ STYLES YOUNG! HE’S NOT A FUCKING NXT ROOKIE!

New Day/Edge & Christian segment

  • Cue the nth time I pray for Cass & Enzo to debut
  • OMG they got Tony Chimel to do the introduction for them! The Rater-R…Soooooooooooooooooooperstar!
  • Lance Storm reference, woot!
  • They’re teasing me…just bring them out! Please!
  • I hate you, WWE. I hate you.
  • Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!!!
  • I’m so upset by this, this is the dumbest possible way to turn the New Day face

Curtis Axel def. R-Truth

Adam: R-Truth – MINUS! FIVE! STARS! John: R-Truth – .25/5 | Katelyn: R-Truth – .25/5

  • JBL commenting on R-Truth’s counting ability, kinda funny
  • Everything else? Meh!
  • And Axel still wins? I’m so confused

Roman Reigns def. Dean Ambrose & Brock Lesnar

Adam: Reigns – 3.75/5 John: Reigns – 3.75/5 | Katelyn: Reigns – 3.75/5

  • We all agree it should be Ambrose but you know it’ll be Big Match Roman against Triple H
  • Big pop for Ambrose, chorus of boos for Reigns, Lesnar always has a positive reaction
  • Suplex #4 looked bad for Ambrose on the floor, looked like the back of the head hit the floor
  • Ambrose just going at Lesnar continues to be so great to watch
  • I’d like to believe that Seth Rollins was there in spirit for that Powerbomb
  • Love how they try to bury Lesnar under the table and Ambrose kicks the table pieces
  • Yes, Roman Reigns the wrestler will overpower a UFC Heavyweight Champion’s submission hold
  • And yes, Roman Reigns wins with a Spear literally after taking a bunch of chair shots
  • Fuck you, WWE

Adam wins!

Overall PPV Rating – 2/5

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