Week #4 – Spring Anime 2016

Week number four is upon us with the Spring anime season. What’s in store this week?!

As always I’m live reacting (though typing it out to be posted later) to each episode I watch and going over what happens in each episode with the occasional quip and joke here and there. So for those trying to avoid spoilers, this entire article is full of them!

And You Thought There is Never a Girl Online
And You Thought There is Never a Girl Online (Ep.3)

So Rusian is talking with Nekohime for the first time since that fateful day. Part of me wants to believe that she’s actually a girl in real life and lied about it to have the easiest way to drop Hideki down. I feel like if she was his teacher, it’d be hilarious. Ako’s still pretty much being herself, to the point Yui (the teacher) pulls him aside and asks him about it, though noting it’s probably good for her, given she doesn’t seem to have many friends at school. At the club now, they share a funny moment where Ako refuses to equip good gear because she wears stuff that’s cute only. She also shows just how useless she actually is in-game. Afterwards they’re alone together talking about more married life stuff and Hideki notes he’s actually starting to get used to being called Rusian in real life. But as the days go on, Ako’s actually getting worse going between reality and in-game. Kyoh notes the club will also be shut down soon if they don’t get an advisor. He sees Nekohime again and asks his/her advice and notes he/she has heard a similar story recently, which only confirms my suspicions that she may actually be Yui. When he tries to talk to Ako, she gets all crazy wife on him. Later in-game she discovers who he’s been talking to and jealousy starts. Then things turn suddenly, missing school to me with a man she knows from the game and is starting to distinguish game from reality, but something’s clearly wrong. They figure out when and where and Hideki still believes it’s none of his business, but Akane gives him shit, asking him if he actually likes Ako in real life as well, which catches him off guard, but admits it and runs off. I WAS RIGHT!!! Nekohime is Yui! Now Hideki’s really messed up in the head, realizing he proposed to his teacher. Ako goes to attack her with a staff and Yui clotheslines her, hilarious. So she becomes the club’s advisor after the incident and has one condition, everyone has to attend school as much as possible, since Ako skips a lot, which she grumbles and accepts. Another entertaining episode this week!

Episode Score: 4.5/5

Anne-Happy (Ep.3) 

So the redhead’s problem is that she constantly runs into stuff…like everyone other second. I’m going to love her. And then white hair just attracts armies of cats. Still a massive smile on my face when the intro plays, it’s not going to stop happening, the animation is too good. They’re to play a fun game of dice, which Botan notes no injuries can happen…which they will. And Anne says no explosions will happen…which somehow they will now. Oh dear the gym turned into an underground lair. Also redhead is named Hibiki and white hair is Ren. Oh dear, it’s a life-sized board game. Ruri wants none of it, so the teacher offers they play Russian Roulette instead. Dafuq?!!! Hibiki claims she’ll win this board game and Run gives her a good smack for her idiocy. They’re split into teams, Anne/Botan/Ruri and they fail miserably from the start. Hibiki’s back for more over-confidence while Ren keeps her in check again, rolling a six for her team with Hibiki…and she goes to wrong way, leaving the arena. The two of them get a chance to automatically win the game…my shouting the name of the person they love. Are they going to lose this challenge, just because Ren doesn’t raise her voice ever? They fail and get dropped through the floor. Botan of course drops the dice their next turn and breaks her feet. Now we await explosions. They have a cosplay challenge which forces Ruri to dress up like a sexy bunny girl, oh dear. Botan’s a squid and Anne gets nothing. The other two get a chance too for cosplay and reveals in her head her affection for Ren, wanting to be in a sexy bunny suit too since Ren loves rabbits. Oh my, Ren looks gorgeous in her white tiger outfit, while Hibiki’s in a giant bear suit. So everyone else finished by this point, the five of them failing miserably, to the point they change the game so it’ll end. So during transport, Ren catches Hibiki princess-style, sending her into blushing surprise, before she gets dropped for being too heavy. I LOL’d pretty hard at that point. They have three events, first the bread race. Anne gets the one piece of bread with wasabi in it. The second is a Lady and the Tramp-style chocolate stick eating game. Ruri’s embarassed about doing this with Anne, while Hibiki’s lovestruck with Ren, but the stick breaks before they touch lips. The final game is a single quiz question. It’s the shout the name of your love again. And when Ruri thinks she has to reveal her secret, but Anne does it for her…and fails cause it wasn’t a person’s name. They finish last. Their prize…extra homework. Suckers! This episode again was hilarious!

Episode Score: 5/5 ***SHOW OF THE WEEK***

Asterisk War: Season 2
Asterisk War: Season 2 (Ep.4)

So what has “awakened” within Ayato? Julis has to take the both of them on while he searches for something. Perhaps he’s figured out a way to counteract his weakened state after his five minute time limit. Too bad, she gets bondage wrapped by a ton of talismans and they start to take her out piece by piece without her able to defend herself. The announcers note this is absolute cruelty by Shenyun. Ayato finally finds what he’s looking for though within himself, a key so to speak that unlocks the chains, perhaps breaking them forever. He finally gets back into the fight, freeing Julis, though notes he only got himself to the second level, not completely breaking the chains. He says he can now go probably an hour, which is more than enough. He uses a technique to sense everything around him and slowly starts destroying the talismans to get to Shenyun, who’s about to get fucked up for nearly stripping Julis with all those attacks. Shenhua tries to sneak on him but loses her badge in the process. After deflecting Shenyun’s biggest attack possible, he finishes the job by knocking the jackass unconscious, rather than destroying his badge. Claudia’s there to say hello, flirting as usual and pissing Julis off…as usual. Kirin and Saya are preparing for their inevitable defeat against the two robotic opponents from Arlequin. They’re approached by the two puppetmasters before the battle, talking a little trash as to be expected. In the battle, they get the one-minute period as well to attack them before they even try once. Kirin actually manages to break the “male” robot’s defenses, the first person to do so. It’s to the point the robot actually breaks its one-minute rule and attacks before it’s up. And now that episode ends as the battle truly begins, Saya also landing a shot. Oh and that fat fuck has clearly caputred Flora during this battle as well.

Episode Score: 4/5

Bakuon!! (Ep.4)

Booooooo, boring school swimsuits! They actually somehow manage to make Rin look less sexy too. The girls plan to take a trip somewhere farther away for the summer break, my money’s on Hokkaido because an all-girl cast, why not go to the place most Western folk know for beaches and hot springs? And Rin brings Hokkaido up immediately, yup I got it! After being really bad girls by going out and eating ramen at midnight, the girls head for the ferry to take them…except they’re late. Raimu jumps onto the ship and Hijiri crashes into the water when her butler tries to do the same. So the three of them left decide to make the long ass ride themselves, calling it their own version of the Cannonball Run. Onsa and Rin leave Hane behind as they’re racing and she’s miserable, tired, sore and whatever else. Along the way, she runs into Bike Jesus (that’s the best I can do) and they travel together momentarily until they get to a gas station, both pretty much out of gas. Then we get some great Photoshop work, I mean some solid Bike Christian artwork. We see Raimu crying through her helmet for a moment before Hane’s back on the road. She then wakes up in Aomori where they need to be, she also got there before Rin and Onsa somehow. Making it to Hokkaido, Hijiri is airlifted to where they are and some Ducati enthusiasts are not happy to see it defiled with a sidecar. Resting for the night, their shower doesn’t work so they plan to go to a hot spring the following morning. Onsa also looks really cute in those shorts she goes to bed in. They also left Raimu behind the whole time but she makes it there and strips and leaps in, but of course the helmet remains, how dare you think she’d be so perverted! Also…Rin’s got a Suzuki brand on her butt from a crazy accident as a kid. And even though she’s in her thirties, Raimu has a teenager’s body somehow too. Only in anime. Another fun episode as usual from this show!

Episode Score: 4.5/5

Big Order
Big Order (Ep.2)

So Rin now has the curse upon her that will keep her from being able to attack Eiji or Sena. She immediately tries anyway and can pick up her sword and swing, but she’ll always stop just before striking him. She breaks down and Eiji actually tries to comfort her and then makes a massive mistake, saying the words “I’ll marry you” and his power activates on this. He tries to adjust it, but it’s too late, Eddie (I’m going to call this demon that cause it looks exactly like the Iron Maiden mascot) already puts it through. Fran, the guy commanding Rin uses his powers which are time control it would seem and captures the both of them. He’s in a cell Hannibal Lecter style when Rin shows up due to the Order on her keeping them from being apart. Though her intentions are all over the place, due to the marriage Order. Parts of her still show up to kill him, but when she’s with him it will constantly change. She takes the ducts to take a ricochet shot at him, figuring she just can’t kill him directly, but that fails too. So keeps trying to put him in danger but only ends up killing herself over and over and having to be revived. Hey, an iron maiden trap! Yay! It appears as well her Revival Order isn’t limited to just herself, raising a ton of dead flowers. It makes it pretty obvious that he will die at some point and she will revive him because she wants to be the one to kill him, no one else. She brings back up their marriage Order and…I think she squeezed on his balls…owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! We get a little more background on Eiji and Sena’s relationship, particularly that they aren’t related by blood. Then things get explained weirdly, so I’ll try to sum it up. He only went to the hospital to get away from the house, but his wish destroyed everything he had planned, saying everyone else messed it all up, that he only had to keep acting as Sena’s brother for six more months and then Sena would be dead. After that, he wouldn’t care what happened to him. So…does he actually love Sena? Does he feel a sense of guilt around her? Like…the fuck is going on here?! Too late to really explain it, as guards find the two of them. He and Fran play a game of chicken with grenades before a man leaps into action with a peace Order, stopping everything…and then a ton of weirdos appear. Huh? This was a test?! The ten of them are the highest ranking officers in the group, Fran is an unknown at this point. Apparently they intended no harm on him at all and intend to bring him into the new world he accidentally created, as a new sort of United Nations took of Japan after the Great Destruction. They also reveal they are on his side and no one else’s, declaring war on the rest of the world and making Eiji their King. They finally reveal they told the rest of the world he was the one to cause the Great Destruction, which could actually mean he never did anything to begin with. So it’s like he’s siding with the villains, but not by choice. Wow this episode has some balls to it with its storytelling so far. This continues to be a very curious show.

Episode Score: 4.5/5

Bungo Stray Dogs
Bungo Stray Dogs (Ep.4)

Atsushi after having nightmares of the battle with Akutagawa, he wakes up and sees Doppo sitting beside him. Someone the incest duo are both alive and okay…WHY THE FUCK IS THE DOCTOR STRIPPING?!!! Doppo’s trying to keep him cool, but it’s clear the Mafia now being all over them because of Atsushi is clearly worrying him to the nth degree. It’s also apparently the idiot can’t see without his glasses on. We see another man from the Mafia appear and brutally killing a man and then commanding his men to kill everyone else there. They’re referred to as the Black Lizard, a spec ops level of goons in the Port Mafia. Just the thought of them frightens Atsushi to no end. So he calls up the blonde woman from last week and tells her he’s quitting the agency and running on his own, clearly trying to save the agency and putting the burden all on his shoulders. She calls for the Black Lizard. Atsushi now leaves the agency, Doppo confused as to what’s going on. We haven’t even seen Osamu yet so you know he’s going to suddenly appear at any point now. More members of the Black Lizard are introduced and get testy with each other, but the old man from earlier clearly is so powerful, they’re even scared of him. Turns out the Black Lizard’s target isn’t Atsushi though, it’s the agency. She wants them eradicated so they can’t interfere even if he truly has distanced himself from them. They barge right in, Osamu on the first floor as we see, while they begin their attack on the fourth. Atsushi continues to walk away from everything before hearing the gunshots, apparently not that far from the building. He fears the worst…except THE AGENCY DEALT WITH EVERYONE EASILY!!! Even the old man. Apparently to Doppo the worst case scenario was him being picked to make all the apologies around the neighboourhood, as this is nowhere near the first raid they’ve been subjected to. Osamu wasn’t even involved in this, it was literally Doppo, the farmer boy, the doctor and some other guy. The agency is scary, man…it makes you wonder who the real threat is when Atsushi held his own against Akutagawa and Osamu has yet to even show what he’s capable of. This is a curious show to say the least.

Episode Score: 4/5

Cerberus (Ep.4) ***ON NOTICE***

Oh hello there Sharisharuu, how are you doing? Taking a bath? That’s cool. Hey, you mind if I invite a giant tentacle monster to the party? That’s great! But before we can see the results, we’re back with Hiiro and company as the young Prince continues to be more and more unlikable as he continues to get more snobby. Saraato doesn’t seem to mind though as she keeps following him anyway. Though finally leaving him alone, Erin appears and it seems the two of them know each other. The two of them go to a healing spring, which looks suspiciously like the one Sharisharuu is in and it is, though she notes she has no interest in other girls. Shame. But Erin still stands out as being drop dead gorgeous. Also, where is the monster I brought her?! Hiiro’s still training with Giruu by the way, being annoyed that he can’t fight the end boss yet before even being able to defeat a slime. Saraato back at the spring almost slips in that she’s hanging around with Hiiro, which of course attracts Sharisharuu’s attention. Also, the tiny girl’s got nice legs, I gotta say! During the training, Hiiro appears to somehow get better, to the point Giruu has to protect himself and accidentally slashes Hiiro, now needing to take him to the healing springs. How coincidental. He admits that he only got that aggressive knowing there was a spring nearby. So while Sharisharuu is ready to strike, Erin is trying to stall her as much as she can. Hearing Hiiro’s voice finally, Sharisharuu sends the tentacle monster SHE STOLE FROM ME on the boys…instead it grabs Saraato instead and then it “tentacles” Sharisharuu and throws her away Team Rocket style. Giruu makes quick work of the monster and Saraato is safe…until Tomitte reminds him the situation they’re in. Back in town, the group is to leave finally and the kids are not happy to see them go, except Tomitte demands they take him with them…and they don’t even fight it, well the other kids do but the main group doesn’t. Why? He’s just a kid, what does Tomitte do for the group? As far as I know, nothing. But Erin’s joining them as well, she offers her sexiness…oh and Nambuuko’s location, so I guess that’s something. And yeah…I’m done with this one too. A lot like Endride, this show looks fantastic has a great design in terms of their characters, but a poor plot and uninteresting main characters is forcing me to drop a show with one of the more prettier girls of the season. I may just be getting more critical this season over the Winter season, or maybe this season truly has a lot more bad than good.

Episode Score: 2.5/5 ***DROPPED***

Flying Witch
Flying Witch (Ep.3)

We start in the desert with who I hope is that white-haired woman in the picture, I want to see what her personality is like. Makoto wants to start learning more horticultural stuff as a witch so she’s gotta do a ton of work in the fields to prepare some farmland for planting vegetables. Then during this, she decides she wants to catch a pheasant for some reason and fails miserably, tiring herself out. So Chito takes a turn and fails too. Hilarious. With the work all done, they gotta wait two weeks for the soil to be good, so that’s the end of this half. So the second half Chinatsu’s gotta get scared by another friend of Makoto, like the Harbinger last episode. Returning home, Mokoto get surprised by the Siamese cat, Kenny…which takes her a minute to realize what’s going on. And there’s the white-haired lady, Makoto’s sister Akane. She’s a very talented witch, currently living as a nomad. So Chito let it slip that Makoto hasn’t used any magic at all since moving out. She’s not upset about it, but tells Makoto that she ought to cast spells once in a while just so her power doesn’t weaken. So she teaches her an easy spell she can learn and practice to keep her skills up, being able to summon a wild crow. So you wonder what Makoto will summon when she messes up. A massive murder of crows show up instead, because she used her own hair, witch hair being far more powerful, as Akane used Chinatsu’s hair for the spell. So then Akane leaves for the time being, teleporting. That was a cute little episode.

Episode Score: 3.5/5

Haifuri (Ep.3)

We see Mashiro’s mother being de-briefed on how if this problem with her daughter’s ship isn’t resolved within the school, the entire program will be classified as a mutiny. Long story short, adults are stupid. The repairs continue on the Harekaze and it’s perfect for the story they can only receive messages but not transmit any. Misaki’s in a whole ‘nother world after the call from Moka. They intercept another message from a safety board telling all ports not to allow them to stop at any port and to sink them if they resist. So their only option is to return to the school. Seems this time a submarine is approaching and they’re all in slightly embarrassing clothes or carrying stuffed animals from waking up in the middle of the night. So of course it attacks them with torpedoes. I forgot about blondie from last week, she gets woken up by two more torpedoes approaching and she’s pissed! So she commands them hard!!! They finally locate the submarine and fire on it. So they’re in further trouble now, attacking another different school’s ships. Finally talking with the German, she says her ship has also mutinied from their own group. The get a school-wide message saying all ships return to port, which means all of them except the Harekaze, not that they know this yet. German girl’s name is ridiculously long, so they’re calling her “Mi”. And Mashiro’s room is the only one with a spare bed, so the jig is up on the stuffed animals. Another decent episode, but I really want some explanation to come in now, three episodes of this unknown crap is starting to get annoying.

Episode Score: 3.5/5

Hundred (Ep.4)

A shower and it’s not Emilia or Claire?! BLASPHEMY–oh…well she’s not too bad. Oh, that’s Sakura. She’s looking for a bodyguard for the next show since the last one was cancelled due to the Savage attack. Gee, I wonder who it could possibly be…? *GASP* COULD IT POSSIBLY BE THE MAIN CHARACTER, HAYATO SO THEY CAN ADD A THIRD GIRL INTO THE HAREM FOR HIS PENIS LOVE?! Speaking of Hayato, he and Emilia, I mean Emile are training with other classmates and he’s starting to control his virus ability better. The tiny girl he was fighting is drop dead gorgeous by the way, I’d put her right up there with Emilia and Claire. Speaking of Claire, she calls up Hayato and tells him the foreshadowed good news, he’s got another girl to be close to! Sakura indeed wants him. He tells Karen the good news and she freaks about it. She freaks out even more when he tells her he pulled strings to get her a ticket. She warns him that her tarot cards tell him to watch out for water (why?) and women (it’s a harem, he has zero control over this one). And speaking of such, Emilia went with him and they totally shared a bed together. But no time, the new girl needs her turn! And she wastes no time, already wanting him to call her by her first name…AND GET MARRIED TO HER?!!! She’s confused why the main character of a harem anime isn’t 100% on board with her hitting on him like this, poor girl…she knows so little. She’s planned this whole marraige thing out, down to every single detail. So he plays along? But it actually works and throws her off her game, not prepared apparently for him to react so well? So she showers again, as if we haven’t gotten enough of her long hair covering her butt. And then she asks him to bring something to her and of course she has to peek out the door, trip and fall over and reveal herself to Hayato. Well…Karen did say women AND water. Her assistant’s name is Souffle. Another poor girl. Uh…why is a pop star essentially wearing nothing for a show…oh…that’s her Hundred outfit before transforming. So she uses her powers on stage. And then Charlotte just happens to show up like a fucking ninja to explain Sakura’s Hundred. Seriously though Sakura, could you have picked a worse colour for your outfit, I get the pink, but the almost skin colour that takes up most of the uniform? Claire calls him up, likely jealous again that he’s on a first name basis with Sakura already and asks him to come to her summer home the next day. He’s back at the hotel or wherever he’s staying and goes into the public bath…and Emilia’s there waiting, but while she’s nervous, she’s not passing up this opportunity. She’s also jealous about the “Sakura” name thing. She demands he stop calling her Emile and now Emilia…and also look at her scar on her chest, doing a terrible job at hiding her boobs and I really hope that steam covered her bottom half, cause I’m pretty sure she was above water there. He asks her to come with him to the islands when he has free time. So BOOB PRESS TO BACK!!! And then she gets mad because he happens to look directly at her boobs (again, I might add after she essentially showed them off) while underwater in the bath that suddenly went from a tub to a pool with how deep it was. We then see a trio of users who kill a Savage and are clearly evil. My bet, they’re all carrying that virus as well. Another interesting episode, clearly not enough showers and baths though. I mean come on, there were only three instances! What is this, PG-13?! Come on!

Episode Score: 4.5/5


Oh Maki did never kill someone. Come on, anime! Stop doing that! Noriko tells them all they just have to survive the summer season together and then the Kiznaivers will be disbanded. Katsuhira is lamenting on what Chidori confessed to him, while we discover he and Hajime are now living under the same roof together. What I hope would happen does happen, they start randomly feeling pain during the day and don’t always know who or why. Also Chidori and Katsuhira live right next to each other, so of course Hajime finds this amazing. Alone for a moment, Chidori tells Katsuhira that the love was past tense and once again he tries to just pass it off so neither of them have the worry about it. They deduce it was Tsuguhito although it turns out it was none of them at all. A number shows up for who gets hurt, so there’s a 7th. My guess, it’s Noriko, but then again we learn real quick it’s this new dude. They do a smarter test by having Nico slightly punch Katsuhira so they feel the least amount of pain and can see if anyone else feels it. They note one person missing from their class, who hasn’t shown up at all, named Yoshiharu. They learn he’s had many short-term hospital stays, everyone having different ideas as to what’s been happening to him. They eventually discover him and he runs off. All the girls are super attracted to him, especially Nico as they’re chasing him. They keep hurting each other to find him. Katsuhira manages to get to him on his own. So to convince him, Katsuhira leaps off a tall height just to show their convictions to him. He’s a bloody mess, but alive. Oh…and Yoshiharu is a masochist, because of course he is. I love this show.

Episode Score: 5/5 


Luluco’s clearly fawning over Nova, but notes his attention is never on her, which makes her sad. Of course when a moment’s about to happen, the alarm goes off. Also Midori is with them now. They now have to destroy a meteorite about to crash into Earth, so I’m now waiting for the Aerosmith to start playing. Seems Midori also likes Nova a bit too. Midori’s transformation is what causes the ship to launch, leaving the two of them, then Nova blasts Luluco off on her own. She gets stuck on the meteor, so she transforms (reluctantly until Nova tells her to come back and makes her feel guilty). Oh and apparently her mother saves her, looking like a villain, a pirate. She was in the meteorite. I stopped trying to ask these questions. She’s hot though! Once again, ridiculous and awesome this week!

Episode Score: 5/5


No show has been able to get off the “On Notice” board so far and this is the last one of the week, how will it fare?

So Ren’s graduated apparently, already a bad start, I hate how this show just jumps through time here. Haru’s also moving out of the apartment finally, the four brothers moving into a home together. Oh dear, you can already imagine how awkward that’s going to get. They finally tell how Ren decided to go back to Japan and apparently the “new rice season” was all it took. Meeting with the landlord, Ren discovers there’s a raccoon dog living under the stairs, which is code for “THIS DOG WILL BE THEIR PET!!!”, because anime isn’t always good at hiding things. Ren notes back at home that Aki and Shima are probably really upset with him now living with them full-time. Haru also sneaks another kiss and gets a kick for it. At the new home, Haru mentions he plans to quit the host job and open a store of his own, what it is, I do not know. Ren is also not enjoying the move much, getting lonely again. Mikiko suggests he get a dog, but Haru knows that means a wolf. Ren also wants to work, but Haru notes that his personality and his lack of ability is going to make things very difficult. He’s also still treating Ren like a child which is really annoying, regardless of his reasons. Seeing the landlord again, he broke his leg and Ren found him lying on the ground. Sure enough, it’s time for him to take the dog, as was obvious. He also is given the keys to the place and asked to clean it up, there’s a job for him. Aki goes to pick up Ren and they have a decent conversation about many things, including how both Aki and Shima are just like Haru, having trouble with women. Turns out the raccoon dog is a Pomeranian. Ah well, not like it matters, the show ends and I’m dropping it as well, the On Notice undefeated streak continues. The show had a fantastic opening and then suffered a thousand cuts. The timeline jumps constantly, all four brothers are annoying in their own way and the story (whatever it is) is all over the place. The fact it’s a boy love anime has nothing to do with it, after all I really enjoyed the first episode. But it brought out all its tricks in the first episode and that was it, it had nothing else in the tank. That sucks, I thought this would’ve been a sleeper hit for me after Week 1.

Episode Score: 2/5 ***DROPPED***

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