I’m 28 years old right now. I’ve really been paying attention to how beautiful girls are since I was 12, so I’ve had 16 years of searching and finding plenty of lovely girls that I’ve spent moments dreaming and thinking about the various “What Ifs” with them. Now while I’d be uncomfortable showing all the girls I like in real life, it’s a whole different story when it comes to girls in fiction, particularly video games and anime.
So with that I had an idea, to do that I needed to come up with a list of any female character from a game or anime. And that list at the start of all this is at 485 and this is right now with me forgetting a few names and many more to be added over time when I consume more media. Holy shit that’s a lot more names than I thought I would’ve come up with! The idea is simple, take the list, put it into a randomizer and pop three names out. Those three girls I ask myself a simple question: Waifu, friend with benefits or one-night stand?
Now hold on, before you get all feminist SJW on me, this has absolutely nothing to do with the “fuckability” of the girls. They’re all beautiful, there’s no need to go into great detail about every single curve of their body, how gropeable their breasts or butts are, this is strictly tailored to their personalities. Because I’m not gonna hide it, every one of these 485 girls I’ve listed at the start of this weekly article, I would absolutely without question have a sexual relationship with if it were possible, for whatever reason. The question I’m asking has to do with if it’s literally just sex (one-night stand), a friendship that may lead to a booty call once in a blue moon (friend with benefits) or a relationship that if such a girl existed, I would absolutely spend the rest of my life with her.
And keep in mind that all these girls are purely fictional, so we’re speaking in hypotheticals here, after all I’m not single and if technology will ever exist that can bring these fictional ladies to life, I will probably not be alive for it.
So with all that out of the way, let’s bring up our contestants this week!
What a great example to start off withm, as I’ll be laying down rules and making decisions on the character before even going into the question with her. Akatsuki is even further beyond a fictional character, she’s an fictional character inside a video game in a fictional world played by a girl behind a computer and virtual reality, given the live inside the game concept of the Log Horizon anime. So taking that in mind, I have to make assumptions on the character for a couple reasons, one being that while I’m aware we do see what she looks like in real life (aka Shizuka Hanekura) and is somewhat similar, I have not actually gotten to that point in Season 2, so I’m having to go off what I’ve seen in the couple of episodes I’ve seen from that season, as well as all of Season 1. I’m also having to use the personality I have seen of her as of the episodes I’ve watched, so any attitude changes in later episodes do not count in this since I haven’t seen them.
So with that all being said, Akatsuki aka Shizuka Hanekura makes this partially easy, considering she looks a bit like her in-game avatar, except her hair appears to be black, rather than a dark purple. I’m actually surprised she hasn’t dyed it to resemble the character, from what I’ve seen of Shizuka’s personality in the game, she’s fully into it to the point that even though it becomes her actual life now, she’s still roleplaying within the game world, while a lot of characters no longer carry that attitude of being a hero, it’s now a game of survival to them, a sense of worry and the unknown. Akatsuki however does not display that much, if at all, she stays very strong and loyal, perhaps a guise to the millions of thoughts running through the back of her head at all times.
When not in her stoic, serious demeanor, she comes off very tomboyish, as displayed through her various dealings with Henrietta, in particular her dislike for being dressed in more girly clothes like dresses and gowns, resulting in her red-faced displeasure every single time. She’s also not particularly fond of physical contact, especially hugs and such, also something Henrietta shows us time and time again. Also, judging by how often she kicks Naotsugu in the face for trying to talking about panties, she’s not too big a fan of people openly talking about perverted subjects.
Because of her personality displayed in-game, it’s very clear to me that she’s one of those players who spends more time in the game than anywhere else and because of that has a real problem being social, at least that’s how I assume it. Like I said earlier, she’s still large in part roleplaying in the game even though it’s become her real life for the time being, perhaps a crutch for her inability to really be able to socialize with everyone. She also shows that a little bit when it’s clearly obvious she either already had or developed feelings for Shiroe during all this, she can’t bring herself to say anything, not even hint at it.
It’s really hard to make a call on her, given all the psychological aspects of her that I have to think about, remember I’m talking about marriage with myself in real life, I have to take into account everything into this, I’m not just going to say she’s my waifu so I can be with her every day and every night, it has to mean I can actually see us getting along for a long time, maybe ’till the day one of us dies. So because of that, I’ve come to the following decision:
♦ FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS ♦
It’s hard to come up with this response after having her at #6 on my Top 10 for anime girls I’d marry, but after really thinking about it and taking all the knowledge I know of her, it’s too risky to make the marriage call on her. I truly do believe she’d be an awesome person to hang around, obviously being gamers we can sympathize and on all accounts she comes off a real cutie. The problem is I think with her solitude kind of personality and her lack of social skills, she’d be really uncomfortable being around someone like me for an extended period of time certainly every single day. But I wouldn’t go as far as to say we’d be a one-time meeting and that’s it, I can’t see it being that bad either. So we end up in the middle here.
While the entire series as a whole really disappointed me towards the end due to their John Cena-like writing with how Asuka manages to win almost every match she’s in, especially against opponents she has no business beating, there was always a shining star in that dark void: Misaki Tobisawa.
Misaki at first glance comes off like she’ll be the sex symbol of the series, which while is not false, as she is sort of designed to be that way given her body type and the amount of times she’s either naked, in a swimsuit, or in her FC suit with her ass pointed towards the camera, she’s much more than that. From Episode 1, you figure she’s going to be the sleepy gimmicked character, one of the misfits of the team but as we see later in the episode, she’s just not a morning person and I can certainly sympathize with that!
For a girl designed to be quite a bit of eye candy as illustrated by how Mashiro is constantly all over her (I believe there’s some lesbian undertones going on there), Misaki’s a tough girl. She has that fighting spirit and wants to take the more aggressive route, as she’s a Fighter-class player in the sport and constantly shows off just how aggressive she can be in battles against Shindou and Saki. Even when she’s clearly outmatched, she goes the route of making sure that even if you’re going to win against her, you’re gonna be sore as hell by the end of the game.
Outside of FC she’s a mixed bag, a few bad things and a few good things about her. She’s the kind of girl that you clearly have to gain her trust on first before really getting to the core of her personality, she’s very nonchalant around Asuka at first until she really they start practicing together on the school FC team. She’s also got a jealous streak about her, regardless of her reasons she clearly does not like the fact that Asuka’s getting all the attention and even the full skills of the toughest opponents out there, while Misaki gets maybe half of that, perhaps a bit more.
But in Misaki’s case, the good definitely outweighs the bad, she shines like a bright star when she’s her happiest. There’s not many characters that I perceive to be as genuinely enjoyable to be around as Misaki. She’s a real sweetheart, a bit of a jokester at times, the little “nyah” she puts at the end of her sentences is adorable to me, I don’t care if people think it’s annoying or stupid. She comes off like your best friend when she’s not in a bad place, she really does. Any time spent in the anime when she’s not frustrated or depressed is a pleasure to watch, she really feels like the type of girl that you can just chill with and talk about whatever for hours on end.
Keeping all these things in mind, the choice isn’t too hard to make, certainly nowhere near as hard as Akatsuki. So with that all said and done, here’s what I’ve decided on Misaki:
♥ WAIFU ♥
It’s not to say that Misaki is perfect by any stretch of the imagination. But the bad personality traits she has are not exactly as damning as Akatsuki’s were. Sure she might be nonchalant around me at first, but giving it time that won’t be a thing anymore. And I’m not exactly the cheating type, nor do I get myself into situations where she could be led to think that, so the whole jealousy part of her is a rare occurrence at best. So when it comes to Misaki, I’m really taking all the good parts about her. Like I said, she’s a best friend type of girl in my eyes, she’s got that adorable voice to add onto things and her athletic career definitely would be an added bonus, I would love to have someone around me at all times to keep my own health in check, I’m the type of person who doesn’t like being shown up, so if she’s doing well athletically, it would force me to push myself to be better and given my current shape, I could use an extra push. But yeah, real sweetheart and I see no reason to believe things could work out between us if such a person existed.
I’m actually not that big a fan of Final Fantasy VII as a whole, I don’t even have it in my Top 5 Final Fantasy games of all-time. However I can’t deny the plethora of beautiful female party members you have at your disposal in Tifa, Yuffie and of course, the aforementioned Aerith Gainsborough.
However when it comes to those three, Aerith falls at the bottom of the list between them and not just because she gets the least amount of screen time compared to the other two. While she’s indeed a very beautiful young woman, there’s just a lot about her that really puts her under the gun.
The most pertinent aspect of Aerith that rubs me the wrong way is how needy she comes off to me. She’s a very helpless character in the game, often getting captured or finding herself in trouble. She tries to come off as the sweet little cutie pie kind of character, but I never really bought into it while playing the game, I always just looked at her as the girl who I ended up using at the healer until there was no reason to use her anymore.
She also is one of those girls who talks about her ex-boyfriend a bit, which for me is a massive no-no. If it comes up in question, no problem, but to bring it up out of nowhere like she does when Cloud mentions being in SOLDIER, that’s not cool. When I start a relationship with someone, I don’t want to hear about what another person was like, I don’t want to have to be measuring myself to someone else, both literally and metaphorically.
It’s not to say she’s all bad, yes she does have those moments where she comes off really sweet, she does seem like she is that type of girl, she’s just got baggage to her and given the universe she’s from, it’s no surprise. Granted in the Kingdom Hearts series, she’s also much more to the correct side of being a sweetheart, but again that’s because in Kingdom Hearts, the baggage doesn’t exist, she’s just cutie pie Aerith in that series.
So that makes my decision pretty easy here:
♠ ONE-NIGHT STAND ♠
There is an attraction to Aerith, don’t get me wrong, but from all accounts that I have with her, she’s a pretty face with a ton of baggage to her and I’m not really interested in dealing with that kind of stuff, I’m not big on drama. Yes she seems like a really nice girl if she didn’t have the ex-boyfriend shenanigans and the whole Cetra thing with Shinra constantly trying to kidnap her and experiment on her. Y’know all that jazz. But in the end, I think she’s the kind of girl that if I met somewhere and we somehow ended up sharing a bed one night, I think that’s as far as I’d let it go.
So that’s this week’s editon of Waifu, FWB, or One-Night Stand, hope you enjoyed it! Leave any comments you’ve got below, whether it’s your own choices between the three or maybe I’m missing something that could’ve turned the tide on my decision with any one of these girls.