Waifu, FWB or One-Night Stand? #3

It’s week #3 of the new weekly article on Tuesdays, Waifu, Friend With Benefits or One-Night Stand!

For those new to the article, this is not a post that talks about the “fuckability” of three randomly selected female characters from various anime and video games. I’m already attracted to them, it’s to be implied that I would share a bed with them already. What this article is meant to do, is go through their personalities, interests, anything pertinent to answering the question if they’re a one-time only, a friend that I might accept the occasional booty call from, or someone I would absolutely spend the rest of my life with.

So without further to do, let’s meet this week’s contestants!

01

A late edition to the Mass Effect series, Samantha Traynor is the third “next to your space map” soldier put into the game after Charles Pressly and Kelly Chambers. And out of all three of them, she’s easily my favourite by a massive landslide. And that’s not just because of the long journey she had to get a new toothbrush.

Samantha for me didn’t have nearly as many negative perceptions as Charles and Kelly did. Charles was very racist with aliens (granted he got better by the end before his death) and Kelly was just way too sweet and forthcoming with her whole “psychiatrist” gimmick she had as the ship’s yeoman. Sam on the other hand has a bit of everything you could ask for, she’s cute, funny, doesn’t come off as someone going too far in one direction personality-wise, she’s one of the most normal feeling girls in the entire Mass Effect series to me, which actually makes her unique in her own right, given the other girls she has to compete with.

However, there’s a bit of a snag…she’s a lesbian. You can try to woo her as Male Shepard during the “Game Night” activity, but there’s no shower scene with her if you’ve got a penis. Lucky FemShep!

There’s really not much else I can say about her since she’s more of a minor character, so let’s get this call out of the way:

♦ FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS ♦ 

Taking into account if she was bisexual at the very least, she falls right into the middle for me. I think she’s a cool person to hang around, however I don’t know enough about her to make a comfortable call on whether I’d go as far as marrying her. But there’s no doubt in my mind that I’d have her as a close friend and if she ever got a bit curious about a sexual relationship with a male, I’d be more than game. But since I’m not an asshole, I wouldn’t impede on her preferences if she was forever strictly for girls only. Though I admit I’d be a little sad…

01

This redhead beauty from the Saints Row series on the surface looks like a super-cute nerdy girl. And you’re not wrong, you’re just not getting the entire story about her.

She’s all kinds of crazy, clearly she’s gone through some real messed up stuff before you meet her in Saints Row 3, I’m sure all she went through with the Deckers is one of the many things. But I imagine she’s the kind of girl you don’t want to walk into a room when you’re tied up or chained up, unless you’re into that sort of thing of course. It’s pretty clear she’s got a hidden violent side that you don’t want to piss her off enough to unlock in her.

But most of all, she has a more extreme taste in sexual interaction as we see with her clear love and possibly obsession with S&M and being a Dominatrix. I mean in Saints Row 4 when you ask her to fuck point blank, she punches you in the face and jumps on top of you. She’s clearly a leader in the bedroom and not a soft one.

However, when she isn’t crazy, I can see her being someone that could be cool to hang around, after all she’s a giant nerd, plays video games, all that jazz. You just have to worry about her suddenly falling into madness at any moment.

And because of that, my decision is pretty easy:

♠ ONE-NIGHT STAND ♠ (at my own discretion)

With her fetishes and kinks, there’s no doubt in my mind that she’s a one-time-only kind of relationship when it comes to sex. And even then, because of the potential pain or at least discomfort I might face if I ever got that far with her, I may not even take that chance. For my own safety, I’m avoiding the whip and shit.

01

Speaking of crazy sex-craving girls, here’s Anna from Shimoneta: A Boring World Where the Concept of Dirty Jokes Doesn’t Exist, one of the best names of an anime ever. If you’ve seen the show, you are more than aware of the super sexual nature of the show and you most definitely know of Anna, the perfect girl that after a simple kiss goes from anti-everything when it comes to dirty language, sex, all that jazz…to a sex-craving lunatic that pretty much attempts to rape the MC from Episode 3 onward.

Before her true craziness begins, she’s the cliche perfect girl with perfect morals multiplied by a massive integer that no one can estimate. The no dirty jokes and sexual content alternate Japan causes some real fucked up ideologies and when you apply that to anime characters, you know it’s going to be so over-the-top it’s painful to watch. She seems like a nice girl, but holy hell would I be facepalming listening to her anti-sex gospel and drivel.

Now it’s a whole different story when she starts her sex craving. Now I want to stay away from her cause I’d fear for my safety, not only would she talk about the perfect world her mother is trying to create…she’s be violating me while she’s talking about it! How fucked up would that be?!

Taking all that into account, we have another first of decisions:

♠ ONE-NIGHT STAND ♠ (and then leave Japan forever) OR ♦ FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS ♦ (if she calms down)

The first decision that comes with conditions. Taking everything I know from how she acts from Episode 3 onwards, the immediate decision is a one-time-only type of relationship, which may likely be one that I didn’t even decide the when and where of, it may just happen when I’m not prepared. However, if I was able to pull her aside in a controlled environment (if that’s at all possible) and allow her the chance to explore all these newfound curiosities she has, because I’ll admit that I would without question have an escapade with her, she’s gorgeous. But I’d have to establish a “calm the fuck down” sort of condition, so she doesn’t cause me any major injury. And the other condition I’d have to add in there is if after that first time, she calms down quite a bit and stops being the sex-craving lunatic she is with Tanukichi, I’d happily be there when she’s in withdrawal again. Because given how she acts, especially from what we see when she nearly does the deed with Tanukichi, she looks like she’s be a fantastic bed. It’s worth the risk.


So that’s this week’s editon of Waifu, FWB, or One-Night Stand, hope you enjoyed it! Leave any comments you’ve got below, whether it’s your own choices between the three or maybe I’m missing something that could’ve turned the tide on my decision with any one of these girls.

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