Saturday Morning Rant: Canada vs American Sports


Look at this picture. Where’s the foul here? This is one of the many things that have happened in the NBA Eastern Conference Finals between the Toronto Raptors and the Cleveland Cavaliers that have made a lot of people, even sportscasters who are usually the last people to start talking about conspiracies. It’s raised a ton of questions, most of them pertaining to how everyone assumes the NBA under no circumstances want the lone Canadian team in the league in the NBA Finals.

So why is that? It’s pretty obvious, they want the best ratings possible for a NBA Finals matchup. Ideally, if Lebron James, the best player in the league isn’t there, the ratings aren’t as high. To me that’s fucking retarded as it is, I think Lebron’s had enough times in the Finals already, in FIVE STRAIGHT FINALS AND IT’LL BE SIX STRAIGHT IF THEY BEAT THE RAPTORS, as I’m writing this on Thursday and may forget to update this article after Game 6 on Friday. It brings up the talk about dynastys, to which I actually do not like, I have zero love for teams or individuals winning championships a lot over a small period of time. Guys like Tiger Woods, Roger Federer and Michael Schumacher, teams like the New England Patriots, Chicago Blackhawks and the stupid good Miami Heat before Lebron returned to Cleveland, all those dynasty teams or players bore the hell out of me. I think the idea of different teams and people in the top spot make things more interesting. And yes, my favourite teams could win three times in a row and I’d complain about that too, trust me. I’m a wrestling fan, when a good guy I like is champion a little too long, it gets boring. The chase is always better than the defence.

So when it comes to the NBA wanting the better ratings, I’m sorry but you rich motherfuckers can chill the fuck out, you’re already making a shit-ton of money, you just want to make that little extra cause y’know greed and all that. The fact that it’s blatantly obvious in some games you had the referees calling fouls only against the Raptors, Game 4 having an entire first half without the Raptors shooting a free throw, it’s disgusting. I enjoy watching sports because it’s unpredictable, once you try to alter the unpredictability of the game, I don’t care. You may be trying to add the stupid casual viewers who could give a fuck about your sport, but when you alienate the hardcore fans, who buy the expensive tickets, who buy the merchandise, there’s a problem. Don’t think that Canadians are the only ones bitching about the way this series has been called, there are a ton of Americans who hate Lebron James for both similar and different reasons.


As we’ve also learned in Major League Baseball, for some reason Canadian teams seem to be hated more. The Toronto Blue Jays have been the greatest example of this, since the emotional ALDS matchup last year with the Texas Rangers. So let’s get it out of the way, was Jose Bautista wrong for the “bat flip”? Absolutely not and yes, I would’ve said the same thing if Adrian Beltre did a bat flip if he made a huge homerun to take the lead after such a emotional roller coaster of a game. But apparently a celebration akin to what’s normal in the NFL made all of America hate the Blue Jays for some reason. So when the brawl happened earlier this season, the American commentators were acting like the Rangers did nothing wrong and I watched as people where going “Yeah, Jose deserved to get his teeth knocked down his throat!” and saying other stupid shit that made this a blatant national rivalry that’s really non-existent. The solution would’ve been simple for the Rangers, if they hadn’t royally fucked up in that inning during the ALDS, Jose never hits that homerun. You go on to the ALCS against Kansas City and that’s that. But you fucked up, deal with it, don’t be a bunch of fucking crybabies.

Both sides honestly are fucking ridiculous with the whole “Canada vs USA” rivalry in sports. We’ve proven though it doesn’t matter too much, with Canadians still watching the NHL playoffs even though for the first time in forever, no Canadian team was in the playoffs. Americans on the other hand, because the cliche dumbass American has this blind patriotism and thinks they have to make everything that goes outside their borders into a national rivalry. As a wrestling fan it makes me facepalm when it’s as easy as having a non-American get in the ring and say the USA sucks and he’s become public enemy number one. There’s a clear self-conscious issue going on with a lot of Americans where they seem to feel the need to beat everyone at everything and when they don’t, there’s a ton of complaining and excuses. While Canada on the other side (for the most part) doesn’t fall into this spectrum. When Canadian tennis player Milos Raonic loses again Novak Djokovic for the umpteenth time, we don’t turn it into a Canada/Serbia matchup. When the Blue Jays lost against the Royals in last year’s ALCS, we didn’t treat it like America screwed us, we just hated the fan that got in the way and we think a few players on the Royals are assholes. The biggest one is whenever Canada plays the USA in every Women’s Hockey Championship Final. We know this is a rivalry, but we don’t treat it like a national rivalry, at least most of us don’t. If we lose, we’re not going “Fucking Americans!” or some shit, we realize that our team got outplayed. We look at this matchup like Goliath vs Goliath, an even matchup where either team could win.

This on the other hand is okay
This on the other hand is okay

In the end, I think mostly due to American culture, Canadian teams are automatically behind the gun in any American sport or league. National pride is a thing in the States and for some reason they feel like excluding Canadian teams, but you’re the idiots who gave them a team to begin with. The NHL are fucking retarded for continuing to try and make teams work in places without snow when there is legitimate money to be made with a couple more teams in Canada. The MLB is ridiculous for having the Blue Jays in their first playoff series in over 20 years and not allowing the Canadian broadcast team we all know and love commentate their games. And the NBA is absolutely fucking despicable if they actually are telling the referees to put the game in the Cavs’ favour (I also disagree with the whole “the stars get the calls” ideology of refereeing, call it right down the middle, let the talent level dictate the end result) and trying to screw over the Raptors solely for ratings in the NBA Finals.

Us Canadians all assumed the Raptors would lose this series, hell we thought a single win would’ve been a miracle. Lebron James and the Cavaliers don’t need your help, they’re good enough on their own. Now kindly fuck off!

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