Waifu, FWB or One-Night Stand? #28

It’s week #28 of Waifu, Friend With Benefits or One-Night Stand!

For those new to the article, this is not a post that talks about the “fuckability” of three randomly selected female characters from various anime and video games. I’m already attracted to them, it’s to be implied that I would share a bed with them already. What this article is meant to do, is go through their personalities, interests, anything pertinent to answering the question if they’re a one-time only, a friend that I might accept the occasional booty call from, or someone I would absolutely spend the rest of my life with.

So without further to do, let’s meet this week’s contestants!


Kicking off this week’s edition is Rei from Vividred Operation, a show that perfected the literal art of the anime butt. Rei has the tragic backstory of losing her family and the entire other world she’s from when it was destroyed, told it was because of the Manifestation Engine that her entire homeworld is completely gone.

Because of this, the majority of time we see Rei she’s pretty much a loner. She goes out of her way to be alone, she doesn’t interact with people unless she absolutely has to (and even then she’ll try to avoid it) and prefers it that way. She also doesn’t have a materialistic need, as her apartment that she lives alone in is pretty much barren, just the bare essentials and a birdcage for her pet, Bisque.

So all in all, it seems really hard to put any stock into Rei, because quite frankly there’s almost nothing about her to talk about. But I think there needs to be a little more emphasis on how a lot of what makes Rei what she is, it’s large in part due to the tragic events around her family. Now we obviously have to apply this to real life, so we have to just apply whatever tragic occurrence we want to her parents that would cause their deaths regardless. As much as I’d like to save them, it’s so defining to her character that we can’t change that. But I actually wonder how she would be if her family was very much still alive. It’s quite the question, who knows if she’d be far more cheerful or if she’d still be a bit of a loner.

Either way, that’s about all I’ve got on Rei, so here’s my call:


As much as I want to find something in Rei that could make me think otherwise, there just isn’t anything to grab that could give me any sort of confidence that a relationship could form with her. But how do you form a relationship with someone who literally does not want to establish any sort of relationship with anyone? At the end of the day, as much as I like Rei, in fact she’s quite possibly one of the more attractive anime girls I’ve seen, by taking her personality into account as well, there just isn’t anything there to make me even consider investing anything more than a single day of my time to her. There’s just not enough of a guarantee that I’m not just wasting my time with her.


Another show that perfected the anime butt, Strike Witches comes into the fight and throws in the 18 year-old pseudo-German, Flight Lieutenant Gertrud Barkhorn.

While many characters in the Strike Witches cast are extremely perky, over-the-top, overly sexuxal and many other anime tropes, Gertrud is probably one of the closest to being “normal” compared to the other girls in her unit, that we are totally ignoring here because, well…I’m not dating a girl who today would be 90 years old. So like we’ve done before with military girls, we’re adjusting Gertrud to a more normal military career, perhaps the German Air Force (or Luftwaffe) due to her unit being known for flying.

Gertrud is your standard military girl, she’s very serious when it comes to her work, often having a bit of a short fuse with the other girls in her unit when they’re not following the many rules and regulations they’re all supposed to be acting under. She has a firm belief in that any and all members of the military should be well-disciplined and abide by all the rules in front of them, right or not. Though other than Erica, she’s not the type to overly enforce it on everyone, thankfully.

She’s a real strong girl, very calm, cool and collected, she keeps herself down in realistic expectations, not shooting for the stars like most want to. She’s pretty much keeping her feet on the ground in terms of her daily life. Like I said, she does tend to have a hot-blooded side to her and she does get a little worked up, especially when it comes to trying not to be hard on herself and others in her unit, she almost can’t avoid being a little too harsh. Around her friends, she’s a little more lax, but you’re getting the serious side more often than not.

I’d talk about her siscon stuff, but that’s not really important with all this, so let’s just cut to my decision, shall we?


While she’s not as bad an option as Rei is with her loner personality, Gertrud is still the kind of the girl that I just get the feeling I wouldn’t gel with at all. Overly serious people just don’t attract me at all, I’m way too light-hearted and I like to keep all doors open. Gertrud holds herself to task and staying within the rules applied to her, that ain’t gonna work with me at all. So while I still like Gertrud, she’s a real pretty girl, the overly seriousness and rule-abiding personality she has is just a polar opposite to me and would not work at all.


Well shit, there goes a defining feature already. Obviously the Elven race doesn’t exist in real life, so GATE‘s Tuka is gonna have to trade in those pointy ears for some boring ol’ human ears! Not to mention, y’know…the whole…other dimension thing. Yeah, that kinda has to go too.

Right off the bat, we have to address the more important trait that Tuka has, which is the psychotic breakdown she has after her father and the rest of her village is destroyed in a dragon attack. Applying this to real life, it’s hard to figure out how you do that with anything other than a terrorist attack, it’s gotta be something equally horrifying so Tuka’s personality remains the same. So keeping her crazy phase alive, while I would hope that she doesn’t turn me into her father when she’s around me, there’s clearly a ton of mental trauma with Tuka ever since her father’s death. Granted in the present day, it would be easier to attempt to remedy her trauma, as therapy is more readily available than it would be in a fantasy world, but it’s safe to say there’s a real risk with Tuka due to this trauma.

But at the same time, when the crazy switch isn’t on, Tuka is an absolutely massive ray of sunshine when things are at their most normal. She’s always smiling, always happy to help, you just can’t help but be happy around her. She gets a little more reserved when she starts panicking about things, but aside from that, she’s a blast to be around.

And that’s all I’ve got for Tuka, so let’s finish off this week’s contestants!


I don’t know if this is the first sweep of one tier in these articles, but it’s certainly the first sweep of One-Night Stands. This is a more selfish reason for me, depending on how you look at it, but while yes, Tuka is a super fun girl to be around, the sheer amount of baggage she carries with the mental trauma she has is just way too much for me to want to take on. Like, I could deal with mourning loss, y’know tears here and there…but this girl turned the closest male to her into her father! She literally replaced him in her head with the image of her deceased father, because she refused to believe he was dead. That level of mental trauma is not something I want to be fucking with, both literally and figuratively. It’s not to say it’s not treatable and it might even be manageable, but I’m not a gambler and I think the risks involved with dating a girl like Tuka are just way too high.

So that’s this week’s edition of Waifu, FWB, or One-Night Stand, hope you enjoyed it! Leave any comments you’ve got below, whether it’s your own choices between the three or maybe I’m missing something that could’ve turned the tide on my decision with any one of these girls.

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