Saturday Morning Rant: If You Liked Anyone, 2016 Sucked!


This will be a long ass depressing article, so be warned.

If you liked anyone on the planet Earth this year, 2016 sucked for you. There’s no avoiding it, 2016 was not a good year. I don’t know if it’s the worst year I can remember for notable deaths, but it’s certainly the one that I’ve paid the most attention to.

So I figured for this year’s final Saturday Morning Rant, we’d lift up our collective middle fingers to the year and remember all the people that were taken away from us. I may miss a few along the way due to either not knowing who they were or forgetting about them, so if I do miss someone, please put them in the comments below.

David Bowie (69) - January 10th
David Bowie (69) – January 10th

What a start to the year this was. While I’m not the biggest fan of David Bowie, he was my girlfriend’s favourite artist, period. There’s no denying what Bowie did for the music industry over the years, the artists and bands he influenced, the people who his music helped get through tough times.

Alan Rickman (69) - January 14th
Alan Rickman (69) – January 14th

Four days later! Barely enough time for people to adjust to a world without David Bowie and we also lost Alan Rickman. Die Hard, Harry Potter, hell I loved Galaxy Quest, the man made his mark in the world of film!

Abe Vigoda (94) - January 26th
Abe Vigoda (94) – January 26th

Now to be fair, I only know Abe from The Godfather and that Snickers commercial, but hey, being known from the Godfather is a pretty goddamn good thing to be remembered from!

Dave Mirra (41) - February 4th
Dave Mirra (41) – February 4th

If you grew up with the Tony Hawks of the world, you knew that Dave Mirra was the Tony Hawk of BMX. If you were old enough as well, you probably played the Dave Mirra’s Freestyle BMX video game too. A legend in the sport of BMX.

Harper Lee (89) - February 19th
Harper Lee (89) – February 19th

She wrote To Kill A Mockingbird, a book that a lot of us read at some point because our schools made us. But it was a damn good book and I don’t say that often.

George Kennedy (91) - February 28th
George Kennedy (91) – February 28th

I loved him in Airport and The Naked Gun, but a lot of people will also remember him from Cool Hand Luke, a movie I’ve been told I need to watch.

Hayabusa (47) - March 3rd
Hayabusa (47) – March 3rd

Real name Eiji Ezaki, Hayabusa was a well-known Japanese wrestler who was very popular in the 90s. He suffered a career-ending injury in 2001 where he ended up paralyzed. Even worse, he was actually starting to be able to move again when he was told he’d never walk and then he passed away not long after.

Frank Sinatra Jr. (72) - March 16th
Frank Sinatra Jr. (72) – March 16th

Like his father before him, Frank was a singer and songwriter. Many will remember him as well for his couple of appearances on Family Guy.

Merle Haggard (79) - April 6th
Merle Haggard (79) – April 6th

While I don’t know really anything about Merle, he was a well-known country music artist between the 60s and 80s.

Blackjack Mulligan (73) - April 7th
Blackjack Mulligan (73) – April 7th

Real name Robert Windham, Blackjack Mulligan was a famous professional wrestler in the 70s and 80s. For newer fans they know him as the father of Barry Windham and grandfather of current WWE talent Bray Wyatt and Bo Dallas.

Doris Roberts (90) - April 17th
Doris Roberts (90) – April 17th

While being an actress since the late 60s, most will remember Doris as Marie, Ray’s mother on the hit sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond.

Chyna (46) - April 20th
Chyna (46) – April 20th

Real name Joanie Laurer, Chyna was a popular professional wrestler during the Attitude Era of the WWF. She is known as one of the most prominent female wrestlers in history, becoming the only woman to win a men’s championship belt in the WWE and was also the first woman to participate in the Royal Rumble and King of the Ring.

Prince (57) - April 21st
Prince (57) – April 21st

Losing David Bowie alone was enough for the music world in 2016. Then Prince passed away in April. Another artist I didn’t listen to much myself, I cannot deny the outreach Prince had through the entire music industry, a legendary artist.

Muhammad Ali (74) - June 3rd
Muhammad Ali (74) – June 3rd

No sports-related death this year was bigger than Muhammad Ali. The biggest name in boxing history, Ali was not only one of the best boxers ever, he was also one of the best talkers ever in all of sports.

Gordie Howe (88) - June 10th
Gordie Howe (88) – June 10th

But the sports world didn’t get long to mourn before also losing one of the biggest names in hockey. Gordie Howe was arguably the second-most famous name in hockey under Wayne Gretzky, known in the hockey world as “Mr. Hockey”.

Anton Yelchin (27) - June 18th
Anton Yelchin (27) – June 18th

Because you also have to have a shocking young death, Anton who was well-known as an up-and-coming actor (Star Trek, Terminator Salvation) who in a freak accident was killed when his own car pinned him against a wall.

Kenny Baker (81) - August 13th
Kenny Baker (81) – August 13th

Kenny was the one responsible for the character that so many people grew up loving, R2-D2 in the Star Wars series.

Mr. Fuji (82) - August 28th
Mr. Fuji (82) – August 28th

Real name Harry Fujiwara, Mr. Fuji was a well-known professional wrestler and manager. Most will know him for managing Yokozuna and Owen Hart.

Gene Wilder (83) – August 28th

This one struck a heavy hit to film fans worldwide. Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory, Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, Gene will be remembered as a legend in the film world.

Jose Fernandez (24) - September 25th
Jose Fernandez (24) – September 25th

Another young death, Jose was an ace pitcher for the Miami Marlins who tragically passed away in a boating accident. One of the most emotional sports stories of the year, especially when Dee Gordon hit a leadoff home run the first game back after his passing.

Arnold Palmer (87) - September 25th
Arnold Palmer (87) – September 25th

And on the same day, the sports world lost another major legend. Arnold Palmer was one of the most well-known names in all of golf, winning 62 PGA Tour titles, seven of them majors.

Leonard Cohen (82) – November 7th

A well-known name in the music industry, Leonard was a long-time singer and songwriter, most well-known for the song “Hallelujah”.

John Glenn (95) - December 8th
John Glenn (95) – December 8th

A senator and the first American to orbit around the Earth, John was a very well-known American figure.

George Michael (53) - December 25th
George Michael (53) – December 25th

Merry Christmas everyone, one of the members of Wham! has passed away. Back to your jolly selves now! Go on! Be jolly!

Carrie Fisher (60) - December 27th
Carrie Fisher (60) – December 27th

And just to cap the year off, let’s kill off one of the most well-known characters in all of film. Everyone knows Carrie Fisher for her betrayal of Princess Leia in the Star Wars franchise. Makes it even weirder now that I’ve seen Star Wars: Rogue One, now I think I saw the ghost of Carrie Fisher, since her original 1977 form from the original movie.

So 2016, as the new year approaches: Fuck you and I’m glad you’re just about over.

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