Saturday Morning Rant: Fuck You, Amazon!

Dear Amazon,

I like your website. I’ve bought a ton of things from you. Thanks for that.

But fuck you for your new anime service, Anime Strike!

This season has become a real difficult one for me in terms of watching anime in simulcast form. Usually I use a service like Crunchyroll, but you took two shows away from them that they streamed the first season of and on top of that, three other shows I intended to watch.

Here’s the five shows you’ve kept from me:

  • Armed Girl’s Machiavellism
  • Sagrada Reset
  • Saekano: How to Raise a Boring Girlfriend (Season 2)
  • Kabukibu!
  • Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? Sword Oratoria

Now you’re probably thinking: “How did we keep these from you?”, funny you asked. Well for starters, you’re being a bit ridiculous right off the bat by having your service for $4.99 a month provided you also have an Amazon Prime membership. That sucks. But you know, I could look past that, I can accept getting an Amazon Prime membership, just means I’ll start buying stuff from you more often to justify the monthly costs. Oh wait, I can’t, because Anime Strike is only available to US customers.

Wait…you want to be a streaming site of anime that comes from Japan. It’s not dubbed anime, it’s straight from Japan with subtitles. You want to stream this content from a country that isn’t the United States, but only make it available to the United States? You’re an international company, but you’re going to take anime that has been available before to customers outside of the United States AND LIMIT THEM NOW TO ONLY THE UNITED STATES?!!!

Amazon, I gotta level with you here, you’re being absolutely fucking retarded here. I do not understand whatsoever why you are taking foreign content and making it available in one country, like it’s foreign content that you made. You can’t tell me that it’s expensive to make available in other countries when there are a number of services that already do it. On top of that, YOU’RE FUCKING AMAZON!!! You have more than enough money to afford the “extra costs” to stream these shows internationally. And you know what? Even if you tell me “Hey, we’re testing this service, so we’re keeping this to the U.S. for now.”, well in that case, WHY DID YOU GET SHOWS THAT HAVE HAD SEASONS ALREADY STREAMED INTERNATIONALLY?!!! You could’ve easily grabbed shows like Alice to Zouroku, Gin no Guardian, shows that are debuting their first seasons. But instead you grabbed shows like Saekano, Sword Orotoria, Shingeki no Bahamut, shows that other services have put out for all to see and you put them behind a border wall.

So Amazon, while I still love you as a shopping service, fuck you and I will be more than happy to just wait until the season’s over and torrent these shows and watch them on my own time.

It’s 2017, folks. How the fuck are we still region-locking anything?!

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