As of writing this, it’s Friday night on the 3rd of November. I’m listening to the newest episode of H3H3’s podcast with Jordan Peterson, which is a really fascinating listen by the way! I took a second to throw up my blog’s admin page where I can see all my stuff and schedule and I noticed that this article was sitting in the queue.
I totally forgot that six days from the time I’m writing this article, that it’s been two years to the day since the first article was posted on here. Now I won’t spend another couple paragraphs going into what happened in that first year (that’s for the 1-year anniversary article here!), but there’s a couple notes from this year that I felt was worth talking about.
First, obviously the metrics. I was amazed when I rolled into a full year of posting here that I had accrued an average between 2000 and 3000 views every month. In the real scale of things on the internet, that’s essentially nothing, but to me, who I consider a nobody guy in Canada who just happens to enjoy talking about anything and everything, 2000 to 3000 views was insane and I couldn’t wait to progress further. Things looked amazing after that, in the following two months, I got double those views, December hitting 6000 and January hitting 5500. I thought I was making a breakthrough, perhaps just being around and consistent for a year was helping that, but whatever the reason, I was climbing and I was excited to go further…
Then everything went downhill for me. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this on here before, but the majority of 2016 and the first few months of 2017 were really rough on me. I had lost my job in the summer and struggled to find a replacement that could keep me afloat all through the fall and winter. Even worse, the home I was living in with two of my best friends, through those two friends (who are now proud parents, and congratulations to them!) being unable to afford living in this home, as they were accruing a ton of debt, we had to go our separate ways. The three years in that house were amazing for me, it was my first time living out of my parents’ place, I was truly free and individual. I found so much about myself that I never knew existed, in more ways than one. But in February, I was now living in a place I wasn’t comfortable in, I celebrated a birthday essentially at my wit’s end, just keeping up the facade that I wasn’t a broken mind.
Once spring came, things really started looking up. I found a job that I am now working full-time, it’s the first job I’ve ever had benefits at and holy hell, I’ve never been so happy in my life when it comes to my work environment. Am I completely out of my depression now? No, there’s still a couple things going in my life that are making things really difficult, but it’s hard to complain regardless. I have a job I actually enjoy waking up at 6am for (as a night owl, that’s saying something!), my debt is slowly but surely fading away and socially, I’m having some of the most enjoyable times of my life, perhaps the most enjoyable year for me socially before I graduated high school, as many refer to “the good ol’ days” where we didn’t have to be responsible for shit!
Y’know I sit here in early November, certainly a hell of a lot more positive than I was behind the scenes. On the blog, I was excited as hell, but in the back of my mind, I was beyond freaking out. Now I’m excited in life and in all honesty, I’m just enjoying the riding now here on the blog.
It’s no secret that the tail end of summer was a worrying time for anyone who’s been here for a while now. On average before July, I was posting at least 20 posts every month. In August and September, I barely made that 20 number with those two months combined. Now there was a number of reasons for it. The quick one was that quite frankly, I was busy as all hell. I attended three weddings, one of which I was a groomsman, I went on a number of day-long trips and at that point, I was just pre-occupied with so much every day. I was working 40 hours a week, playing baseball two days a week, soccer another day. I had social gatherings every other night, often visited my parents every weekend for something. Basically, the amount of time I had free, I had to make a choice: to either work on the blog here, or use that free time to do things I wanted to do.
And that was the big revelation for me this year. Now I don’t know if I’ll somehow get lucky and make the right post at the right time and catch fire, getting a lot of attention, whether it’s here, on Twitter, on YouTube, who knows. I’ve honestly though resigned myself to the idea that I’m not going to become an internet celebrity, as in someone getting 10,000+ views on YouTube, my blog, thousands of Twitter followers, all that sexy stuff I could boast about to my friends. Now did I start this page to become that? God no. As I said in my 1-year post, I started this place because I was bored as hell and needed something to keep myself busy. Now my life has gotten busy, so changes had to be made, thus stuff like the Anime/Gaming/Character Spotlights, Waifu/Friend with Benefits/One-Night Stand, Sexy/Beauty/Cutie and even my Top 10s, which I never thought I run out of ideas on, all those kinds of articles, they had to go the way of the dodo.
In the end, I came to the decision that this blog was not going to be a place of work for me. I don’t view my blog as a place like Kotaku, like IGN, like Crunchyroll’s news page, I don’t want this place to be a “professional” level page. I don’t want this blog to be a place where I’m expected to write an article every day or at the very least every other day, regardless of whether I have something to say or not. I don’t want to write articles that I’m not 100% behind, that I’m not fully invested and excited to write. And I especially don’t want this to be a place where I feel like it’s a place of work more than a place of leisure. I can recall the weeks leading up to me stopping the Anime/Gaming/Character spotlight articles, where I struggled to come up with anything that I wanted to write about, but I was forcing an article out because I had to do one every Thursday, or whatever day I normally scheduled them at. Thus I eventually got fed up and told myself “If you don’t want to write anymore, then you need to stop before you never want to again.” and that’s kind of where we stand now.
I have a desire to write again, October certainly showed that. There’s stuff I want to say, content I want to try out, but the journey’s gonna be a slower one than the one I tried to cultivate in my first year. I’m going to keep posting at my own pace, whether that’s 4-5 articles in a week, or maybe just the weekly anime review article all week, it really depends on my availability and if enough topics come along that get me fired up to write. I want to do more reviews, but obviously game reviews take longer, since I don’t have the time to finish games as easily as I used to. Which by the way, that should be a prerequisite to reviewing games, you have to FINISH them, not put in 30 hours into an 80+ hour journey and say you know everything.
I still want to do more YouTube content, but that might be a ways away from being a normal thing. My goal for the time being is to from now on do my end of season anime awards and reviews as a YouTube video. Anything beyond that, it’s tough, as the place I live in right now is one where I don’t have a quiet space to record, nor one where I feel comfortable talking about more controversial topics that I’d love nothing more to get into on YouTube. I’d love to talk politics or scream about things being trash, but I’m currently living in a place where I can’t be loud, nor do I feel comfortable openly talking about the views I hold, regardless of whether they’re right or not. My hope is that by the time spring rolls around next year, I’ll finally be living in my own space again and able to get back to doing whatever I want to do, wherever that content comes from and gets posted to.
Now because my posting may not be as active, I’m trying to find other ways as well to at least stick around when I’m not writing an endless supply of blog posts. I’m still trying to get myself to post on Twitter more often, I find it hard at times, cause I only really want to post something I feel is interesting or funny, not the random “I’m doing this” posts you see so many people spam their Twitter accounts with. I’m trying to make it a habit of posting one picture a day on my Instagram again, usually with a silly quip. Most of all, I’ve started a Slack chat as a way to perhaps talk with you lovely folks more. No one’s joined yet, which I’m not surprised by honestly, I’ve only got 300 followers on the blog. I just find it so much fun to chat with people about random shit and I need more outlets to do so, so what better people to talk to than the people who somehow find me interesting enough to ready my shit?
So yeah, it’s been two years now and this second year has kind of been the year of learning, the year of trial and error and most importantly, the year of overcoming things. What does the third year have in store? I’m not even going to try and figure that one out. All I know is that whoever is reading my stuff and enjoying it still to this day, you guys are fucking awesome. Thank you so much for being here and making me believe that sure, I may not be the biggest name out there, but damn it, I’m not at the bottom either!!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!