I Wish I Could Hibernate During The Winter

I am Canadian. I hate winter. It almost comes off as a sentence that should get me automatically deported from the country for saying. It’s almost like saying “I hate hockey”, which I believe IS a deportable offence, thankfully I do not hate hockey. It’s almost like saying “I hate maple syrup”, which personally I think you should be thrown in prison for, because if you don’t like maple syrup, especially on waffles and/or pancakes, you are a crazy person and we ought to throw you in prison, just on the safe side, y’know?

But yeah, I hate winter. I despise winter. I haven’t cared about the coldest season of the year since I was a teenager, still going out to steep hills at night with my friends and risking life and limb doing stupid shit like going down an icy ski hill in nothing but a crazy carpet. I have fond memories of winter days as a kid, but they aren’t necessarily filled with the common stuff. I never made my own snowman, as I didn’t have the patience for it. I may have raided other kids’ snow forts, but I never really built one myself. I might’ve built a wall, but never a whole fort.

Today at the ripe age of 29, this winter especially has reminded me as to why I am much more in tune with the warmer months of the year. I find myself a lot more irritable, a lot more miserable now that temperatures have gone below zero, now that I have to spend an extra 5-10 minutes taking the snow and ice off of my car in the morning before work. I find that the winter is nothing more than a number of months that test your fortitude and ability to not want to kill somebody out of sheer frustration. I mean, come on! The entire season is chalk full of shitty weather that makes every person around you forget how to drive, thus making your daily commute THAT much more dangerous, as if it needed to be any more dangerous already (that’s an article for another day).

The biggest thing of all is the most simple: I hate the cold. Plain and simple. If I had the choice of either freezing my ass off or sweating my ass off, I’ll take the heat any day. I equate it to my logic of that you would jump in a pool if you’re really hot, but you wouldn’t jump into a hot spring if you’re freezing cold. I also don’t like hot drinks very much, so drinking hot cocoa or something during the winter doesn’t have the same effect on me as drinking an ice cold pop in the summer. I just cannot stand the weather once the temperature drops below zero. It’s debilitating, you can’t focus and it can actually hurt when you’re really, really cold.

If I had the ability to do so, I’d hibernate through the entire winter. But y’know, the whole “needing money to pay bills” thing kind of gets in the way of that. Which really sucks, because I would finish so many video games that are just begging me to start playing them…

3 thoughts on “I Wish I Could Hibernate During The Winter”

  1. I also hate the cold, though what I class as cold you would probably laugh at. This weekend it rained in my town for the first time in months and the temperature dropped fifteen degrees over night. I ended up wearing a jacket the next day because I was cold even though it was still over twenty degrees celcius. I am definitely not looking forward to winter.


    1. I still sympathize for anyone who deals with weather when it goes below what is perceived as “freezing” temperatures where they are, whether that’s below zero celsius, or 10.

      I want 10 to be “cold” where I am, but beggars can’t be choosers.

      Liked by 1 person

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