So I’m getting really stressed out with the weekly anime posts. I don’t know if it shows at all. I hope not, because the shows I finish each season are genuinely shows I enjoy watching. But this year has really been a difficult year internally for me when it comes to doing these reviews.
And just so you know, this isn’t a “I’m not doing the weeklies anymore” post. My full intentions are to continue these. But I felt that these past couple seasons required me to come out and talk to you guys about how things have been going for me personally as a massive consumer of anime.
The biggest thing obviously is that the number of shows I’m reviewing is seemingly getting shorter. This current season has 6 shows left and quite honestly could potentially go down to 4 by the very end, if My Sister, My Writer and Merc Storia don’t get their shit together soon.
Let’s see how the number of completed shows fare from this season to the fall season of 2016:
Fall 2016: 8 shows
Winter 2017: 8 shows
Spring 2017: 7 shows
Summer 2017: 6 shows
Fall 2017: 7 shows
Winter 2018: 9 shows
Spring 2018: 6 shows
Summer 2018: 7 shows
Fall 2018: 6 shows (potentially 4)
So generally speaking, over the past two years, the average is dropping. Albeit, it may only be from 8 to 7, maybe 6, but in reality that’s a major drop-off. I start every season with 15-20 shows and I’m dropping over half nowadays. That’s not good!
I honestly can’t even tell you guys specifically why this drop-off is happening. Is it me being pickier now that I’m in my 4th year of doing this? Is the quality of shows getting worse? Am I burning out from watching too much anime every season? Am I not watching enough shows in the first week? Am I too quick to drop shows? Am I too critical of shows? Is the format I’m running making it difficult to keep okay-at-best shows? I can’t put my finger on one thing specifically, maybe it’s all the above, who knows. Either way, I’m watching less and less as seasons close out and it’s really starting to chip away at me.
It really just comes down to that I want you guys to feel like I’m committing to things here, that I’m not just half-assing it. Maybe you guys don’t feel this way at all and I’m overreacting, but I do feel like I’m cheating you guys out a little bit. Now granted, I’m always trying to find ways to add more onto the page to keep things fresh and I’m still fighting many issues such as time, but mostly that I’m still trying to get my own space (I had no idea how difficult it would be to find my own bloody apartment…) so I can potentially do more without anyone bothering me. I really do want to figure out ways to add more content, but there’s a lot of things holding me back or keeping me from pulling the trigger.
Ah hell, I’ve been wanting to talk about things here, so let’s dive slightly deeper before I end what was supposed to be a quick post!
Full admittance, I often think about possibly ceasing all of this. The blog, YouTube, podcasting, bitching about things on Twitter, all of that jazz. I love doing all of these things, do not misunderstand me, but I am also in full awareness how less stressful it would be for me to stop doing all of these things. It doesn’t feel like I’m doing all that much on here to begin with, but because I have so many things going on (mostly because I commit to way too many things…), it’s hard to find time to write articles, record video/audio, edit said video/audio, go on podcasts/streams, be active on social media (that’s the hard one for me, I can’t justify spending excessive amounts of time on Twitter) and so much more.
I’m still a massive gamer, I’ve got a massive backlog of games I’m trying to finish. I play recreational league sports once or twice a week. I work 10 hour days, 4 days a week. Realistically, I’ve got three full days to do whatever and that’s usually filled up with gaming, family and friends and other distractions. The main reason the anime weeklies has been the one to stay on here the entire time is because I already plan on watching the weekly simulcasts, all I’m doing is adding an extra 5-10 minutes on top of every episode to write stuff and post screenshots to Twitter, not too big a time stretch. But recording and editing a video for YouTube, even the ones I’ve been posting recently that’s just me talking with a still image on screen? Still a half-hour to an hour for recording, plus a few hours for going through the audio for mistakes and editing the video, as little effort that goes into it. 2-4 hours a video over perhaps an extra hour of writing for a weekly post? You don’t have to be good at math to see the efficiency there.
When you’re trying to find ways to squeeze things in, it’s exhausting. I’m leaving for work a half-hour early to maybe record audio for a YouTube video in my car, I’m hopping on a friend’s livestream to have some sort of video presence so I don’t have to worry about running things myself. Hell, I’m writing this article right now at work while it’s SUPER DEAD here. Almost anytime I stop doing something, it’s because I can’t get myself to do it, and the video content I was doing for a few months is a great example of it. I’m giving up an hour of sleep (cause I ain’t going to bed early!) to record videos, coming home and spending 1-3 hours editing or at the very least giving up my computer to rendering and exporting the video. Eventually, there’s a burn out to it, especially when I barely have free time as it is.
I love making content. I could care less if 10 people watch a video, or no one comments on an article I write. I started this all because I wanted an outlet to get a lot of my thoughts out. Even with the mental exhaustion, I still love doing it. I can only imagine the big names out there on YouTube, Twitch and other places are the same way, just…y’know…they get paid! I never really had a goal in mind in terms of viewer counts, making money, becoming famous. It was kind of just something if it happened, it’d be a bonus. And it remains that way.
So apologies for the long introspective rant. To make a long story short, I hate how small the weeklies are because I feel I’m not doing enough. Yet at the same time, I’m aware how much harder it’d be for me to watch more than 10 shows a week and be on time for the Monday posting.
I’m a selfish bastard, I don’t wanna give up all-day game fests.