Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Hi! (I Couldn’t Think Of A Clever Title…)

I told myself I was going to do this about a month or so ago and then I flaked out on that one. So here we are, August is nearly upon us, and the last time I wrote anything on here was on April Fools, and it wasn’t a joke post. Sure, I’ve been posting video content, but for all you readers on the site, I haven’t really given you anything to work with here. So here’s a first in a while, a nice written hello, brought to you by a guy who is basically staring at the clock on his work computer during one of the more dead days he’s had in quite some time.

How’s everybody been, since I last wrote something here? Me? It’s been an absolute fucking whirlwind since April 1st of this year. As I said in March article about how weird I felt posting videos again, I moved into my own place, a nice shiny new apartment and now that the transition phase is over, things have certainly gotten a lot better for me, in more ways than one.

I’m 31 years old and technically this is the first time I’ve ever lived on my own. I moved out of my parents’ place when I was 25, but from then to now, I was still living with other people, but I certainly had a lot more freedom. But now, sky’s been the limit for me and it’s been quite the breath of fresh air. The fridge and freezer is all mine, I dictate the noise in the place, no worrying about waking other people up, or vice versa. And in true anime fashion, pants are optional, or in my case, never used.

Almost. Sitting on the couch naked just feels weird, honestly…

Jokes aside, the most important thing since moving to my own place has been the time I’ve had to sit and think and really get myself to a place where I feel like I have full clarity of mind. I’ve really started to chill out again, for example I’m trying my ass off to stay out of politics that don’t cross into the nerd culture territory. I already take enough of my energy and put it towards gaming, anime, pro wrestling and more, why waste any more on a part of society that I don’t know remotely enough about and don’t necessarily care about as much? And it’s been about a month since I made that decision and I’ve already been less upset at things. I spend far more time enjoying things, than freaking out about miniscule crap going on in parts of the world I don’t live in.

But having clarity of mind means far more than just not being pissed off at pointless shit. Through a number of short spurts of depression, high stress and all that lovely bullshit, I’ve for the time being, found myself in a much calmer state of mind, which has really allowed me to let my creativity flow a little more freely, instead of being constantly distracted by other things.

Speaking of creativity, part of why I got myself to finally write here, is because things happened recently that really kickstarted my desire to make more content. Last weekend I went to small local convention, one I’ve attended for six years and have done panels for five. This year was my fourth year doing an anime discussion panel with a well-known anime YouTuber called Glass Reflection and this year’s edition turned out to be the best I’ve ever done. I’ve never felt more comfortable, all my jokes were landing among the crowd of about 100 people in attendance and by the end of it, I had several people asking me after the panel was over what my Twitter/YouTube handle was and one fan even became the artist of my very first piece of fan art.

Before this panel happened, I was already thoroughly enjoying my convention experience this year, but this panel did something to me. Changed me.

I mean, it’s pretty simple to say that because I got an overwhelming amount of positive feedback and even a really awesome surprise, I suddenly want to do more of the thing that generated this amount of positivity. And thus that is what I plan to do. I already plan on doing weekly reviews of All Elite Wrestling once they start their weekly TV show October 2nd, but I also plan to start doing tri-weekly anime reviews for the simulcasted shows, so that being 4 videos a season for Episodes 1-3, 4-6, 7-9, and 10-12 (or 13).

That might be it for now, only because of a few issues that currently prevent me from doing much else. As it stands, I work 4 days a week from 10-8, which severely limits my time recording on weeknights, especially when there’s a chance I can come home from that shift and have zero desire to do anything. Also, my apartment is currently dealing with all the balconies being reconstructed, so even on my days off, the potential of recording audio/video during the day is completely reliant on whether or not rain keeps the loud machinery noise away. So for the time being, I’m biding my time until I have full reign of my free time during the days I’m not working.

Now you’d think this would mean I might start more writing again, and while I won’t flat out say no to this, I would still say to expect a lot more podcast-level content here than anything else. I’ve learned that I straight up have zero desire to write articles at home, so this basically means that my writing is limited to dead days at work like this. So unfortunately, unless the evening parts of my shifts are always dead, the chances of a sudden influx of writing content here are still relatively low.

Regardless, it’s nice to write something once in a while here. In March I said it was weird making videos again, now as I’m writing this out, it’s the polar opposite. Weird how half a year can change so much, eh?

It’s Weird Doing Videos Again

I’m a month into my new apartment, a couple weeks into being back in the saddle of making videos on YouTube again. I’m back to doing a weekly show in the Saturday Morning Soapbox, I’ve now done my first standalone video since getting back, so it’s safe to say I’m back in the swing of things.

And I gotta tell ya, it’s weird, man…

I mentioned it in my return video and probably on the Soapbox as well, but making YouTube videos again feels kind of nostalgic in a way. Since so many of the things that are now in my new apartment were in a storage locker for two years, having them all back in one place made the apartment feels less new and more familiar. I’m back to sitting in the same spot on the couch with my big screen TV facing the same way, for example.

The same goes for my YouTube videos. Same desk I used to sit my laptop on, same microphone, same webcam, same DXRacer chair that in retrospect, I maybe shouldn’t have spent so much damn money on, but fuck it, I love that freaking chair! The first time I sat in that chair and started recording that “I’m Back!” video, it really felt like the two years that had passed almost never existed. It felt like I was back in the house I used to live in when I was still recording videos and that wave of nostalgia just flooded me. It’s why it feels so strange to say it’s only been a month since I moved into my new place. It honestly feels so much longer than that.

The real challenge for me now is making sure I don’t get too attached to just making videos that I forget to give you guys stuff to read here as well. Obviously I post all my videos here, but I don’t want it to be the only things that get posted here. Granted, most of my posts here come from very quiet hours during work where there’s not much going on. I’ve honestly tried recently to write at home and it’s damn near impossible, I’m too easily distracted by the mounds of game consoles, anime, TV shows, music and so many other things I want to do while at home.

Also, finding subjects to write about is becoming increasingly difficult because of the Soapbox. A lot of the things I’m talking about on that podcast are essentially mini-articles that I could’ve written here. So it’s almost a matter of there needing to be an excess of stories I want to talk about that I can’t fit into an hour-long podcast and would have to write a post about.

But I think in the end, what’s important is that I’m finally back to where I’ve been wanting to be since I had to leave the house I was in, when I was lasting recording YouTube videos. When I make a video, I want to make it. When I write something on the blog, I want to write it. I’m not forcing myself to do anything, I’m not freaking out cause I’m going to miss a deadline that I shouldn’t have set up for myself in the first place, I’m just producing content when I want to, about things I want to talk about. And that’s a plus for you guys as much as it’s a plus for me. You’re getting the passion from me, not a brief post that’s just trying to put something out there into the ether.

So in advance, I will apologize if there’s a lack of written content on the blog for a little while. I’m not avoiding it, I’m just trying to figure out how to do both the blog and YouTube without having to force it. I want to have unique stuff to write about here, not just rehashing videos I’ve made. It may start moving along next week, might be next month, might be all the way to the summer, who knows. But I want to figure out how to balance this, it just a matter of trial and error before I can get to that point.

Who knows, maybe I’ll just start posting “Would I Bang This Anime Character?!” kind of stuff again.

Things I Liked In 2018

So I said recently that I hate Best of the Year kind of conversations, so in response to that, I wanted to instead do something different to cap off the end of the year. So here is a list of things from various categories that I don’t necessarily think is the best thing this year, but my favourite things from 2018.

First off, games. Or at least the few I played this year that were released in 2018.

Destiny 2: Forsaken – Even though I’m now quite possibly never going to pick the game up again, Destiny 2’s equivalent to the first game’s The Taken King did indeed become just that, an expansion that took a game I was struggling to find a desire to play and, well…make me play it a bunch again. The expansion may have had its issues with me, the biggest one being that the level cap for the raid was too high for me to really get to (I still haven’t started Last Wish, may never at this point), I still definitely enjoyed my time with the expansion, regardless of whether or not it might just be the last piece of Destiny as a whole I ever play.

Far Cry 5 – I may have enjoyed my time with “Westboro Baptist Member Murder Simulator 2018” more than I should have. In the end, it ended up being the game that I played during a heavy down period in December and just ate up hours while I was in a party with my friends just shooting the shit. Just the pure joy in running around with a dog and a cougar just mowing down waves of religious crazies with an American flag wrapped spiked baseball bat, it couldn’t have been better for me. Well…not counting the absurd ending.

MLB The Show 18 – As I wrote earlier this year in an article, I’m still truly amazed the amount of time I spent with a baseball game this year and intend to do around March when the new game comes out. It became THE podcast game for me, a game that wasn’t too demanding of my attention, but had a lot of grinding and questing I could do to fill the completionist hole in my heart, whilst also taking in a ton of audio content with the various podcasts I listen to on a regular basis.

Monster Hunter: World – I was so happy that this game ended up being more than I ever could have asked for. I took a real risk purchasing this game, as I’m not usually all that keen on games that can be quite difficult both to play and to learn. In fact, the first time I tried playing it, I ended up dropping it around Anjanath, because it was indeed too hard and all my friends were so far ahead, they weren’t really willing to help me catch up, as it would slow down their own progress. So I ended up putting it down, tried to get through Mass Effect: Andromeda (what a mistake that was) and then eventually came back. It not only became a great game for me, but quite possibly my favourite game that I played that was released this year. The game is rewarding, has a beautiful universe and has the single best cutscenes in the game. Yes, I’m talking about the Palico cooking scenes.

Red Dead Redemption 2 – I’m sure this doesn’t come as much of a surprise to people, after all it’s Game of the Year on a lot of people’s lists. Now I’m not going to sit here and tell you it’s the greatest thing from this year, but it was certainly worth the price of admission. While it starts slow and has a less than stellar path to the very end, the bulk of the game is a testament to how far we’ve come as an industry. The game is pure console polish, quite frankly one of the best made console games ever in terms of technical aspects. There’s something in this game for everyone.

Tacoma – I really enjoyed my time with their last game in Gone Home, so I was excited to finally get a chance to play their space station story. It was certainly a lot more stressful than I expected and yes, they do continue to play the lesbian angle in their games, but while a lot of anti-SJW types took the opportunity to take a shot at this game, I think they were too quick to jump at it. This game (if you want to call it that, it’s certainly up for debate) has a really intriguing story with some characters that are indeed interesting. I just wish they’d make a game where I actually see the fucking characters, what is it with all these interactive novel games that show no one’s faces?! I’m looking right at you, Firewatch.

The Jackbox Party Pack 5 – I don’t know if I’ll ever stop loving these party packs, but for a moment I wasn’t sure I’d find one that could eclipse the second and third editions. But this newest game has at the very least brought out the best game that Jackbox has ever released: Patently Stupid, a game where you draw inventions and present them Powerpoint style to your friends. That game has made me and my friends laugh hard than we ever have before.

Second up, is anime. And no, anime boobs and butts do not count as single items, as much as I want them to.

Amanchu! Advance – Very few shows this year that I watched a second or third season of this year really carried the same level of quality or more than the previous season. Amanchu’s second season really gave me a double dose of the comedy, drama and overwhelmingly ridiculous facial expressions that I loved the first time around. Add another great character in Kokoro, and the show got much better.

A Place Further Than The Universe – I don’t watch a lot of shows that I know will make me emotional, I try to stay away from those. But Yorimoi had that charm that I couldn’t ignore, even with the full knowledge that the show was going to do everything in its power to make me cry. And it pretty much succeeded towards the very end when one character ultimately finds something belonging to their mother in Antarctica where she died. It was a moment that took a long time to get to and carried the emotional weight all the way through. So many shows try to get you tearing up early, this one bided its time and succeeded.

Chio’s School Road – During a year where there just weren’t shows that were just plain ol’ funny, this show came out of nowhere with its absurd, Azumanga Daioh level humour, just killing my insides from excessive laughter and hurting my cheeks from too much grinning. Take into account that quite possibly my favourite moment all year in the Mananachio dance took place in this show, it’s hard not to say good things about it.

Comic Girls – This show was exactly what I needed when it came around. A good ol’ slice of life with cute girls, doing cute things and making me smile way too goddamn much. Couple that with Fuura-sensei, my favourite female character all year and you’ve got a show that (at least until Episode 11) was capable of pulling me out of the most depressing times I experienced during that season.

Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai – Having literally just finished this show the day before I’m writing this out, I still can’t believe that when I started watching this show, I got a Monogatari level show instead of the harem anime I was expecting, not that I would’ve minded. But instead I got another show that eventually made me tear up, a show that really resonated with me on several occasions, taking normal high school problems and making them into something supernatural. Mystery with relatability, it worked phenomenally well.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime – I’m a sucker for isekai anime, I really am. No show did it better this year than Tensura and it’s still going on as we speak, another 12 episodes to go through the winter to watch. It’s truly amazing thinking that a show that technically has zero human characters has been such a treat to watch, filled to the brim with great characters and a story that is easy to follow and yet still rewarding. Just can’t get over the Shizu angle though, that was tough.

Yuru Camp – I don’t know if a show has made me smile and relax me as much as this show did. Flying Witch is pretty damn close, maybe these two shows are at equal footing, but Yuru Camp certainly has the recency effect going on here. If there was ever an anime I could suggest to you as your meditation anime, a show that will soothe your heart and soul, this is the one. Girls camping and smiling all the way through. It just warms you up.

Yuuna and the Haunted Hot Springs – I’m a sucker for a good ol’ traditional harem anime. It’s pretty hard to find a good harem though, so many try, but so many fail from being a little too shallow, or trying a little too hard to be serious so they don’t piss off all the sensible people. This show gave zero fucks, it knew it wanted to be a silly harem anime and it went and did just that. You gotta give them props for sticking to their guns and not trying to haphazardly throw in more serious stuff to make them seem more legit, nope! Just over-the-top ecchi and comedy, nothing more, nothing less.

Next we’ve got films. And yes, there’s a bit of a pattern with the majority of them being Marvel films. I don’t hide my biases very well, you see.

Ant-Man and the Wasp – Can never go wrong with a decent action comedy in the MCU. Loved the first Ant-Man, enjoyed this one even more. More characters, higher stakes, a villain I actually took an interest in, and a giant Hello Kitty Pez dispenser. What else can you really ask for? Oh yeah, I suppose a massive post-credits scene works.

Avengers: Infinity War – I don’t think I truly understood how much this film actually meant until it was over. A culmination of over a decade of films I’ve taken the time to see and have fond memories of, and now it’s about to come to a close (well, for a number of characters). Sure, this is only the halfway mark, but man oh man did this film end on a note that had me truly realize that this wasn’t going to be a nice ride into the sunset, oh no, this was going to be an emotional roller coaster. So yeah, still impatiently waiting for the finale.

Black Panther – Admittedly, the sheer amount of bickering back and forth between the SJW and anti-SJW crowds really made it hard for me to get into this movie before actually seeing it. While I feel it’s a joke that this film is the top of Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic when it comes to Marvel films (cause y’know, politics), it’s still a great film that I had a lot of fun with at the time of watching it. It certainly gave me a villain I loved, a really strong supporting cast and some awesome sci-fi battles. It’s just a shame that politics and societal views had to skew my feelings about the film as a whole.

Bohemian Rhapsody – I really wasn’t sure what to think about a film designed to be a biopic about Queen, hell, any big rock band for that matter. I mean sure, there’s a lot of road stories and such that could be used, but would the care be there, or would it just be a cash grab? In the case of Bohemian Rhapsody, the care was certainly there. It wasn’t a movie that tried to bash you over the head with Freddie being gay, it wasn’t a movie focusing on his battle with AIDS, it was a movie about Queen as a whole. And I mean come on, that Live Aid scene was one of the coolest things I’ve watched in a long time.

Deadpool 2 – Between my friends, it’s a tough topic, because I vehemently state over and over that the second Deadpool is the funnier film and I stand by that. Is it better than the first? No, it suffers from weak villains and a meh story. But it’s a fucking Deadpool movie, so I wasn’t there for that. It was a constant gut-busting laughfest, full of offensive jokes, references, bathroom humor and constant fourth-wall breaking and pulling the rug out from under you. That’s what I watch Deadpool for and it gave that to me in spades.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor? – It’s funny because I never really watched Mister Rogers growing up. But this was a documentary I needed to see, as my interest in what made this man do the show for as long as he did, when most children’s shows are lucky to last 5 years, I needed to know. And I got beyond and then some of information on the show and the man, Fred Rogers. I had no idea the level care, love and dedication he put into that show, how he so delicately took real life subjects, serious ones, like Robert Kennedy’s assassination and was able to communicate these issues to children in a way that could be understood, it was absolutely incredible to me. I could suggest all the fun Marvel films I liked this year, but to be completely honest, if there’s one thing from this year I’d want you all to watch, it’s this documentary. Seriously, you won’t regret it.

Now I planned on doing a section on music, but after thinking about it for a while, I honestly can’t really do this topic justice. I don’t really adopt new acts to a massive degree anymore, as BABYMETAL is really the last act to get my attention to the point of listening to everything they have. Album-wise, I don’t really listen to full albums anymore, I just pick and choose songs that I enjoy while skimming on Spotify. And concert-wise? Well…I didn’t see any this year. So I really don’t have anything to give a massive thumbs up to this year. So instead, I’ll just give you a list of bands/artists that I listened to the most this year:

  • BABYMETAL
  • ClariS
  • Fozzy
  • GameChops (a collection of artists who do EDM covers of game music)
  • LEDGER
  • MAN WITH A MISSION
  • meganeko
  • MYTH & ROID
  • THE ORAL CIGARETTES
  • Periphery
  • PVRIS
  • Saint Asonia
  • Twelve Foot Ninja

Side note…what the fuck is it with Japan and having so many acts named in all caps?!

And lastly, just a list of things that happened in general that I felt was really cool, whether I’ve mentioned it here or not yet. This is anything and everything, whether news stories, events, or things I did in general.


Alex Ovechkin Hoisting the Stanley Cup – I’m Canadian, so I’m a hockey fan by law. I love great hockey stories and you’ll always find them in the Stanley Cup playoffs. I’m a Toronto Maple Leafs fan, but there’s always stories outside of that bubble I’m paying attention to. The biggest one for years was the Alex Ovechkin/Sidney Crosby debate. I couldn’t stand listening to my friends tell me Crosby was automatically the best because of championships (cause y’know, it’s a TEAM sport), but with Ovechkin not winning one of his own, what argument did I have? So for the 2018 Stanley Cup to go to the Washington Capitals, it was a hell of an emotional moment to see Ovechkin scream at the top of his lungs as he finally achieved the one goal he fought so hard every year for. It certainly helped that the music playing in the background was timed so perfectly. God damn I still get emotional watching that clip.

ConBravo! – A local anime/gaming convention I go to every year. This year marked my 5th year going and my 4th year participating in panels at the convention. I tend to run general discussions panels, getting to do a 2018 gaming panel with my friends and this year we also got to do our first pro wrestling panel, which was awesome, but a shame cause while there seemed to be a lot of interest, few people actually showed up, so we’ll likely never get to do that again (oh well, I got t-shirts for the memories!!!). But the biggest thing was running my yearly anime discussion panel, getting to do it with YouTubers Glass Reflection and Anime Uproar. Had a blast talking about anime with them and the fans who showed up, especially when I got to have a massive high-five moment with a fellow Isekai no Smartphone fan before the big YouTubers themselves shamed me off the panel (for 30 seconds). Might just be my favourite moment in a panel I’ve run at conventions.

Softball – This one was a hell of a moment for me this year. I’ve played regularly every year for the last 4 years, rec league softball. I’m usually on teams that are really bad, but I still have fun. This year was no different, I played on a team with co-workers and we finished the season 4-13. So when it came to the end of the season tournament, we were obviously in the last place seed and expected to lose pretty quickly. Except a funny thing happened, we won our first game to determine where we sat in the bracket, so we didn’t immediately play the best team at the start. Either way, we all looked at the bracket and realized that in order to win the championship, we had to beat in succession the three teams we’d never beaten all year.

The first team we’d always lose to, but it was close. And that game was an epic back and forth. We won the game by one run, awesome. Admittedly, I was disappointed, I wanted to lose so we could go home earlier, as the tournament started at 8:30 in the morning and it was a cold, rainy day. But we were in the thick of it now. The next team we played was the best team in the league, we never came close to beating them. So imagine our shock when we won by 7 runs. We’d never lost to them by less than 5 runs, and we just beat them by 7. Holy shit, we were in the finals. A 4-13 team in the finals?! Insane!

Now this had happened to me before, I played in a different league, our team went basically .500, winning half, losing half. We beat a team we normally lost to and got into the finals, but then we got smacked hard and lost. But there was an upside for us in this tournament final, since we went through the entire bracket undefeated (somehow), we had to lose to this final team twice in order to lose the championship. This team, like the previous one, we’d never come close to, they had guys who were way too good for this league, hitting home runs over the fence with ease. But I guess a mixture of fatigue and the weather had bummed them out, seemed they wanted to go home really bad, but we were so focused on going all the way now since we’d come this far, we were playing for keeps. And it was back and forth, back and forth until the final inning where we put together 6 runs and went up by five. As each out came, I kept thinking “All right, how do we fuck this up?”. But it never happened. No runs, no worries, we got three straight outs and we won the fucking championship.

If there is anything that meant more to me this year, it was this moment. The flood of childhood happiness that came out of me, man. I hadn’t won a championship in anything since I was 10 playing baseball in my small, countryside village. 20 years later, I’m holding a trophy again. It’s a weird feeling. But that weirdness went away pretty damn quick!

Steve Dangle Podcast LIVE – Like I said earlier, I’m a big hockey fan and a group on YouTube are my go-to for hockey-related stuff. Fronted by personality Steve Dangle, along with Adam Wylde and Jesse Blake, the Steve Dangle Podcast did a rare live event in a bar near the arena where a Toronto Maple Leafs game would be playing, so they did a show before the game and then it was party time while the game was going on. The show was fun, but meeting the gang in person was such a cool moment for me, as Steve specifically has been a major inspiration in keeping me going as an internet personality. And the Leafs won too, so that was an added bonus!

Thailand Cave Rescue – That was just the ultimate feel-good story for me. Something that you just assumed was going to end horribly, ended basically as positively as it could, minus the one rescuer who died during the process. But for everyone who was trapped in that cave to survive was an absolute miracle, quite possibly THE miracle this year. Was such a smile-inducing moment when it came to a close.

Tide Pods – I got way too much joy out of this entire ridiculousness. The memes, the “Don’t do this!” commercials, the sheer amount of videos and news stories about it, that stretch of time where you couldn’t stop hearing stories about the newfound laundry candy, I was on cloud fucking nine, dying of laughter. It was just so dumb…

Video Games Live! – So I kinda lied about not going to any concerts this year, because I totally forgot about this until going through my Facebook posts this year. What an incredible show that was, I’d never gotten a chance to see this show before and boy oh boy did I have a blast. At first, I thought it was going to be a meh show as a lot of stuff was either old games or newer stuff like Overwatch and WoW expansions that I really didn’t care much for. Then they broke out Kingdom Hearts with “Dearly Beloved” and then followed it up with Chrono Cross’ “Time’s Scar”. Those 6-8 minutes were perhaps the most blissful minutes all year for me, I’ve never felt so relaxed and happy. Then finishing it off with the Pokemon anime intro with Jason Paige (the original theme’s vocalist) was the best way to cap off what ended up being a great show.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that’s all I can think of from this year! At least that I can remember, I really need to start archiving things more so I don’t have to rely on my shit memory.

So what were some cool things that you enjoyed this year? Let me know in the comments below!

I Hate ______ of the Year Conversations

So 2018 is about to come to a close and you know what that means. That’s right, time for every website, journalist and Twitter user who thinks they’re important to come out of the woodwork and tell you what the best thing was this year. Could be video games, music albums, films, anime, sports moment, novelty convenience store food item, it’s all there and they want you to know what was the best thing from that category.

Me? I’m in a different boat. My idea has always been to talk about what was good, not what was the best. I mean really, what the fuck do I know about what video game for example was the best game all year? I have friends who certainly have the desire to make their own cases, but let’s really be honest here, how am I, a guy who only plays PS4 games know what the best game was this year? I don’t play PC games, I don’t own a Switch or Xbox One, I don’t play handheld games, mobile games, or anything of the sort. Not to mention, I barely played a good chunk of the “best” that the PlayStation 4 had to offer this year, including games like Spiderman and the Game Awards GOTY, God of War.

It’s always the same every year. So many websites try to tell me what the best thing is, my friends will get together at the bar and have arguments over what the best thing was and of course I “have to have an opinion” on these things, otherwise I’m just weird. But in the end, the idea to me of having an opinion on what I thought was the “Game of the Year” for example, it’s just silly. I don’t have the time, nor the funds to play the amount of games I’d need to play in order to have some sort of idea of what the “best game” could be.

Even then, it’s all still subjective. The Game Awards gave God of War the GOTY treatment this year, yet I haven’t played it, nor will I ever, as I didn’t like the series at all previous to this iteration. It’s why I don’t care about award shows in general, they’re not the “CSRadical Awards”, they’re instead award shows done by a collective group of people who tend to have far different tastes than myself. I don’t give a shit about The Shape of Water, but that won Best Picture in 2018. I don’t listen to Bruno Mars, but he cleaned house at the Grammys this year. At the end of the day, the major award shows are more or less just industry circle jerking and has nothing to do with my specific interests in whatever industry I’m talking about.

So in the end, I try to change the context of these conversations when they come at the bar, or at parties. I’m not interested in talking about what the best game was this year, I want to talk about the games I enjoyed the most this year. So look forward to a post of some sort either at the end of the year, or in early January, where I just talk about my favourite things from 2018, not “the best”.

Also, this conversation extends to “greatest of all time” conversations. Comparing things from different years, decades, or even eras? That’s just idiotic!

But Michael Jordan is better than Lebron James.

The Evolution Of My Bisexuality

It’s funny how things work sometimes. I was bored on Sunday night and I was looking through some of my old articles, because I had the thought that I hadn’t written a blog post aside from the anime weeklies in quite some time. Now I’ve been okay with this, as the transition back to YouTube has been successful thus far, I’ve been able to keep a decent flow of content coming. But my opinions really started flowing here on the blog, so once in a while I’d like to keep things running here.

So as I was browsing my old content, I came across this lovely article I wrote a full year ago (April 14th, 2017). It was an article that was long overdue for me in writing, being able to get something that at the time was new to me, something I wasn’t openly talking about so much. And that’d be my recent transition from a heterosexual male to a bisexual male.

If you’re curious about the original article, you can read it here.

A year later, if I was to tell you a lot changed, I’d be lying. My relationship has not changed one bit since writing that article. I’m still with my girlfriend and we’ve now reached 10 years together, a milestone that’s only serving to make my parents ask me more often when my girlfriend and I are getting married and having children, in which case I tune out, as neither are really in my peripheral vision at the moment and may never will. My 100% assurity of the fact that I do indeed have a sexual interest in the same-sex is definitely there and I know now that it will not fade away like it’s some phase. I am 100% bisexual through and through, it just appears that with my current life trajectory that I will never experience the “other side”.

This is where the majority of this post will be about. I’ve already told my story leading up to the moments where I accepted the evolution of my sexual interests. Now, it’s time to explore the realities of things, the fact that there are multiple reasons why I likely won’t ever see that other side of the sexual market, so to speak.

I’ve said it in the previous article on this topic and it still hasn’t changed much since then. I mentioned in that post that I know no one in real life who is male and I have a sexual attraction to. Though I will admit it’s easy to understand how this is the case. Given the body type and age range I appear to have that sexual interest in when it comes to men, I’m not exactly in the prime location to meet and hang around these kinds of guys. For starters, the guys I tend to have an interest in are very athletic (shocking, I know…) and while I do play recreational co-ed sports, I end up finding attractive girls in say a soccer league, whereas there aren’t really guys that grab my attention at all. I’m not a gym guy, so there’s another major location out of the way. I’ve tried the whole gym experience, I just think that for me, exercise is something I’d rather do either alone, or among friends. Lastly, I am 100% not into the club scene, so that is a major, MAJOR handicap I’m giving myself.

The other and more obvious problem I will inevitably have when it comes to exploring my bisexuality is the age gap that is ever-growing between me and the guys I appear to be into. As of right now, as a guy new to his 30s this year, the number of guys that look the way I’m attracted to begin to be less and less interested in me, based on my age. I would hazard a guess that the top echelon of guys I’m interested in right now fall into the 18-30 range and obviously as I get older, the odds of someone of that age range being interested in me continues to fall.

But most of all, and this is where I get most critical of myself, is just that I’m honestly not attractive enough to grab the attention of any of these guys that I’m interested in. I’m not gonna sit here and tell you I’m an ugly fuck, but I know that at best, I’m average and that’s about it. Admittedly, it’s been this acceptance that’s got me fired up about trying to take better care of my body. I’m hoping once I’m have my own living space again (and especially fridge space, because where I am right now, there’s literally none), I’ll eat better, exercise far more, all that jazz in the hopes of at the very least cutting the winter belly fat I’ve built up from being mostly indoors being lazy. After that, I can work on maybe putting some actual muscle on my body for the first time ever, as I’ve always been a thin guy.

At the very least, the past few years have really given me a chance to actually give an iota of shit about how I look. I’m certainly more aware of things like how my hair looks at any given moment, the kind of clothes I’m wearing for a certain occasion (normally I’d just wear an Iron Maiden t-shirt and jeans to everything), hell I’ve become a picky son of a bitch when it comes to underwear nowadays. And yes, that includes deciding when to wear boxers, or go all the way down to briefs. Hell, here’s another old article if you wanna check that out, click here, this one being a two-year old classic on another transition I went through, from plain ol’ boxers, to much more vibrant underwear.

A year ago, I made a post describing my initial journey into this newfound land I had no idea was as enticing as it was. A year later, I wouldn’t say a whole lot has changed since then. In terms of anime art, my preferences haven’t expanded at all, it’s pretty much the same stuff I’m paying attention to. In terms of real guys, I’ve certainly found more images online that have piqued my interest, but like I said earlier, finding such guys in real life has not been as easy.

I’m pretty much aware at this point that the kind of guys I’d be interested in are simply too high a bar for me to reach. I’ve said this to friends before, but I think this is the first time I’m saying this on the blog: I think we are all not just bisexual, but pansexual. Here’s the catch. Let’s say you’re an average run-of-the-mill, heterosexual guy. You’ve got an endless supply of girls to choose from, but guys? Not so much. You may think you have zero interest, but let’s be honest, if you had zero interest, you’d struggle to watch porn where you’re looking at a guy’s junk and ass.

So let’s take me for example. On the classic 1-10 scale, I personally view myself as a 5 and that might be generous given my winter belly fat now. From a heterosexual point of view, I’d reckon that I’d have an interest into girls that range from a 4 and up. Though like most people, when it comes to 4s, 5s and 6s, they have to fall into certain parameters. In my case, yes, it does have to do with the body type, race, the kind of clothes they wear, the hairstyle they have, things like that.

Now let’s take guys for a spin. If I was to guess the number for a guy to be considered “attractive” to my eyes, I think at the very least, they’d have to be an 8. And there’s that catch I was talking about earlier. If I’m into guys who are minimum an 8/10 and yet I’m a 5/10, that severely limits my options, doesn’t it? I mean if I was an 8, would I be interested in a 5, when I could just as easily have anything above a 7? It’s tough to say, but I have to assume that most people that high would not go that far down the range for a little tail. Thus my feelings on how it’s very likely I won’t ever experience that “other side”. Hell, this would even go for the transgender side of things, where that number is even higher, as I can count the number of transgender folk I have come across online that I would absolutely be interested in a night of fun with, I can count them on one hand.

I believe we all have an interest in every kind of person out there, hell even aliens we don’t even know exist. The only catch is that for some of these people, the number is unobtainable. There’s a heterosexual guy who’d be into having sex with a guy, but he’s never going to meet a 10/10 guy who’d be interested in him, hell that number may even be an 11, a level of attractiveness that can only be reached through fiction like anime, or through technology that we just don’t have yet. It’s how I started after all, I started finding attractive anime guys, where the levels range above 10, some I could say are in the 20s. And yes, I’m aware of how much sense this doesn’t make.

The difference is that some of us are able to slowly lower that bar, in the way that I started with anime guys and eventually opened up to the idea of something more than that, something real, something obtainable. I may not ever be able to touch that (both figuratively and certainly literally…), but I’ve opened up to the possibilities, and have accepted that there is more out there than just abiding by the status quo.

We’re not held down by what we consider to be traditional. We also don’t need to follow in the usual steps of people who are making that transition into being something other than your standard heterosexual human being. You don’t have to be flamboyant, you don’t have to be butch. You don’t have to like certain colours, hell you don’t even have to talk about wanting to suck a dick or eat some pussy. I’ve said it before, but I don’t think your sexuality really has much bearing on the kind of person you are. So don’t let your sexuality define what you have to be, how you dress, how you speak, how you act. Just be you, whatever “you” is.

And if that you also happens to think that the possibility of Ganondorf from the Zelda series being attractive as a younger, smaller male is a thing, then go for it! I know I did…

[QUICKIE] “10 Ways I Can Actively Reject My White Privilege”?!

Was browsing around Twitter and I came across this lovely photo. So let’s tackle it, shall we?

1. Take up minimal space during anti-racism dialogues and protests.

If you mean physical space, that’s a given. But if you’re talking in terms of “shut the fuck up when we’re telling you about your privilege”, uhhh…no. I’m also anti-racism, but it appears that people have a hard time believing that I as a white male could be as such. And even if I was, I’d still have to keep my mouth shut, because y’know…privilege.

2. Stop contributing to gentrification and calling it “urban development”.

Gentrification is defined as “the process of renovating and improving a house or district so that it conforms to middle-class taste”. So basically you’re saying stop making shitty places look better? Um…even though I don’t partake in gentrification…no. Because I’m a clean freak and I don’t like shitty looking things.

Now if we’re talking taking an already fine area and making it better just so real estate prices can go up and I can make a few more dollars, then I am on the same page with you. Because that is some real bullshit and it goes on where I live. There are less and less places for people to live who don’t make $50,000 a year and up. That is absolute bullshit.

3. Listen when people call you on your microaggressions.

Stop using that term, along with “mansplaining” and other bullshit. It’s old, no one cares anymore. And by the way, I won’t listen when someone just starting screaming at me because of the colour of my skin and the gender I am. That sounds sexist/racist.

4. Never invite people of colour to the table for the sake of claiming diversity.

So then…what’s affirmative action?

5. Refrain from using your non-white friends as your “urban dictionary”.

What kind of people are you hanging out with? Because I have friends of different races, genders, religions, cultures, etc., and they all talk with the same vocabulary as the rest of us.

6. Stop lifting up non-confrontational people of colour as examples of what POC activism should be.

As soon as major news outlets finally start saying that damaging property, assaulting innocent civilians and being all-around shitty people to those who have nothing to do with what the protests are about, sure I’ll stop.

But until then, I will continue to act on the basis that you defeat bad ideas with more speech, not hatred and calls for violence.

7. Call your friends, family and co-workers out on racism, even if a POC isn’t in the room.

I already do that, as should everyone else. That’s the first good thing on this list so far. But then again, what does this have to do with my privilege? Shouldn’t this be something we all do, regardless of the colour of our skin?

8. Understand that all anti-racism work doesn’t look the same and advocate accordingly.

Again, I do that. I call out the violent protesters like #BlackLivesMatter has become, as well as ANTIFA. I call out the protesters who are using false information, anecdotal evidence and downright lying in order to push their agenda. The people that have the right ideas with good intentions, they’re not the ones I’m against.

9. Realize that all discussions about race aren’t for you. And be okay with it.

It makes it sound like I attach myself to every conversation out there. I don’t get involved in anything that has nothing to do with me, it’s actually really easy to do so. But still, to take this as straight as possible, the second you say “it’s not for you”, you’re essentially outcasting me and since this whole list has to do with me being white, that in turn has made this racist.

10. Recognize that you’re still racist. No matter what.

So let me get this straight. The person who made this says that because I am a white male, I am automatically a racist. How does that not come off as racist as well?

I am not a racist and I know I am not a racist. I don’t need to explain why, nor should I have to. To call me racist, you have to give proof that I am, not the other way around. We need to stop pushing this narrative that white people are racist and you cannot be racist to white people. Racism has nothing to do with power, it is simply the act of doing something bad to another person on the basis of their race. It is a colorblind definition, plain and simple.


So that was fun, glad I got that off my chest. I went into this knowing that it was going to be silly, after all anytime the words “white privilege” are used in a sentence, I pretty much go in with the assumption that I’m about to read some pretty racist shit.

This fight has gotten so comical, my body is hurting internally from laughing. Everything is racist now, everything is sexist, everything is something negative. We have no outlook on the positives anymore, we apparently only get by through getting people upset about stuff. We don’t need to rally against something all the time, we actually can enjoy our time on this planet once in a while by just thinking “You know what? It’s not that bad here.”, which by the way…IT’S NOT THAT BAD HERE!!!

I’d certainly take this bullshit over living in North Korea.

[VIDEO] Rotten Tomatoes To Silence “Racist” Negative Reviews of Black Panther?

When the possibility of a few losers who want to post negative review fan scores online for a “black superhero film” is looming, what’s the smart thing to do? That’s right, absolutely nothing. But Rotten Tomatoes would rather make a stink about it and call anyone who potentially doesn’t give Black Panther a shining rating, a racist.

Gonna Be A Little Less Wordy And A Lot More Yelly

This one’s pretty straight-forward. I’m at work currently typing this out cause I’m bored as hell and I don’t want to do this when I get home.

The amount of articles I write are going to go down, in the sense of that apart from the weekly anime episodic reviews I do, I may not actually write any other articles at all on here. This isn’t because I’m not wanting to post more content, rather I want to change up how I create content again.

Ever since I kicked off Episode 1 of my Destiny community’s podcast (Episode 2 will be livestreaming on YouTube tomorrow night), I’ve started leaning back to YouTube as a way to create content. Obviously that also went hand-in-hand with the season end reviews and awards that I also did on YouTube, via their Google Hangouts On Air tool. I’m finding this route to be a lot easier for me, it allows me to just sit down and vent, whereas typing (especially when it’s a much longer article) puts a strain on my wrists, which apparently don’t like going for more than 500 words, the lazy bastards. But by recording audio via YouTube, the worst I gotta worry about is needing a drink of water and at the same time I can have it recorded and uploaded a lot faster than it would take me to type out a more intensive article. This one’s easy as shit, but other things I’ve written took me hours to complete, especially my more thought-provoking ones.

Along with the ease of recording, I’ve just found less and less drive to write random articles when I’m getting my message across almost as well and a hell of a lot quickly via social media, like my Gab.ai account is thriving on right now. Not to mention, coupling that with watching 10+ anime shows a week and still being super into video games, pro wrestling and having a social life again, my time is lessening for sitting down and spending 2-3 hours writing an article about anime boobs, as much as I enjoy writing them of course.

So this isn’t “I’m not making content” anymore, just expect to see a lot more in video form now. I’ve got a few ideas, just need the time to actually record and in some cases, do a little editing.

So stay tuned and I hope you guys enjoy the new content I start throwing out!

10 Questions “Feminists Should Ask Me On A First Date”

Sometimes there are things you can’t resist, no matter how much you know you should stay away from it. I’m (if you haven’t figured it out already) not quite the most “politically correct” individual, I view myself as a “centrist”, a believer in the facts, not your feelings.

So when I came across a lovely post that a (clearly proud) feminist put up for all those to enjoy: A list of 10 questions every feminist should be asking someone on a first date. I assume this is so they find out if the person they’re having this date with is someone willing to bow down and do whatever she says, believes what she believes and repeats everything she says to those who oppose her. Y’know, white knights and all that shit.

So anyways, let’s get this train wreck a’ rollin!

1. Do you believe that Black Lives Matter?

I believe that all lives matter, but of course, any sane, moral and reasonable person believes that yes, black lives do matter. However, when I see the capitalization, I know what the message truly is. It’s not if I believe “black lives matter” but if I believe in the “Black Lives Matter” movement. That being the case, then my thoughts are significantly different.

The #BlackLivesMatter movement in its early beginnings was like many other movements. It had potential, it had good intentions and carried a message that at first was a very good one. However as most racially-driven movements become, over time either the wrong people were put in charge, or they put themselves in charge and the message began to change. At this current time, I do not view the #BLM movement as one of racial equality, peace and morality, rather it is a movement based on hatred, violence and yes, racism.

2. What are your thoughts on gender and sexual orientation?

I don’t have thoughts about something that isn’t of importance in life. I’ve said it before, I do not believe your gender, nor your sexuality has any bearing on who you are as a person. As a bisexual male who recently “discovered” this part of myself, my personality has not changed in the slightest, I am who I am based on things other than my male genes and my interest in having sex with both men and women.

However, if you really want to put the gun to my head, I’ll make it simple. I believe in absolute equality for all biological genders and all sexual orientations (so long as you’re not touching kids), no questions asked.

3. How do you work to dismantle sexism and misogyny in your life?

By not being sexist or misogynistic in my daily life. It’s not that hard.

Oh and me liking video games and anime where boobs and butts are things that exist and shown off, that doesn’t make me a sexist misogynist pig. Grow up.

4. What are your thoughts on sex work?

Oldest profession and an honourable one at that, despite what many people say on both sides. I believe it’s a trade that we need to take more seriously, be more open about and quite honestly stop looking at in such a vulgar, disgusting manner. If there are men and women who want to sell their bodies in a sexual manner and there is a market for them, who are we to stop them. So long as we can regulate the sex industry so that every worker within it is working safely, I see zero issue with sex work, such as prostitution.

5. Are you a supporter of the BDS movement?

I had to research this one, it appears to be about putting pressure on Israel to overturn it’s various violations of international law in terms of returning the Palestinian land it’s occupied and creating full equality for Arab-Palestinians and such.

I have no real opinion on this issue, other than the simple fact I believe in full equality for all. So get on that shit, Israel.

6. What is your understanding of settler colonialism and indigenous rights?

I don’t believe creating “foreign” regions is an intelligent idea. Any immigrants/refugees entering a country should be coming into said country with the understanding that there is an expectation that if they want to live in that country or take refuge in that country, they must adapt to the country in all walks of life, whether that’s learning the language, abiding by all the country’s laws and quite frankly, making a conceded effort to just fit in. Yes, it’s also on us to make our country welcome to outsiders. But with what I’ve seen of such examples of these “colonies” like in Sweden, it’s not working out at all.

7. Do you think capitalism is exploitative?

Everything can be exploited. It’s just that capitalism is certainly better than communism.

8. Can any human be illegal?

I’m assuming this pertains to immigration, to which the answer is yes. If you come into a country you are not a citizen of and you enter illegally, guess what? YOU’RE AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT!!!

It’s not that hard, folks.

9. Do you support Muslim Americans and non-Muslim people from Islamic countries?

I support anyone and everyone from any country, any nation. But like I said in Question #6, so long as you abide by the law and make an effort to “fit in”, you’ll be fine.

However, it’s not Islamophobic to call members of Islamic culture out for partaking in some extremely disgusting behavior, whether it’s via their religion, or their own personal beliefs.

10. Does your allyship include disabled folks?

I don’t view people as “allies”, that makes me believe I look at a group of people as those I can use to further push my political agenda. I will once again refer to something I’ve said several times in this article:

I BELIEVE IN EQUALITY FOR ALL!!!

Is that good enough for ya?

…Well I guess that fictional date is probably over. And by probably, I mean 110% over. That feminist would’ve left halfway into question #2.

Twitter’s Boring…

I’ve been on Twitter for years now, getting very close to hitting 10,000 tweets, all that jazz. It’s felt like a home for me for quite some time, a place where I could vent, share stories, post anime bullshit. Y’know, the important things.

But here I am with Twitter becoming a place full of politically correct drivel, censorship up the ass, not to mention a looming “Twitter Purge” apparently been imminent. That aside, it’s become a place this year where I’ve made zero ground, my follower count has stayed between 100-110 essentially all year, I rarely get any responses from anyone, whether following me or not, the social media site altogether is becoming more of a place where I’m just talking to a brick wall.

In comes Gab, a similar website that’s making ground, taking folks who are sick of Twitter. They’re currently sitting above 200,000+ users and will certainly be growing if the Twitter purge is actually a thing. The site’s still a little rough around the edges, but given me current disdain for Twitter, what’s happening for me on Gab is really opening my eyes a bit.

First, I’m already a third the way from equally the same number of followers on Gab as I have on Twitter. In a week. A week. Yes, I imagine this is due to there not being as much traffic on Gab, so it’s easier not to get lost in the shuffle, but come on, how should I not be happy and excited when I’m making progress that I can visually see with my own damn eyes?!

Second, people actually fucking speak to you! In the last month on Twitter, two unique users have replied to anything I’ve posted, not likes or retweets, actual responses. On Gab in this first week, it’s a lot more than fucking two! I’m actually having conversations with people, making new friends and not listening to people defending the most ludicrous statements like why all white people just need to die, because y’know that’s not racist or anything.

And third, I feel free. I feel like I can talk about anything and not get potentially banned because I said I don’t think we need blatant LGBT representation in works of media. I feel like I can be myself and while I still do that on Twitter, I don’t feel like being myself is a bad thing in the eyes of Gab, while on Twitter, I think that based on my thoughts and ideas, Twitter looks at me like I’m literally Hitler.

So if you’re sick of Twitter as well, or maybe you’re just looking for a different touch of scenery, I implore you to check out Gab.

And naturally, follow me as well! – https://gab.ai/CSRadical