This is where I turn into a giant hipster (AMAs)

I mean look, I’m trying my ass off here not to judge people when it comes to the artists and groups that get nominated and then win the awards features at the Billboard American Music Awards.

But it’s really hard.

It’s so hard not to judge from an award show that is entirely based on who sold records for the industry this year (aka “fan voting”). It’s not a true fan vote, the nominees are chosen basically based on sales and social media presence, which will always be the overplayed artists and songs that anyone outside of the mainstream music scene wants to cut themselves over every time they hear.

I haven’t listened to FM radio (by choice) since I was in high school. I’m 27 now. Almost every FM station today is a two-hour (if you’re lucky) loop of the same songs and artists with a few random ones thrown in. I get the argument that they play the hits almost every hour so everyone has a chance to hear it that day. But y’know we have phones that can play whatever song we want now, right?

It’s baffling to me how people get so sucked into this shit. It only proves just how much of the current day society are simply sheep. They just follow and do what they’re told to do, like what they’re told to like. Are all the AMA nominees and winners terrible? Kind of, yes. But I wouldn’t have a problem of them existing if it wasn’t blatantly obvious that the only reason they’re even famous in the first place is because millions upon millions of dollars got thrown behind them, turned into a rocket and shot up their asses, propelling them to the top.

I mean, if you truly like those artists and groups, then good for you. But I know that a lot of these “fans” are only in love with them because they’re exposed to them constantly and told how awesome (and hot) they are.

Register for Spotify if you haven’t already and fill up your library with stuff you like. Then click on the weekly Discover option and only click on the names you haven’t heard of on that list. You’d be surprised how many good ones there are in there. And you know for a fact you’d never give them the time of day because the radio stations and record companies don’t want you to listen to them cause they didn’t spend all the money on them.

Quit being so fucking lazy, find your own music.

More Violence Mods = Awesome – Nude Mods = OFFENSIVE!!!

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So I read Kotaku’s brief article on the discovery that there’s already a nude mod for the PC version of Fallout 4. There’s almost no writing in the article, clearly it’s meant to shame the users who created the mod and make light-hearted jokes about the mod itself.

I get it, you don’t want to post an article about one of the biggest games of the year that amounts to “Hey kids! Check out the awesome mod for Fallout 4, it’s got boobies! Boobies are rockin’, man!”. But I’m getting a little sick and tired of acting like it’s this horrifying and sickening thing when people make these mods. Actually altogether I’m a little sick and tired of people being so shocked by tits in the first place.

Once again it comes down to this super PC (that’s politically correct, not PC master race) culture that we’ve sunk into the past decade. Yet it still baffles me beyond belief that we’re more focused on saying sex is more offensive than violence. If a mod comes out where there are even more gore-crazy ways to kill raiders and mutants in the game, it’ll be advertised as something cool and badass. But no clothes on a FICTIONAL CHARACTER in a NOT REAL setting, that’s too much, right?

Am I saying nude mods are all right? Yes and no. I’m not saying it’s okay for these mods to be in ANY and EVERY game, I don’t think Barbie’s Horse Adventures is the kind of game to be modding that into. But as far as I’m concerned, any game above a T-rating I have no problem with. You’re probably saying to yourself “But Adam, nudity in games has to come with a game that’s at least M-rated, sex itself for AO-rated.” but I always bring this point up in conversations when this topic comes out. How young were you the first time you saw someone around your age naked? More often than not, whenever I ask that question to people their answers range between 13 and 17. Funny, that’s about the age range between a T-rating and a M-rating. We need to start accepting the facts that most kids are aware of sex by the age of 13 and have probably lost their virginity before the age you’re supposed to be even watching porn.

We need to stop living in this North American culture that has no problem with violence, especially the States, where fighting over the rights to own a machine gun isn’t as ridiculous as homosexual sex and women wanting the rights to go topless in public, or hell even breastfeed their child in public. Why is sex more offensive to people than violence? How is the act that gives life more offensive to people than acts that bring death?

I’ve used nude mods in games before, hell I’ve played my share of porn games. How many of us when we were younger were playing all those shitty adult flash games on Newgrounds? And I’m sure the majority of us playing those weren’t 18+. I’ve played porn/hentai games, I’ve used nude mods in games before and I’m certainly no sexual deviant, pervert, creeper, etc. I’m in a happy, healthy relationship of over 8 years now and through all of it, I’ve partaken in these apparently extremely offensive and sinful works, our relationship hasn’t changed in the slightest.

There will always be people out there that will fall into those creepy categories of people, but they are in the very distant minority. Most people that download and play this kind of content are healthy men and women that just wanna see some nicely-rendered naked male and female (once again) FICTIONAL characters in their favourite games. If you want to shame them and the mod creators, shame the same people who make these overly-gory mods as well. Those should be falling into the AO-rated category as well.

I guarantee you, if the first nude mod was male only rather than female, this wouldn’t be an issue. We only laugh at dong physics, there’s no criticism there.

But titties?! Call the ESRB! Call the FCC! Call the FBI, CIA, MI6, everyone! We have an emergency!

You can stay home, y’know…

black-friday

I’m Canadian so the whole concept of Black Friday is still new to me. Though when it’s a day littered with deals, sales, extravaganzas, I find myself linking Black Friday a lot more with crowds, fighting, even riots. Over what? A microwave, a small flat-screen TV? I’m strapped for cash too a lot of the time, you don’t see me starting fights in a store over a cheaper item.

It comes down to a number of things with people. Many are truly poor and to get something of leisure like a TV that’s decent quality for a steal of a price would be beneficial to them. I’m not surprised that those barely getting by would love to have something nice in their house for the first time in a while. The flip side though, is you get the other types of people, the super-cheap people, the ones who only buy anything if it’s at a super-discounted price. You know those people, the ones who boast about the price they haggled a store over, like it’s a trophy. Hey, props to you for doing it and succeeding, but don’t be a giant douche.

The big thing for me now with Black Friday is the advent of online shopping. If you’re not so poor you can’t afford a computer, let alone internet, there is almost no reason whatsoever to even leave your house during Black Friday now. So many stores now have online versions as well with shipping available or pickup in-store so your name is saved on it. Not to mention there are so many sites like Amazon that offer deals as well. Hell, on the 11th, AliExpress had a major sale day, threw almost $150 at that, some great deals on there (granted, they may take 2 months to arrive).

So on Black Friday, with internet becoming a constant for more and more people in North America, there’s little reason to leave your house and risk getting trampled in a Wal-Mart over a $20 microwave. This weekend, a lot of places should be advertising their Black Friday deals, including online, so start doing your homework. And when that day rolls around, just sit back and reap the rewards.

Your back (well, everything) will thank you for it.

It’s time to cut bait on Jonathan Bernier

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When Leafs fans like myself heard we were getting a great, young goalie in Jonathan Bernier, we were excited. Here we were getting a bonafide starting goalie for the future. He’d been backing up Jonathan Quick, arguably the best goaltender in the NHL at the time and was putting up great numbers. Needless to say, having a legitimate #1 starter for the first time since arguably Ed Belfour was huge for everyone.

And now we’re three years in and I’m already moving on.

This isn’t just coming off last night’s 4-3 loss to the New York Rangers where Bernier let in a soft goal from the red line and the game winning goal off the juiciest rebound from a slow, nothing shot. This is after a full season of god awful hockey coming off his actually pretty good initial season and now an 8-game start to the season that is making him look like he doesn’t even belong in the AHL, let alone the big leagues.

For whatever reason, Bernier’s completely fallen off the map. The stats don’t make it seem as obvious, but in his three seasons so far his goals against average has gone from 2.70, to 2.87, to 3.17 and his save percentage has gone from .920, to .912, to .895! You know how many goalies have a better percentage than him this season? 54! And only 12 others are behind him. Not to mention, he’s the only goalie who’s played more than 3 games and is winless this season. He’s the only starting goaltender without a win still! The next arguable starting goaltender on the list is Jonas Hiller who even having the god awful season he’s having, has 2 wins in 6 starts, following by 3-win starters like Michal Neuvirth, Frederik Andersen, Cam Talbot, Jimmy Howard, Steve Mason and Seymon Varlamov. Even Sergei Bobrovsky on this terrible starting Columbus team has 6 wins!

Now you can try to argue it’s because the Leafs aren’t scoring and in a sense that’s true. But we’ve seen time and time again Bernier letting in the first shot of the game or just horribly soft goals. When you are a team working as hard (regardless that they’re outmatched) like the Toronto Maple Leafs, a soft goal or a goal of the first freaking shot will kill any and all momentum the team has. No wonder they’re having trouble scoring, they’re all positive it’ll mean nothing in the end, Bernier’ll just cough up the lead.

So what gets done with Jonathan Bernier. For starters (pun intended), you need to bench him and have James Reimer as the #1. After their 3-game winning streak, the starting job should be Reimer’s to lose now, not Bernier’s just because we’re paying him $4.15M a year until the end of next season. If it’s at all possible, I’d be thinking about finding a deal to ship him out, even if it’s for a big money contract, as long as it’s for this one season. At this point, unless we can somehow sign a GREAT free agent goalie, our next directive should be drafting one.

Now as far as I’m aware of, there aren’t seemingly any future superstar goalies coming up in the draft, but that’s still something to look into, especially over the next 3 years. If a decent goalie is coming up in the draft, take it, even if he’s projected 10-20 spots lower. We can’t afford to miss one. Now Garret Sparks or Antoine Bibeau might turn out to be pretty good, but that’s a few years from now, the Leafs organization should be taking the initiative and drafting a couple more young goalies. You never know, there might be a great prospect piece to shop around if the Leafs are in a playoff race a few years down the line.

I don’t like jumping off the bandwagon of someone, but Bernier is one of those cases where he’s leaving me almost no choice. He’s letting in Toskala goals almost every month (and Toskala only had that one goal from the blue line!) and in a season where everyone on the roster in working hard and showing signs of improvement under Mike Babcock, Bernier is not. He’s floundering and as much as I’d hate to say it, we need to cut bait on him, hopefully by the end of this season.

I’m a little sick of this non-existent goaltending controversy we’ve had the last 3 years.

There’s Nothing Wrong With Fantasizing

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Yesterday, I posted my first Top 10 on the blog page and it was quite the extreme and up-front topic. The topic: the Top 10 video game girls I’d sleep with (as seen here). Now I know almost no one is reading this page as of right now, but I imagine if I were to ever start attracting attention, that Top 10 (amongst others in the future) will probably have me criticized for being many things: a pervert, creepy, sexist, blah blah blah, you know the usual names thrown around.

So I think it’s time I cover my own ass before that ever starts happening.

I can remember for the longest time my folks being extremely weirded out by how into video games and anime I was. The look on my father’s face alone when my girlfriend for Christmas got me what would be my first figurine, a wonderful Yuffie Kisaragi from Final Fantasy VII. Needless to say, he was a bit miffed as to why I’d be happy to have a small statue of a fictional character on my display, especially it being a girl in short shorts. I was fighting that fight all the way until I moved out, I had to be aware of what I was watching when my folks were around, I kept my desktop wallpaper very clean, things like that. Now I’m happily sporting a current Hatsune Miku wallpaper and I’m in the double digits with figurines (not even counting the tiny ones). Hell, my current mouse pad features the girl who was in the #1 spot on the Top 10 that made me write this article, Yuna from Final Fantasy X-2.

Generally speaking, my friends think this stuff is cool, hilarious, hell I’ve even turned a few people onto those mouse pads. Believe me, they’re actually super comfortable! If there’s anyone I know who’s been in my house and thinks the stuff I own is disturbing and/or disgusting, they certainly don’t voice that, which is the right thing to do. It’s not their house and it’s not their money that got spent on these things, so quite frankly it’s none of their business.

But yet there are people out there who take just a peek at this stuff and immediately throw every insult and argument in the book at it and shame those who take part in it. So it’s time to dismantle a few of the more common things that are spoken on this subject.

“That culture is all for creepy single men who live in their parents’ basement!” – Well this is an easy one to dismantle. It wasn’t until I moved out that I started owning any of this material. I’ve been in an extremely happy relationship for over 8 years now with my lovely girlfriend, I can count on one hand how many serious arguments we’ve ever had. And most of all, I’d like to think I’m not that creepy. I don’t recall myself ever having excess “waifu” talks, I don’t have any shrines to certain girls and in real life, I certainly don’t go around doing the cliché things creepy guys do, like scooting close to young girls, stalking people, etc.

“Material like this is immoral!” – Is it really? Because if that’s the case, then there’s a lot of pictures out there, whether business or personal that fall into the same perceptions. Take the cover photo of this article, the 3 Street Fighter girls at the beach, for example. If stuff like this is immoral, shouldn’t pictures in real life that are similar be the same? I just typed in “3 girls on the beach” into Google Images and this was one of the first to come up. It’s pretty much the same thing, 3 girls enjoying themselves on the beach. There just happens to be one difference and that leads me to the next point.

“It’s worse because compared to real-life, women are even more over-sexualized!” – In a way, I can see their point. They’re not wrong in that there’s more sexualized artwork of a video game character compared to a real person. But there are a ton of reasons behind that. For one, the majority of this artwork is not even created by the property owners, so much of it is fan art. Minus the odd weird picture that gets drawn of say for example, Emma Watson as Hermoine (rule 34 is weird, man), the odds of sexy fan art being of a fictional character is just exponentially higher. Secondly and this is the most important one, it’s so much easier to have highly-sexual material of fictional characters than real people. I don’t think there are a lot of women out there willing to poses in hundreds if not thousands of pictures in scantily clad clothing for the price of pencils and paint. Juri from Street Fighter on the other hand isn’t real! She’s not going to complain about being in a skimpy bikini and presenting her perfectly drawn ass (because another thing about video game characters, they can be made to look perfect) to the viewers.

“Material like this de-values women!” – Artwork like the cover photo doesn’t de-value women, but writing and a failure to give her a proper character does. Even the most innocent, shy, perfect Christian girl has a swimsuit and the odds of it being a bikini are getting higher each year as you see less and less girls (even kids!) wearing one-piece swimwear. The same goes for underwear, don’t tell me that every girl in the real world doesn’t own at least one pair of relatively skimpy underwear. As most of all, do you also think the average girl when she gets out of the shower or is changing doesn’t pose in front of the mirror naked? The only difference once again, is that fictional characters don’t say no to posing in artwork, because they’re not real! When it comes to de-valuing women in video games, the body and attire does not define her, it’s how she acts. I will absolutely agree that a lot of developers and writers have done some piss-poor jobs writing good female characters. Too many of them are literal objects for the male leads to try and get into her pants. That absolutely does need to stop, or at the very least slow the fuck down.

Going back to the over-sexualisation topic as well, is it really fair to bash the girls with good characters solely because they’re drawn unrealistically? Big breasts, perfect ass, perfect body all around. Absolutely not! Let’s just focus on breasts right now. A lot of female characters get propped up for having oversized breasts with crazy jiggle physics (*cough cough* DOA…), but it’s unfair to slut shame them just because of their breast size. After all, there are many women in the real world who naturally have large breasts as well and they too often get slut shamed as well, solely because of that, not because of their personality, but just because they have big tits. And this is pretty much a female-only problem, you don’t hear guys gets shamed cause they have ripped abs or a big dick (granted, that’s because they aren’t as obvious). If a woman wants her body to look like that, that’s her prerogative, who are we to judge that? The same goes for video game characters, why should we judge her by her appearance? If she isn’t a total whore and pointless character, there’s no reason to get up in arms about her.

“It’s…it’s just weird how guys and girls fantasize about fictional characters!” – And this is where people are reaching. Is it really weird to fantasize about people who aren’t real? I personally believe it’s weirder to be in a conversation where a guy talks about the things he’d do to a person I know in real life, rather than a fictional character. Let’s turn this up all the way. If you had a sister (of age, let’s be real here) and your buddy talked about how much he’d want to bang her, would that not creep you out/piss you off? The same goes for a friend of yours, a co-worker, a classmate, wherever your line ends. Would it bother you just as much if that same guy talked about wanting to bang Lara Croft? I doubt it. The same goes for celebrities, you hear groups of guys all the time talking about wanting to bang Scarlett Johannson, Megan Fox, Sofia Vergara, etc. But that’s not weird because it’s unrealistic, those guys are never gonna even touch those women, let alone do ’em. So why’s it any different if it’s Sonya Blade or Tifa Lockhart? It’s 200% unrealistic because they don’t exist!

And that’s the important thing to remember in all of this, folks:

THEY’RE NOT REAL!!!

I see nothing wrong at all with the idea of fantasizing about fictional characters. So when I decided to make a top 10 about the video game girls I’d love to have in my bed, I had no problems writing it out and posting it. Because it doesn’t matter, they’re not real. It’s not like I gave a list of 10 girls on my Facebook friends list, all 10 girls were purely fictional. I also didn’t spend length talking about the things I’d do to them, I spend each paragraph on them talking about the things I liked about them and the reasons why they made the list. Nothing more.

You can’t stalk video game characters. Even if they’d say no, fanfiction can always change that.

In real life however, that’s a crime. And the average video game/anime enthusiast knows that difference.

Top 10 Female Video Game Characters I’d Sleep With

***If you have a problem with lists like these, they’re not real women. Spare me the sexism and over-sexualization speeches. Read this article I wrote too.***

To clarify on this list, the 10 female characters you will see on this list are NOT characters that I’d fall in love with, hang out with, have a relationship with, anything of the sort. This is the 10 girls in video games that I’d totally without regret have a rockin’ one-night stand with, nothing more. A Top 10 list of the characters I’d marry? Now that’s a list for another day!

Now I shouldn’t have to explain myself here, but just in case those reading this list feel like blowing a gasket at this list, here’s a heads up. Remember that this is my own personal list, so the girls who made this list are based on my own preferences for what I’m attracted to. Also a lot of the choices on this list are not strictly just for looks, some of them have some logical reasons behind them as well. For example, she may be a girl I would love nothing more than to have around every day, but because of certain reasons, maybe a one-time-only would be best for my own safety. So just keep this in mind, my list will easily be different than pretty much everyone else’s.

So let’s get right to it!

10

I’m starting off with an extremely random and very uncommon character. As far as I know, not a lot of people ended up playing RAGE. It’s not a great game by any means, I pretty much forget everything about this game, that is except for Loosum. She shows up early on in the game to teach you how to master the Wingsticks and the moment I laid my eyes on her, she was just absolutely perfect. At the time in 2011 when this game came out, it was showing off id Software’s new Tech 5 engine, so it was top of the line graphics being pumped out, so Loosum had a distinct advantage going in. Character-wise, there’s not a whole lot to say, since she’s around for all of five minutes of importance. She has some spunk to her and she certainly knows how to show herself off, she knows she’s gorgeous. Personally, I’d consider keeping her around, but the first name just breaks it for me. “So what’s your wife’s name?” “*sigh* Loosum…” Yeah…that ain’t gonna fly.

09

As a heads up, Cammy is pretty much the only character on this list that would be considered by the video gaming community as a sex symbol. Generally speaking, the video game vixens that are on the top of everyone’s list just don’t fit any other criteria from me other than having a great body. But Cammy is so damn smoking hot, that she manages to make the list anyways. Although she holds a special place in my heart because she pretty much is the first video game character I saw on screen that fit the bill of being that sexy girl in a video game. I played Super Street Fighter II for the SNES a ton as a kid and Cammy was my main character, admittedly her ass was half the reason I picked her all the time, I was actually pretty good with her too, so it just happened to work out perfectly. If there’s any video game girl that’s on the top of everyone else’s lists that I’d have to pick over all the others, she’s without a doubt the one for me to go with.

08

Another anomaly on this list, I would think. Very few people play the Guilty Gear games and that’s a damn shame. So this lovely tanned, light-haired expressionless evil non-human girl from the Backyard will likely be even less-known as she’s from the newest game, Guilty Gear Xrd. She falls into the category of girls in games that I’d love to spend the night with, but the likelyhood of dying trying to get to that point makes it pretty difficult. But from playing the story mode of GGXrd, I really fell in love with her character, her expressionless voice and demeanor makes her extremely adorable to me to the point I want to try and snap her out of it, she seems like the girl that would be just a giant cutie once she opens up. And to top it all off, I have a giant soft spot for anime-drawn tanned or darker skinned girls. I don’t know why, especially since it doesn’t translate into real life at all.

07

Malon’s simply a victim of living in a world I would just refuse to live in and I know I wouldn’t be able to pry her out of it. She’s probably the overall prettiest girl on this list and certainly the most homely. But if I were to consider her for my future Top 10 Video Game Girls I’d Marry list, I’d have to commit to living the farm life and there’s no goddamn way you’d catch me working my ass off on a farm, I wouldn’t survive. And judging her character, like I said there’s no way you’re prying this lovely redhead away from that life either. What a damn shame…

06

Lightning is the prime example of a girl you would never catch me dead spending any more time than I’d have to with her. She’s absolutely insufferable, a constant pain in the ass, I can’t listen to her speak for more than a few words before I want to punch her in the face. But goddamn did Square Enix draw her superbly. Of course only the idiots at Square Enix would create one of the most hateable female characters I’ve ever known, yet also make her arguably the hottest Final Fantasy girl of all (yes, that includes rivaling Tifa). I just hope that if I was to ever share a bed with her, I wouldn’t have to listen to hours of her brooding about her sister.

05

Persona 4 is pretty much my favourite game of all-time. There isn’t a single character in the series that I have a major problem with and when it comes to the many female characters in the game, the majority of them are in consideration for the Top 10 Marry list. But Rise is the odd one out. It’s funny, she’s clearly presented as the hottest girl in the game and she is without any doubt. However when it comes to her character, she just doesn’t grab my attention nearly enough compared to all the others to follow through on anything other than a single night. It could be the fact she’s overly flirty, the fact she’s an idol and would be constantly targeted by other guys, or just the fact she (depending on when I’d catch her) struggles to figure out who she really is, where the line between her normal self or the idol persona. Either way, I’d love to hang out with her, but certainly not in a dating manner.

04

We started the crazy and evil with Ramlethal at #8, now we resume that trend with likely the most dangerous lady on this list. I’m noting that I’d prefer the Mass Effect 3 version of Jack because I like her far more with hair and her new outfit. Jack was a tough one to place, there’s so many factors behind her being on this list. I love girls with tattoos, tomboys and some of the sexiest characters to me are the ones you know there’s no chance in hell you’d ever get with for any reason, but your physical well-being adds onto that with Jack. As we’ve seen in the Mass Effect series, she views sex as almost a common thing due to her screwed up life before meeting Shepard. But as quickly as she’ll bed you, she’s likely to tear you apart, literally. So for my own safety, as quick as she’d want to fuck, I’d just as quickly fuck off before I’d lose my life.

03

Now unlike Jack, she may not kill me, but the hundreds if not thousands of experiments she’d run on me if I ever happened to get close to her would be almost just as bad. But damn, talk about a 10/10, without a doubt the hottest Fire Emblem character. She also has a distinct advantage because anyone I’ve ever seen cosplay her has been just as gorgeous, she translates perfectly into real life as well. I’ve run through Awakening twice, the first time I made the boneheaded decision to have my character marry Lissa and immediately regretted it after getting to know Tharja a lot more. She gives off that forbidden fruit aura, the one girl you can’t resist, but you know that it would be in your best interests to not pursue her. But with that body, I wouldn’t blame anyone, male or female from going after her regardless.

02

The pinnacle of crazy, the girl that I know that I’d never be able to get close to. Jack would let you have a round and then you’re screwed. Tharja might let you in, but you’d be so messed up from all the experiments first, it might not even matter. But Tira, I don’t think there’s a chance in hell you’d be able to even touch her before she’d slice you apart with that ring blade. The first time I laid eyes on her in Soul Calibur III, that was it, I loved her. I was a huge Talim fan the previous game and I thought no one could top her, she was super pretty. But Tira just shot in with that amazing badass hair, the makeup, those piercing violet eyes and of course that phenomenal body. The artwork of her in the picture above is one of the best I’ve seen from any game, let alone fighting games. But behind that body is one of the most twisted, sadistic minds, one who would cut your throat within seconds of meeting you. Come to think of it, it would give her line “Awww you broke already? Oh well, I guess I’m done with you.” a new meaning. *shudders*

And finally, my #1 pick:

01

There’s a ton of reasons why Yuna’s at the top of this list. I’m sure most are surprised she’s not being considered on the Top 10 Marry list, most feel she’s very homely, a wonderful girl, beautiful as hell and all those are true. But there’s a bunch that put her on this side rather than the other. I wasn’t a huge fan of her FFX character, she was too softspoken and the whole super-religious thing immediately turned this atheist off, especially nowadays where it’s in full-swing. But the biggest problem with Yuna has nothing to do with her personally, it’s just a matter of being the odd one out. Logically if I lived in Spira, she simply wouldn’t be on my mind because of one thing:

This girl.

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So because of Rikku, Yuna ends up being at the top of the list, just because I would absolutely love to spend the rest of my life with her if she existed, but there’s already a girl in the same universe I’d pick over her. Sorry, Yunie!

I hope you all enjoyed this list, it was fun to make. Remember it’s not serious at all, it’s all in good fun. Your list will be way different than mine for various reasons. And most of all, if you think this is creepy to post, for god’s sake they’re not real, it doesn’t matter.

And realistically, don’t tell me you don’t fantasize about sleeping with someone. I just happen to have zero problems saying it out loud.

Remembering Eddie Guerrero

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I still remember No Way Out 2004 clear as day. The moments leading up to the very end of that classic match between him and Lesnar. The second he hit that frog splash, I jumped out of my seat and moved as close to the TV as I could without seeing a blurry picture. 1, 2, 3! With the quietest freak out in history (since my folks were asleep) I had watched one of my most favourite moments in professional wrestling, Eddie Guerrero winning the WWE Championship.

It feels far longer than 10 years since Eddie passed away, likely because this current era in WWE has been so boring and stagnant that time seemingly has slowed down. I’d completely forgotten that he passed in 2005 so today would mark the 10 year anniversary since then. It was such heartbreaking news 10 years ago when we were told he had passed away. You felt as if it were a really poor tasting prank. Eddie was just getting into his best work, he’d only won his first WWE title the year before at the aforementioned No Way Out pay-per-view. But it was no prank, he was really gone. A lot of us were just crushed by the news, Eddie was a fan favourite, a phenomenal performer and just one of the most likeable (and hateable if he was a heel) guy in the business.

I will remember Eddie as my favourite incarnation of him. The lowriders, the swagger, the tossing of foreign objects and falling onto the mat like he’d be shot and of course most of all, that contagious smile of his.

Viva La Raza. Rest in peace, Eddie.

AJ Styles + WWE – This better not happen!

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Rumours in wrestling are a constant circulation throughout the internet. One of them as of late has been concerning the “Phenomenal One” AJ Styles, who since leaving TNA Impact Wrestling has proven that he isn’t just a good wrestler, he’s one of if not the best wrestler in the world today. The current stories are saying that AJ’s last dates schedule so far with New Japan Pro Wrestling are in January and that’s all. So of course rumours about WWE trying to negotiate with him into coming back to North American television are starting to float once more.

And as much as I have grown to become a huge AJ Styles fan this past year, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO desire to see him in WWE!

Not because he wouldn’t work there, fans wouldn’t attach to him, he’d have bad matches, all of that isn’t true, he’d kickass there. He’d have great matches with guys like Cesaro, Ambrose, Owens and especially Rollins, before the knee injury.

I don’t want him in WWE because they will do absolutely nothing with him.

To start things off, he’s a Georgia boy and we know how much Vince, Kevin Dunn and the rest of the WWE take to Southern talent. We’ve see with how they treated Jim Ross over the years how they will endlessly make fun of the accents. Hell Cesaro isn’t allowed to do anything solely because he’s Swiss. You know they won’t let AJ talk much.

Secondly, how many guys originally from TNA have actually done anything in WWE? Here’s a brief list:

  • Samoa Joe is in NXT
  • James Storm’s had one match so far in NXT
  • Marcus Cor Von (aka Monty Brown) had a short, forgettable ECW run
  • Low Ki (aka Kaval) was a thing. I forgot about him until see him on the list
  • Amazing Kong (aka Kharma) is the closest we’ve had to a TNA star making a mark and her tenure was very short

The track record so far for TNA stars in WWE is horrendous, I have little to no faith that Styles would be any different in WWE, where they frown upon people getting over before they do anything with them.

Lastly, AJ’s already 38 years old, his career isn’t exactly young. Plus when you take into account just how much money he’s making doing the independent circuit and wrestling on other major promotions like New Japan and Ring of Honor, it almost seems pointless to take a chance and hope Vince will do something with him for the couple years he’d have left before in WWE’s eyes he’d be too old to be a star (unless you’re John Cena or the Undertaker).

I would love nothing more than to see AJ Styles wrestling some of the best wrestlers in the world in some of the biggest arenas and on some of the biggest shows year round.

But then I remember he’s wrestling Shinsuke Nakamura at Wrestle Kingdom 10 at the Tokyo Dome in January and I shut up.

Getting sick of the “super positive” people

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I’m not a crazy negative person, I’m really not. But I am very pessimistic and an extremely emotional person, minus the tears. When I’m happy, it shows. But when I’m upset, it shows as well. The problem I have now, is that the super-positive or super-optimistic people out there have no idea how to handle people like me. They have a list of sentences and phrases they always pull out when they can’t help themselves to try and pep people up:

  • “It’ll get better.”
  • “You know, it could be worse.”
  • “I don’t understand why you’re so angry.”

That last one is key. Of course they don’t understand why people get so angry, because we don’t live in a world where we see rainbows and light at the end of every tunnel. Unfortunately some of us in life have been exposed to more negative moments than positive ones and while some can just turn them all aside and smile no matter what, others like me take things more to heart and they add up over time. In my case, I get very talkative when I’m pissed off, annoyed or just down. And I don’t sugarcoat anything, which brings me to the thing I hate about the super-positive the most.

When people get optimistic, a lot of the time they end up coming off extremely unrealistic. I see this a lot when I play co-ed league sports, where you probably guessed I’m extremely emotionally involved in. As a pessimist, I’m also a realist so instead of making up crazy events that could happen during a game, or stating that our team is really good (I’m usually on a team that loses 70-90% of our games). However as the realist, I state things based on what I see, the patterns and the actual facts.

For example, my soccer team this season we’re playing in is heavily outmatched, we’re playing in a league that while it says the level is “Recreational”, it’s actually a level higher cause the only teams that sign up this time of year other than my own are the teams that play in the higher leagues and want to stomp on the smaller teams. When I talk during another one of our 9-0 losses, I state that we’re not as skilled, not as conditioned and quite simply not as good. And it’s true, at no point am I telling lies or being over-reactive. But the optimistic view it as such and proceed to break character and start getting upset with me and as the years have gone by I have less and less tolerance for bullshit.

Is it great to be negative all the time? Of course not! And it’s not like I’m going around yelling at everyone, insulting them, threatening them, etc etc etc. I’m usually pretty calm when I’m in my full pessimistic mode. I just wish optimists would take a moment to understand that maybe, just maybe I’m not as high in the clouds as they are. Because I certainly have no problem with them being there and I for the most part fully understand how they are like that.

So why is it so hard for them to understand why pessimists are like that? Oh that’s right, because they believe an heavily outmatched soccer team can make a comeback down 9-0 when we’ve yet to put a shot on goal.

Logic, people.

Lest We Forget

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I think the longer I’ve lived in this world, the more I truly appreciate what we have in this present day. When you’re younger, you’re naïve, you don’t take the time to reminisce and contemplate how different our world would be had any of the wars of our past had ended differently.

Today is the day we have chosen to honour the brave men and women throughout history who gave their lives and fought to preserve the freedoms we enjoy without a thought today. It should be something we do every day, but one day is still better than none. These brave souls left everything behind to essentially be sent to their deaths or at the very least in harm’s way.

I cannot imagine how it was to just be drafted into the military. You’re at home one day, just enjoying life to the fullest and then a letter comes to your door, addressed specifically to you by someone or something you’ve never known, and it tells you that you are to leave your home, your family, your friends and join the military and face certain death. We portray these moments in movies like they’re all optimistic, that they’re ready to go and put a bullet in Hitler’s head, something to that extent. But deep down the majority of them had to know, they were not coming back. It reminds me of a great lyric in oddly enough Chris Jericho’s band Fozzy’s song “Storm The Beaches”, a song that to me perfectly encapsulates the infamous beaches of Normandy battles:

First to go, last to know. First to go, last to know. No shingles, no shields, no shellholes to hide. No cover, no walls, no chance to survive.

Can you imagine what these people felt once they entered the battlefield, hell the moments leading towards that. Imagine being on a boat heading towards the beaches of Normandy. You hear the relentless sounds of gunfire, explosions, screams in the distance. And as you get closer and closer, more and more bodies appear and the water gets redder and redder. That scene in Saving Private Ryan still holds a spot deep in the recesses of my mind as a true depiction of the horrors that occurred during those battles.

And all those images are things that we may never have to experience in our lifetimes.

So remember when we have all these arguments and fights with each other, whether it’s legitimate battles like racial, sexual and gender equality, religion and politics, to the pointless and downright asinine fights like every single comments thread on the internet, our rights and the ability to be able to have these discussions are due in part to those men and women who fought and the majority who died protecting our rights and freedoms.

Lest we forget.