So this’ll be a fun article to write. Today’s assignment is simple: Publish a post you’d like your ideal audience member to read, and include a new-to-you element in it.
Now as for the new-to-you element, I’ve pretty much posted everything I’d actually post in an article here, whether images, videos, etc. so in terms of that half of the assignment, I’m fresh out of ideas. I could embed a Tweet, but I’d only do that if it was pertinent to the article. I’d embed a Pinterest element, but that site can suck it for all I care! So yeah, in terms of elements, nothing out of the ordinary here. However, if I’m to write an article for my ideal audience member, there’s really only one thing I can think of that defines the type of readers I’m looking to attract.
And I anticipate a few people who read this and don’t fall into that demographic might be a tad bit offended or weirded out, because the subject is question is…
Boobs! Specifically the stupidly large breasts that a ton of anime characters have.
Now this is a personal preference, so I have no problems with those who enjoy breasts that fall into a size D or bigger. But honestly, when it comes to bust sizes, I can’t get myself too into the idea of breasts that large. I’ve always had a preference for Cs and under, two of my three girlfriends in life have been smaller than Bs, my current girlfriend is pretty much flat-chested. For me personally and again this will weird some people out, I prefer a bust size that I can cup with my entire hand, rather than only grabbing a percentage. I’m also far more into butts than boobs anyways, so there’s the perverted reasons out of the way.
In terms of the way they’re used, particularly in anime since that’s the topic at hand here, generally speaking the characters who have the largest breasts seem to have the least amount of personality and/or intelligence. Whether the gigantic breasted woman is either dumb as a rock, or as upbeat as a slow dance track, the majority of anime girls that fall into this group are completely uninteresting to me. Characters like Mai (pictured above) and Hestia from Is It Wrong To Try To Pick Up A Girl In A Dungeon come to mind. They’re designed to be eye candy and generally speaking they’re either boring as hell or annoying as fuck.
And then there’s the extreme cases of oversized breasts.
Cases like Cattleya and Shizuka from Highschool of the Dead are cases where their breast sizes are just way too large. It’s to the point that they’re literally put on camera for the most part for jiggle scenes where the slightest movement triggers a ripple effect causing a multi-second jiggle fest intended solely for the viewers. Sometimes it’s even used as comedy, in the case of Shizuka pretty much using Alice as a placeholder for her breasts, as seen here.
Now this is not meant to shame or even worse, slut shame girls who do have large breasts in real life. My real problem with anime girls who are given the giant rack treatment are generally written to be just that, a giant pair of tits bouncing around for the viewers’ enjoyment. I wouldn’t have cared less how big Shizuka’s breasts were if she was a smart, strong woman capable of handling herself during the zombie apocalypse. But because she was a mostly dunce cap toting woman who somehow has medical skills, she falls into the category of pure eye candy and while I like watching sexy anime girls as much as the next guy, the ones who have staying power are sexy AND interesting.
Here’s two examples from this current anime season that fall into the category of girls with larger breasts that are still interesting. Irisdina from Schwarzesmarken has an unmistakably large bust, but unless you are a complete pervert, you don’t really notice the majority of the anime. She’s a goddamn badass woman who commands an task force of pilot mechs in a war against an alien race in the BETA. There are moments that draw slight attention to her chest, but as soon as she’s back to her commanding officer status, there’s no big-breasted bombshell moniker attached to her. Misaki is far different, but still accomplishes to draw attention to her character, rather than her bust, which is an accomplishment in itself considering the anime she’s in is far more ecchi than Schwarzesmarken. She has a very unique personality, super sleepy in the morning, super energized in the afternoon. She likes to add cat-puns in her words, often ending sentences with a ‘Nyah’ in there. And again, even though she’s been seen naked before in the anime she’s from, you still don’t immediately put her in the eye candy group, as again she’s unique, but also holds her own in the anime’s central plot, the Flying Circus sport that’s played. So far she’s handily beaten her competition, so she’s not just the sexy one that’s just there to distract people or take the losses.
Honestly, I don’t have a huge problem (pun intended) with big breasted anime girls, just when they’re written poorly. I’ve said it before, you can make a girl in an anime or a video game as sexy as you want, but if you give her zero personality and essentially turn her into eye candy, you’ve failed to make her anything except a sex doll. There a ton of great large-chested girls in anime, such as Seras Victoria from Hellsing and Saya Takagi from Highschool of the Dead. They have a personality and there’s something about them that’s interesting beyond more than just their bodies. And the same goes for real life, I couldn’t care less how big a girl’s bust is, so long as she’s cool to hang around. I don’t think I’d be interested in a relationship because of my preferences however, but I can always make more friends, y’know?
But if you’re just defined by your body and nothing else, you’re not interesting to me and the same goes for fictional characters. If she’s just tits and ass, that’s all I’ll remember her for, tits and ass. The girls sitting at the top of my all-time list aren’t even close to being the hottest girls I’ve seen in anime, but they’re damn sure the most interesting. Why? Cause their character is more than just jumping up and down.
Sometimes they jump side to side too.