I’m a month into my new apartment, a couple weeks into being back in the saddle of making videos on YouTube again. I’m back to doing a weekly show in the Saturday Morning Soapbox, I’ve now done my first standalone video since getting back, so it’s safe to say I’m back in the swing of things.
And I gotta tell ya, it’s weird, man…
I mentioned it in my return video and probably on the Soapbox as well, but making YouTube videos again feels kind of nostalgic in a way. Since so many of the things that are now in my new apartment were in a storage locker for two years, having them all back in one place made the apartment feels less new and more familiar. I’m back to sitting in the same spot on the couch with my big screen TV facing the same way, for example.
The same goes for my YouTube videos. Same desk I used to sit my laptop on, same microphone, same webcam, same DXRacer chair that in retrospect, I maybe shouldn’t have spent so much damn money on, but fuck it, I love that freaking chair! The first time I sat in that chair and started recording that “I’m Back!” video, it really felt like the two years that had passed almost never existed. It felt like I was back in the house I used to live in when I was still recording videos and that wave of nostalgia just flooded me. It’s why it feels so strange to say it’s only been a month since I moved into my new place. It honestly feels so much longer than that.
The real challenge for me now is making sure I don’t get too attached to just making videos that I forget to give you guys stuff to read here as well. Obviously I post all my videos here, but I don’t want it to be the only things that get posted here. Granted, most of my posts here come from very quiet hours during work where there’s not much going on. I’ve honestly tried recently to write at home and it’s damn near impossible, I’m too easily distracted by the mounds of game consoles, anime, TV shows, music and so many other things I want to do while at home.
Also, finding subjects to write about is becoming increasingly difficult because of the Soapbox. A lot of the things I’m talking about on that podcast are essentially mini-articles that I could’ve written here. So it’s almost a matter of there needing to be an excess of stories I want to talk about that I can’t fit into an hour-long podcast and would have to write a post about.
But I think in the end, what’s important is that I’m finally back to where I’ve been wanting to be since I had to leave the house I was in, when I was lasting recording YouTube videos. When I make a video, I want to make it. When I write something on the blog, I want to write it. I’m not forcing myself to do anything, I’m not freaking out cause I’m going to miss a deadline that I shouldn’t have set up for myself in the first place, I’m just producing content when I want to, about things I want to talk about. And that’s a plus for you guys as much as it’s a plus for me. You’re getting the passion from me, not a brief post that’s just trying to put something out there into the ether.
So in advance, I will apologize if there’s a lack of written content on the blog for a little while. I’m not avoiding it, I’m just trying to figure out how to do both the blog and YouTube without having to force it. I want to have unique stuff to write about here, not just rehashing videos I’ve made. It may start moving along next week, might be next month, might be all the way to the summer, who knows. But I want to figure out how to balance this, it just a matter of trial and error before I can get to that point.
Who knows, maybe I’ll just start posting “Would I Bang This Anime Character?!” kind of stuff again.
My New Year’s Resolution for 2018 is to produce content on YouTube again. Given my current situation, I’ve been needing to find different ways to do just that, as I don’t have the time to edit videos for multiple hours, nor do I have a living space where I want to have a webcam focused on me, as the background isn’t my own.
So I’m coming up with ideas and this is the first one to come through. Welcome to the Red Rover Podcast, a podcast from a Destiny community that talks about a variety of topics. I’m liking our first episode, because it comes off a lot like our party chat’s when we’re playing online on PS4. It feels natural, I really like how it doesn’t sound like it’s over-produced, or like we’re sticking to a script.
So if you’re interested, check out the show below!
As of writing this, it’s Friday night on the 3rd of November. I’m listening to the newest episode of H3H3’s podcast with Jordan Peterson, which is a really fascinating listen by the way! I took a second to throw up my blog’s admin page where I can see all my stuff and schedule and I noticed that this article was sitting in the queue.
I totally forgot that six days from the time I’m writing this article, that it’s been two years to the day since the first article was posted on here. Now I won’t spend another couple paragraphs going into what happened in that first year (that’s for the 1-year anniversary article here!), but there’s a couple notes from this year that I felt was worth talking about.
First, obviously the metrics. I was amazed when I rolled into a full year of posting here that I had accrued an average between 2000 and 3000 views every month. In the real scale of things on the internet, that’s essentially nothing, but to me, who I consider a nobody guy in Canada who just happens to enjoy talking about anything and everything, 2000 to 3000 views was insane and I couldn’t wait to progress further. Things looked amazing after that, in the following two months, I got double those views, December hitting 6000 and January hitting 5500. I thought I was making a breakthrough, perhaps just being around and consistent for a year was helping that, but whatever the reason, I was climbing and I was excited to go further…
Then everything went downhill for me. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this on here before, but the majority of 2016 and the first few months of 2017 were really rough on me. I had lost my job in the summer and struggled to find a replacement that could keep me afloat all through the fall and winter. Even worse, the home I was living in with two of my best friends, through those two friends (who are now proud parents, and congratulations to them!) being unable to afford living in this home, as they were accruing a ton of debt, we had to go our separate ways. The three years in that house were amazing for me, it was my first time living out of my parents’ place, I was truly free and individual. I found so much about myself that I never knew existed, in more ways than one. But in February, I was now living in a place I wasn’t comfortable in, I celebrated a birthday essentially at my wit’s end, just keeping up the facade that I wasn’t a broken mind.
Once spring came, things really started looking up. I found a job that I am now working full-time, it’s the first job I’ve ever had benefits at and holy hell, I’ve never been so happy in my life when it comes to my work environment. Am I completely out of my depression now? No, there’s still a couple things going in my life that are making things really difficult, but it’s hard to complain regardless. I have a job I actually enjoy waking up at 6am for (as a night owl, that’s saying something!), my debt is slowly but surely fading away and socially, I’m having some of the most enjoyable times of my life, perhaps the most enjoyable year for me socially before I graduated high school, as many refer to “the good ol’ days” where we didn’t have to be responsible for shit!
Y’know I sit here in early November, certainly a hell of a lot more positive than I was behind the scenes. On the blog, I was excited as hell, but in the back of my mind, I was beyond freaking out. Now I’m excited in life and in all honesty, I’m just enjoying the riding now here on the blog.
It’s no secret that the tail end of summer was a worrying time for anyone who’s been here for a while now. On average before July, I was posting at least 20 posts every month. In August and September, I barely made that 20 number with those two months combined. Now there was a number of reasons for it. The quick one was that quite frankly, I was busy as all hell. I attended three weddings, one of which I was a groomsman, I went on a number of day-long trips and at that point, I was just pre-occupied with so much every day. I was working 40 hours a week, playing baseball two days a week, soccer another day. I had social gatherings every other night, often visited my parents every weekend for something. Basically, the amount of time I had free, I had to make a choice: to either work on the blog here, or use that free time to do things I wanted to do.
And that was the big revelation for me this year. Now I don’t know if I’ll somehow get lucky and make the right post at the right time and catch fire, getting a lot of attention, whether it’s here, on Twitter, on YouTube, who knows. I’ve honestly though resigned myself to the idea that I’m not going to become an internet celebrity, as in someone getting 10,000+ views on YouTube, my blog, thousands of Twitter followers, all that sexy stuff I could boast about to my friends. Now did I start this page to become that? God no. As I said in my 1-year post, I started this place because I was bored as hell and needed something to keep myself busy. Now my life has gotten busy, so changes had to be made, thus stuff like the Anime/Gaming/Character Spotlights, Waifu/Friend with Benefits/One-Night Stand, Sexy/Beauty/Cutie and even my Top 10s, which I never thought I run out of ideas on, all those kinds of articles, they had to go the way of the dodo.
In the end, I came to the decision that this blog was not going to be a place of work for me. I don’t view my blog as a place like Kotaku, like IGN, like Crunchyroll’s news page, I don’t want this place to be a “professional” level page. I don’t want this blog to be a place where I’m expected to write an article every day or at the very least every other day, regardless of whether I have something to say or not. I don’t want to write articles that I’m not 100% behind, that I’m not fully invested and excited to write. And I especially don’t want this to be a place where I feel like it’s a place of work more than a place of leisure. I can recall the weeks leading up to me stopping the Anime/Gaming/Character spotlight articles, where I struggled to come up with anything that I wanted to write about, but I was forcing an article out because I had to do one every Thursday, or whatever day I normally scheduled them at. Thus I eventually got fed up and told myself “If you don’t want to write anymore, then you need to stop before you never want to again.” and that’s kind of where we stand now.
I have a desire to write again, October certainly showed that. There’s stuff I want to say, content I want to try out, but the journey’s gonna be a slower one than the one I tried to cultivate in my first year. I’m going to keep posting at my own pace, whether that’s 4-5 articles in a week, or maybe just the weekly anime review article all week, it really depends on my availability and if enough topics come along that get me fired up to write. I want to do more reviews, but obviously game reviews take longer, since I don’t have the time to finish games as easily as I used to. Which by the way, that should be a prerequisite to reviewing games, you have to FINISH them, not put in 30 hours into an 80+ hour journey and say you know everything.
I still want to do more YouTube content, but that might be a ways away from being a normal thing. My goal for the time being is to from now on do my end of season anime awards and reviews as a YouTube video. Anything beyond that, it’s tough, as the place I live in right now is one where I don’t have a quiet space to record, nor one where I feel comfortable talking about more controversial topics that I’d love nothing more to get into on YouTube. I’d love to talk politics or scream about things being trash, but I’m currently living in a place where I can’t be loud, nor do I feel comfortable openly talking about the views I hold, regardless of whether they’re right or not. My hope is that by the time spring rolls around next year, I’ll finally be living in my own space again and able to get back to doing whatever I want to do, wherever that content comes from and gets posted to.
Now because my posting may not be as active, I’m trying to find other ways as well to at least stick around when I’m not writing an endless supply of blog posts. I’m still trying to get myself to post on Twitter more often, I find it hard at times, cause I only really want to post something I feel is interesting or funny, not the random “I’m doing this” posts you see so many people spam their Twitter accounts with. I’m trying to make it a habit of posting one picture a day on my Instagram again, usually with a silly quip. Most of all, I’ve started a Slack chat as a way to perhaps talk with you lovely folks more. No one’s joined yet, which I’m not surprised by honestly, I’ve only got 300 followers on the blog. I just find it so much fun to chat with people about random shit and I need more outlets to do so, so what better people to talk to than the people who somehow find me interesting enough to ready my shit?
So yeah, it’s been two years now and this second year has kind of been the year of learning, the year of trial and error and most importantly, the year of overcoming things. What does the third year have in store? I’m not even going to try and figure that one out. All I know is that whoever is reading my stuff and enjoying it still to this day, you guys are fucking awesome. Thank you so much for being here and making me believe that sure, I may not be the biggest name out there, but damn it, I’m not at the bottom either!!! WOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Let me be real for a second…2016 for me was a terrible year. Outside of the last month, most of the year just wasn’t kind to me and on so many different levels. I lost the best job I ever had, my financial stability the entire year has been shotty and on so many occasions has life thrown me curveballs I never could’ve prepared for. It’s been a tough year for me, no doubt about it. Thankfully, this last month has been an incredible change of fortune. While I’m still struggling financially and my current job isn’t exactly one I’m excited to wake up in the morning for, a lot of things have happened that by the turn of the new year, I was going in very optimistic.
Three exciting things happened in December relating to this page and my “internet career” that really lifted my spirits when I was in a very bad state of mind:
One, you guys beyond shattered my view records, both in daily and monthly viewership. My old daily record was 330, we hit just shy of 900 views in a single day last month! I still cannot believe I nearly tripled my record daily view count, every time I see that number, I’m flabbergasted by it. And this wasn’t an anomaly, I broke that original record of 330 on two other occasions after that. And then in terms of monthly views, the record set last month of 3,300 was doubled, the number in the 6,600 range. I can’t thank you guys enough, you continue to go beyond the expectations I have for myself. You have no idea how your support has completely changed the confidence in myself and my content. I keep thinking I’m going to plateau at some point and then you guys swoop in and keep it going. So thank you for that.
Two, I’ve actually started getting fan mail. I’m not talking comments on all the posts, I mean actual e-mails being sent my way, in particular through the Contact page, which I completely forgot I had until this month when I started getting messages from you guys. I suppose I ought to say it right now, I am always more than happy to talk with you guys when I can, so whether it’s in the comments on the blog or my YouTube videos, through my Instagram or Twitter accounts, or through the Contact page, don’t hesitate to say hello and strike up a conversation with me!
And third, I got something crazy in my inbox this month. I got contacted by a member of Kiro’o Games, the makers of Aurion: Legacy of Kori Odan and they wanted me to review their game! I got contacted by a games studio and got my first free copy of a game to review! Of course, I haven’t had the chance yet to start playing it, the holidays put a stop to my plans to get that done quickly, so it’s something I plan to get on top of this month. Regardless, to have anyone come up to me with this, is downright stunning to me. I don’t view myself as anything special, so this first time is one that’s still yet to truly sink in for me.
So moving forward, what’s 2017 look like for CSRadical? That’s a good question, one I don’t have all the answers for. I know what I want to do and plan to do, that being more podcasts, video content, reviews and much more content for the page and other outlets. I’ve got about two months of Instagram now under my belt, which has been a fun side venture (posting sexy anime pictures are so much fun!), I’ve restarted an old podcast I used to do long before starting the blog page and I continue to want to make more video content, I just wish I had more time to devote to it. Hopefully in 2017 I can find ways to get more done and not sacrifice my social life, which is extremely important to me as well.
Man…why couldn’t I just win the lottery and not have to work a shitty job anymore? I could put so much more time and work into this stuff…
So yeah, thanks for an awesome 2016 on the page, hopefully this trend continues this year and even more so, my life outside of my internet personality also follows the road my time here has done.
Cause man, I would love to make double the money I make now, like how my monthly views just doubled…
It’s crazy to me looking back on the first few articles I wrote on the blog, now that we’re a year through here on the Radical Rant blog page. The amount of randomness for one thing is extremely noticeable when you look at November 2015 on the page. I talked about professional wrestling, harem anime, Remembrance Day, hockey, Black Friday, mainstream music and of course, sexual content in gaming and anime. That’s in the course of one month!
When I first made the blog, I didn’t really have an intent on doing anything specifically. I was just in a state of boredom at that point, Destiny was winding down a little bit, having been a couple months removed from the fantastic The Taken King expansion, there really wasn’t much in terms of sports for me to watch, wrestling was still on a rocky surface with me, there just wasn’t anything devoting my full attention to it, so I was in dire need of something to do. So when Seth Rollins got seriously injured, sending the entire WWE into absolute panic and chaos, I had the perfect thing I needed to vent about. That was article number one. Then Rakudai Kishi no Cavalry was in full swing and had a harem anime developing a loving relationship quickly, another amazing thing to talk about. Then two days later, Remembrance Day came around, so I talked about a life without worrying about going to war. And then just more subject kept coming to mind, so I kept writing.
I never really intended to go in the direction that I ended up heading in, as in my constant battle with the societal acceptance and hopefully eventual ability to openly speak about sexuality and sexual content in various forms of media, though in particular my concentration being within anime and video games. I didn’t think I was going to spend a full year fighting on the side for the content, I didn’t think I’d be posting articles about underwear, about hentai, about censorship. If you told me that I was going to openly talk about the underwear I wear, about my very specific, odd sexual orientation, I’d have called you crazy. But after a week of posting mostly wrestling articles, something changed in my mindset.
I don’t know what specifically triggered the idea of a Top 10 about fictional characters I’d sleep with. The best answer I can come up with is simply that after a week of writing more serious, rant-like material and seeing literally no viewership, I decided to just drop any care in the world to what I posted and dove head-first into whatever was on my mind at the time. Now granted, what was I expecting after only a week of posting on an unknown blog? Regardless though, I’ve also podcasted for a while, did YouTube for a while and I tried to be a lot like the stuff you listen to and watch. I think here, I just thought that I should stop trying to be like something else and just be myself, whether those who found my content would like the real me or not.
Thankfully, a year later, I’m averaging between 2,500 and 3,000 views a month, so it’s safe to say that at the very least…not everyone hates it!
Now as most things grow older, the status quo eventually has to change. If I do the same thing forever, it will grow stale and you’ll stop caring about the content and I obviously don’t want that. So you’ll have noticed that last week, there was a bunch of missing articles that normally show up every week. Specifically, the Game, Character and Anime Spotlights. The Top 10s haven’t been showing up lately either, but that’s been due to just not having time on the weekends to get them done like I normally do, they’ll still be around in the future. But the Spotlights from here on out are going the way of the dodo, at least for a while.
Why? It’s actually pretty simple for me. The blog for me was meant as a fun thing to do on the side. I told myself that if it ever started to become work, I’d stop doing it. And that’s what the Spotlights have become. Work. In the early going, I had a list of stuff I really wanted to talk about and gush about. Now, I’m hitting a bunch of snags, I used to be able to think of a month’s worth of these articles with incredible ease. Now? I sit there for a good 5-10 minutes thinking of what to do for a single week. Then when I go to write them, I’m not enthusiastic about it, I’m not writing a whole lot about these games, characters and shows I’m supposed to be really into. I’m just not enjoying the articles, thus they became work to me, thus I’ve decided to stop doing them for the time being. Especially the anime ones, I was running out of shows like nobody’s business!
So as you saw by the first new random article after the Spotlights stopped (the Why Wear Pants? article), the amount of weeklies has been lessened, so I’m not feeling like I’m forcing myself to write articles every day. I honestly did that in the beginning to keep myself committed to the blog initially, I wanted to prove to myself that I could keep up with this sort of thing, as I have a tendency to get bored of things really easily. But now that I’ve shown that I care enough about this page to keep it running for a full year now, I think it’s safe to spread articles out and bog myself down less with weekly articles and allow myself a little more freedom to write whatever I want to.
I’m keeping the “Waifu, FWB or One-Night Stand” articles on Tuesdays, those aren’t leaving. I’ve got at least 300 names still on the list, that ain’t running out anytime soon! The Saturday Morning Rants will continue to be a thing whenever I’ve got something outside of gaming, anime and sexuality that I want to talk about. The Top 10s won’t necessarily be a weekly thing, like I said, sometimes I don’t get around to them, or some weeks I literally just can’t think of one to do. Writer’s block happens once in a while, y’know! But other than those three days (Tuesdays, Saturdays, Sundays), anything else will be articles that I write off the top of my head, nothing is planned. It may be in response to something I see, something in the news, maybe it’s just something real personal to all of you lovelies out there. After all, how much fun is it writing about underwear and not wearing pants? A lot, actually.
I’ve also got some plans in the works that may or may not come to fruition in the new year. I am still trying to put together a couple of friends together to do a nerd culture podcast, we just can’t seem to book a day to get it started. I want to make more videos, but my current setup makes it difficult, so when I should be moved into my own apartment in the spring, I should be able to have more opportunities to do so when I’m not sharing a space with anyone else. Lastly, I’m talking with some other online personalities into working together on a project and that probably won’t start until the new year. So there’s a bunch of things in my head that I want to do, it’s just a matter of fitting them in with what I’m already doing.
So with all that being said, I want to leave by saying thank you. Thank you for viewing my content, whether it’s shitty or just kinda shitty. I especially want to thank a few people who’ve been hanging around here for a while now. Why they’re still here, I have no idea, I guess their masochists or some shit, I dunno…
So thanks to the following peeps:
- Anime_Girls_NYC – I’m pretty sure we could talk about ERASED forever if we wanted to.
- Arria Cross (aka Fujinsei) – Owner of my favourite comment thus far, because someone had to enjoy my Top 10 Sexy Boys post!
- CC – Gets extra props for wanting to try out Infinite Stratos, the best anime ever.
- Karandi – Who posts way too many comments on here. I fear for your well-being. You read too much of my stuff.
- p2d2 – Just for having a rational conversation with me on my Swimwear vs Underwear article, the first article I was sure I’d piss someone off with
- YahariBento – I really appreciated the Liebster nomination. We need to chat more too, by the way.
Here’s to a year of Radical Ranting and here’s to another year of sexy and thought-provoking content. Yes, those two things can be mixed together. And it’s awesome!
This will be a quick post today. Essentially today’s assignment was giving the blog page a title and tagline. Well I already have a title, so I added a tagline to it. “Defending Sexy Shit Since 2015”. Makes sense, don’t it? ^_^
So instead of just leaving it at that, I thought I’d give you all a background on my online persona and the title of the page, since they coincide. The blog page is entitled “Radical Rants” and I am known online as “CSRadical”.
To get to CSRadical, there has been a pretty long journey over the years of online gaming. The first time the Radical persona became something was probably…almost 15 years ago when I was in high school. I played a lot of Counter-Strike: Source back then and that’s when I first used Radical in my names. Originally it was simply “Radical Dreamer”, which if you are a fan of the Chrono series of JRPGs, you’ll know that name. I kept that name for a long time until I got an Xbox 360 and Xbox Live. By that point I had also been subjected to the Shin Megami Tensei series, in particular the Persona series, which I won’t shut up about nowadays (imagine how I’ll be when the 5th game comes out hopefully this year *crosses fingers*), so my first gamertag on Xbox Live was “radicalpersona”, a grouping of the two. After a while, I ended up joining a clan while playing the NHL series a lot and adopted the clan tan onto my gamertag. However I thought keeping the full name would make it too long, so I decided to drop the Persona and make the gamertag “TG Radical”.
Finally, we get to our resting place with “CSRadical”. After leaving the TG clan I was in, I decided to create my own gaming community as a place simply for people to have fun playing games together, rather than being super serious. The “CS” stands for Critical Strike, there’s really no significance to it, it was just a name that when I Google searched it, I wasn’t seeing any immediate results for other clans using that name. When the clan disbanded about 3 years later, you’d think I would’ve dropped the “CS”, but by this point in time I had become a huge professional wrestling fan again. The reason for that? CM Punk. So with him being my favourite wrestler at the time, the name “CSRadical” came off very well the same way his name does. So I kept it and it’s been the same till now. The “Radical Rants” has been a title I’ve used through YouTube and other blog attempts before, just rolled off the tongue well.
So there you have it, a little background on my name. Thanks for reading!