Tag Archives: Dead or Alive

Dumb Things Gamers Say #1 – Being Mad About Free Things

Well one day after saying “I’m not sure what kind of content I can do for the blog that’ll work immediately”, I already came up with an idea! Well, more like I stumbled across something that helped me come up with said idea…

So I frequent the internets once in a while. Which naturally means I read articles, or watch videos, or browse social media. Which means there are often comments on these things, which in turn means I will read things that make me go “…Really? …Really?!”

So there we have it! Enter a new series of (likely) short and sweet posts about stupid shit I read people saying in the comments section of various places.

This series of articles will likely have to be predicated on the notion that we all know people who write comments on the internet are generally either trolling, or they’re stupid. That’s kind of the fun of it though, isn’t it?


So Dead or Alive 6 has a free version now. The previous game had it too, allowed you to play the basic fighting modes, including online, but locking Story Mode and making a small number of fighters available. Right now, 4 are available, that being Kasumi, Bass, Diego and Hitomi, but I don’t know if they’ll rotate the fighters or anything. If you want to unlock more fighters, you either buy the full game, or pay a smaller price to buy individual fighters. Sounds fair, right? Being able to play a game that normally costs $70 for free in a smaller dose works for me.

Well…not everyone thinks that way.

I think it’s just the ol’ DOA stink because it’s “only ever been sold as a titty simulator”, but either way, there appears to be a bunch of people who are talking about how the game is either only doing this because their sales are low, or because now that they’re not being as overly sexual as they usually are, it’s showing that they needed the sexual content to sell their games. Regardless, they’re in a nutshell not just being like “Cool, there’s a free option.”, but instead having to take shots at a series they probably never cared about in the first place.

Which comes back to that whole “fandom” conversation, does it not? This could be Street Fighter, Soul Calibur, Mortal Kombat, or other fans of different fighting games just shitting on a series they don’t like. This could be non-fighting game fans just salivating at the opportunity of shitting on a fighting game that isn’t doing so hot, as it’s been a while since a major fighting game hasn’t been doing well. In the end though, it doesn’t matter, it’s absolutely childish if you go ham and rip on a series you don’t actually like anyway. You don’t have any passion there, why are you wasting your time and everyone else’s time? Save the critique and debating to people who actually play the games.

But the biggest problem I have is simply this. WHY ARE PEOPLE TAKING SHOTS AT A GAME FOR MAKING A FREE VERSION?!!! IT’S FREE!!!

Maybe I’m being a little unclear. Dead or Alive 6 is a major fighting game. That lots of people play. That has a pedigree. That has major production values. That has a diverse cast of characters. That has very underrated fighting mechanics. And now that game has a free version. It costs you nothing. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Sure, it’s not the entire game, but it’s a taste. It’s like getting a free sample when you’re at the grocery store. Y’know, except that sample is food you can eat as many times as you want!

Nah, they’re right. Getting things for free sucks. I’d rather pay high prices for mediocre content and then pay a ton of money on top of that for small amounts of content that if put together to equal the same cost of the game it’s for…it wouldn’t even be fucking close to the same value. Which is ironic given it’s Dead or Alive with their massive amount of outfits you can buy.

But no, I the all-knowing internet commenter, would rather spend my day talking about how bad the game must be if they’re releasing a free version of the game (and did it quietly, by the way), especially when that game is a titty simulator.

Seriously, man. Can we stop with the DOA titty simulator comments? We get it, the series has a lot of big-breasted girls and bikini outfits. Have you never watched anime before?

Top 10 Fighting Games

I love fighting games. I’m shit at them, but I love ’em! So this week’s top 10 is going to be all about fighters!

Now the rules are very simple. Since I’d have several Guilty Gear games on this list, it’ll be one game per franchise. That is all, so let’s get crackin’!

10

When you take the solid battle system of the recent Mortal Kombat reboot and apply it to the DC universe, you’ve already got a lot of people paying very close attention to what you’ve got. But a phenomenally good story mode, a vast list of playable characters are also contained in this game?! Yeah, you’ve got a solid effort there. And it’s probably the closest you’ll ever get to a good superhero fighting game to rival the Marvel vs Capcom series.

09

You can tell I haven’t played a lot of King of Fighters games when Maximum Impact is not far off the list of KoF games I would’ve picked. But ’98 is a solid game, for as much as I remember of it. I can tell you right away who I fought with all the time, either Iori, Ryo, or Mai (of course). The King of Fighters series is probably one I should take a look at again, I remember watching the newest one being played at Evo at it looked fantastic, so I’ve definitely gotta get into that.

08

I tried to find a decent picture of the logo, but this is the best I could come up with, shocking isn’t it? Aside from that, I really enjoyed Dead or Alive 2, long before I was really aware of the over-sexualization of the girls (not that I wasn’t looking then). I don’t think I ever played the original version, but rather the version that came in Dead or Alive Ultimate on the original Xbox. While people love to slut shame the Dead or Alive series, you can’t deny just how solid the gameplay is. But I will admit, I totally played schoolgirl Ayane, whipping everyone’s asses.

07

As awesome as this game still is, fuck this game! I’m so bad at this game that to this very day I still haven’t beaten Shao Kahn, 100% truth. Holy fuck this game kicks my ass and I know it’s not that hard! Anyways, tremendous roster, probably the best roster the series ever had (if you don’t count Mortal Kombat Trilogy or Armageddon) and one of the most memorable old-school fighting games out there. But still…fuck you Shao Kahn!

06

You know a game must be really good when it’s had two more iterations since, both super good, but when it comes to major eSports tournaments related to the Super Smash Bros franchise, they still pick Melee above the others. And for good reason, this game is easily the best SSB game there is. It pains me to admit that, cause there’s so many characters I wouldn’t be able to play, but it’s that good. Another game I wasn’t super good at (cause I’m a game behind before I can be a dick with Sonic), but no matter how badly I’d get my ass kicked, it was fun playing with friends. And it still is.

05

I want to put this game so much higher cause that’s how much I love the Persona series right now. But alas the #5 spot is the spot for this game. A bigger roster than the previous game, adding in the remaining Persona 3 characters that didn’t appear the first time, though the addition of Rise as a fighter was not very welcome from me, she never fought once before this game. But anything made by Arc System Works is fucking fantastic and when you mix that with my favourite series right now, you’ve got a match made in heaven. It looks great, plays great and the story mode is super good, if you can handle visual novels of course.

04

Okay, okay, okay, okay! I know what you’re thinking. Adam! Why the fuck didn’t you pick Soul Calibur II?! FUCKING LINK, MAN!!! And I get it, I understand. But the third game introduced Tira and I’m sorry, but no fairy boy is going to trump the crazy blue-haired ring blade toting crazy bitch who I am totally not be biased about whatsoever. But I do honestly feel like this game improved upon the already solid Soul Calibur II and made it even better. I love this game Tira!

03

A legendary game with a legendary roster. You may never in video games find a more varied, all over the place level of roster with some of the best names in the Marvel universe and some of the best names in all of Capcom’s library. And you take this crazy large roster, give them all very balanced and cool movesets and the gameplay is super solid?! Sweet mother of mystery, give us a chance to collect our jaws up off the floor! This is one of those games that will life on in infamy for a long time, given what it represents in the fighting game chronicles of history. Because being able to kick Hulk’s ass with B.B. Hood is hilarious.

02

The sheer number of times I played this game as a kid on my Super Nintendo, holy shit. It’s also the first fighting game I actually managed to beat the final boss in and that’s a big deal to me. You wanna talk about legendary games from the past, this is THE legendary old-school fighting game. Kicked a lot of ass with Cammy (while she showed hers off) and thought nothing of T.Hawk’s stereotypical character. Also slapped the shit out of people as E.Honda. Fuck yeah!

01

I will fully admit there is clear bias with this game. It’s not the best fighting game by any means, but it’s easily my favourite. It’s got my favourite art style, my favourite soundtrack and for fuck’s sake you can play as a tiny Japanese girl who fights with an anchor and summons dolphins out of nowhere and fight a large-breasted woman who fights with a guitar, all this while heavy metal is blasting in the background. That’s something you can do in Guilty Gear, you tell me what about that isn’t awesome?! That’s right, you can’t think of a good reason! So that’s why Guilty Gear is my #1 fighting game of all-time.

Heaven or hell…LET’S ROCK!!!

This Week in Sexy Games: Dead or Alive (A Look Back)

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I’ve already said my piece about the Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 situation, so that subject is being dropped for the time being. But with no new news about anything sexy in games being “controversial and offensive” (of course there isn’t now that I started a weekly article on the topic), I thought I’d look back at the entire DoA series and give my thoughts on the sexual content the series has contained.

I have to admit, I’ve not played a whole lot of the DoA series. I never played 1-3’s original copies, barely played 4 and 5. The only game in the series I spent a significant amount of time with was Dead or Alive: Ultimate. While my preference in fighters lies in the crazy 2D spectrum with games like Guilty Gear, BlazBlue and Persona 4: Arena, DoA Ultimate at the time drew a lot of my attention. The mechanics were very solid, the sounds and animations made every shot feel impactful and yes, as a young teenager of course I was drawn in by the alternate costumes the girls would wear.

It’s been the thing about the entire series that upsets people the most (well…that and the jiggle physics I suppose…), the costumes. The majority of them are relatively tame, some of them are actually pretty badass. But the ones that always get the most attention are the swimsuits and the schoolgirl outfits, whether it’s a school uniform or gym clothes. Of course, with the swimwear becoming a thing, eventually there was a smattering of fan requests for a beach volleyball mini-game, which ended up turning into the Beach Volleyball/Xtreme mini-series of games.

Personally, I have zero issue with the costumes themselves. To me, who cares what they wear, it’s their own choice, ESPECIALLY if they’re fighting someone who could break every bone in their body. Whatever works for them, I shouldn’t be one to judge. What I do have a problem with however is that there isn’t equal treatment for the guys’ costumes. In Dead or Alive 5, there is a MMA-pack of costumes for the guys with them featured in fight shorts with no shirt on. But if you truly want an even playing field, should there not be a DLC pack featuring all the male characters (yes, even the big fuckers like Bass) in either really short trunks or a speedo?

Which brings us to the main problem that is really going on with the series…

It’s very clear that the Dead or Alive series is built for men, actually no, let’s address something here no one ever mentions. Did any of these Social Justice Warriors ever think for a moment that maybe there are also, oh I don’t know…LESBIANS or BISEXUAL WOMEN who also enjoy these games because they feature extremely attractive women in revealing clothing? I doubt it.

So let’s clarify the statement properly. The Dead or Alive series is clearly built for everyone except heterosexual women. It’s arguable that with the male characters being very muscular there’s something there, but compared to the swimsuits, jiggle physics and more that there is far more attention given to the female characters of the series. And that shouldn’t be a problem, not every piece of media has to be inclusive to everyone! But since this has apparently become an issue all of a sudden (cause y’know these sexy outfits and games haven’t existed for over a decade now or anything…), then the middle ground should be simple:

This should also be a thing in Dead or Alive games. I’m not saying let’s add dong physics or anything like that, but if the women are going to have several bikini costumes, the men should at the very least also have a speedo costume. It’s only fair for female gamers who are only attracted to men.

I’m sure they’d love the butt bump mini-game in Xtreme 4 if Zack and Hayate were going at it.