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E3 2017 Press Conferences – My Thoughts

I didn’t get a chance to watch all the press conferences live, but I’ve seen all the trailers and gameplay footage that was shown. So while again this won’t be a massive paragraph-laden article, I will give my thoughts on each game shown at the various conferences this year with a simple response to each of them.

Here’s how I’ll rate every game. They’ll be in one of four categories:

  1. PRE-ORDERING IT RIGHT NOW!!! – I think that’s pretty self-explanatory, it’s a game I for sure will be playing.
  2. GO ON… – My attention is definitely piqued, it’s a game that will likely be one I pick up a little later in its life cycle once it goes down in price a little bit and it’s generally garnering a positive reaction.
  3. MEH! – While there may be some promise or potential there, the core concepts, the gameplay, story, visuals, etc., they’re just not grabbing me. It’s possible I’ll end up playing the game, but will likely fall wayside to to many others that are above it on the list.
  4. NOPE!!! – Whether it’s a game not suited for my style, or just a bad-looking game, it’s one I don’t plan on playing, unless it reaches Game of the Year appeal and that may not even be enough to pique my interest.

So in order, we’ll start with EA’s conference and work our way to Nintendo’s earlier today:

  • Anthem – MEH! (Due to showing nothing, see Microsoft for a proper rating)
  • A Way Out – GO ON…
  • Battlefield 1: The Name of the Czar – NOPE!!!
  • FIFA 18 – MEH!
  • Madden 18 – NOPE!!!
  • NBA Live 18 – NOPE!!!
  • Need For Speed: Payback – NOPE!!!
  • Star Wars Battlefront II – MEH!

I saw EA’s press conference live and it was an absolutely horrendous one. Putting aside the sports games for those who don’t care for that (I do, but they never show the NHL games), the conference was still really bad. Need For Speed looks horrible, Battlefront II was boring to watch and I’m not convinced Anthem and A Way Out are on the good path just yet.

EA’S OVERALL SCORE: 1.5/5

  • Anthem – GO ON…
  • Ashen – MEH!
  • Assassin’s Creed: Origins – MEH!
  • Black Desert Online – MEH!
  • Code Vein – NOPE!!!
  • Crackdown 3 – MEH!
  • Cuphead – PRE-ORDERING RIGHT NOW!!! (On PC)
  • Dragon Ball Fighter Z – PRE-ORDERING RIGHT NOW!!! (On PS4)
  • Forza Motorsport 7 – MEH!
  • Deep Rock Galactic – MEH!
  • Life Is Strange: Before The Storm – PRE-ORDERING RIGHT NOW!!! (On PC/PS4)
  • Metro: Exodus – NOPE!!! (Don’t play horror games)
  • PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds – N/A (Already on PC)
  • Ori And The Will Of The Wisps – MEH! (Looks gorgeous though)
  • Sea of Thieves – GO ON…
  • Shadow of War – MEH!
  • State of Decay 2 – PRE-ORDERING RIGHT NOW!!! (On PC)
  • Super’s Lucky Tale – MEH! (Looks great for kids though)
  • Tacoma – PRE-ORDERING RIGHT NOW!!! (On PC)
  • The Artful Escape – MEH!
  • The Darwin Project – MEH!
  • The Last Night – PRE-ORDERING RIGHT NOW!!! (I don’t care what the lead developer said in 2014, just shut up already…)
  • Xbox One X – MEH!

There’s a lot of games here, hell I didn’t even count all the ID @ Xbox games shown, because you see so little of them. Microsoft is certainly trying to get some players back after Sony lured them away (by trying), but I think the damage has been done, mostly self-inflicted by Microsoft themselves. After all, how do you sell a console that PC players would accept when they can play the very games you’re advertising on this console, on the PC they already own?

MICROSOFT’S OVERALL SCORE: 3/5

  • Dishonored – Death of the Outsider – MEH!
  • DOOM VR – MEH! (Don’t care for VR right now)
  • Fallout 4 VR – MEH! (Don’t care for VR right now)
  • Quake Champions – MEH!
  • Skyrim (Switch) – MEH!
  • The Elder Scrolls Legends – MEH!
  • The Evil Within 2 – NOPE!!! (Don’t play horror games)
  • Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus – GO ON…

Unless you were into VR, this conference was a whole lot of nothing, in my opinion. Other than Wolfenstein’s new game, everything else was either okay at best or not interesting at all. It’s clear that Bethesda may need to take a break from conferences, they’re just smacking the bottom of the proverbial ketchup bottle at this point.

BETHESDA’S OVERALL SCORE: 2/5

  • Beyond Good & Evil 2 – *faints* PRE-ORDERING RIGHT NOW!!! (Almost 15 years in the making, this was the moment this year at E3)
  • Far Cry 5 – PRE-ORDERING RIGHT NOW!!!
  • Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle – PRE-ORDERING RIGHT NOW!!! (If I had a Switch)
  • Skull & Bones – GO ON…
  • South Park: Phone Destroyer – GO ON… (We’ll see how expensive it’ll cost ya in microtransactions)
  • South Park: The Fractured But Whole – PRE-ORDERING RIGHT NOW!!!
  • Starlink: Battle of Atlas – NOPE!!! (For the sake of all our wallets)
  • Steep Olympics DLC – MEH!
  • The Crew 2 – NOPE!!!
  • Transference – GO ON… (Might just be horror, but it’s an interesting concept. Too bad it’s VR-based though)

There were some amazing moments in Beyond Good & Evil 2 and the shockingly good-looking Mario/Rabbids game, but there were also some unbelievably bad games like The Crew 2 as well. The conference was a mixed bag, but mostly good in the end.

UBISOFT’S OVERALL SCORE: 3/5

  • Call of Duty: WWII – GO ON… (First time in a long time I’ve been really interested in a Call of Duty game)
  • Days Gone – MEH!
  • Destiny 2 – PRE-ORDERED ALREADY!!!
  • Detroit: Become Human – GO ON…
  • God of War – GO ON…
  • Horizon: Zero Dawn: The Frozen Wilds – GO ON… (I’ve still yet to get the actual game)
  • Marvel vs Capcom Infinite – MEH!
  • Monster Hunter World – GO ON… (A massive get for Sony though!)
  • PS VR Games (Skyrim, FFXV Fishing, The Inpatient, Bravo Team) – MEH!
  • Shadow of the Colossus Remake – GO ON…
  • Spider-Man – MEH! (I’m not convinced yet, looks like every other Spider-Man game)
  • Uncharted: Lost Legacy – MEH!
  • Undertale – N/A (Already own it. PLAY IT!!!)

Sony just showed us a bunch of trailers, most of them without gameplay, so there wasn’t a whole lot to sink my teeth into. And overall, the games I wanted to see gameplay from never got it, so there was never really anything to excite me aside from Monster Hunter returning to the PlayStation and of course (because I’m a fanboy) some more Destiny 2 stuff.

SONY’S OVERALL SCORE: 2.5/5

  • Kirby – MEH!
  • Metroid Prime 4 – GO ON…
  • Metroid: Samus Returns – GO ON…
  • “Pokemon RPG” – GO ON… (The Nintendo consoles have needed one for quite some time)
  • Rocket League – N/A (Have it on PS4, great get for Switch)
  • Super Mario Odyssey – GO ON…
  • The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild DLC – GO ON…
  • Xenoblade Chronicles 2 – GO ON… 
  • Yoshi – MEH!

The immediate problem with the Nintendo Direct showcases, while I gave no real “bad” ratings, all these games were generally games we all thought would be coming, including Metroid Prime 4. They had to finally make it guys. Even the Pokemon RPG game, the consoles have desperately needed a good Pokemon game for quite some time, the handhelds couldn’t have all the spotlight. So the Nintendo Direct this year wasn’t bad per se, there just wasn’t anything of note.

NINTENDO’S OVERALL SCORE: 2.5/5


So who won this year’s battle of the conferences? By ratings, we’re narrowing it down to our two 3/5 rated shows, Microsoft and Ubisoft.

And the winner is…UBISOFT!!!

The official order at this year’s E3:

  1. Ubisoft
  2. Microsoft
  3. Nintendo
  4. Sony
  5. Bethesda
  6. EA

Strictly for the moment that was Michel Ancel getting very emotional about Beyond Good & Evil 2 finally being a thing he could be proud to show off, Ubisoft owns this year basically because they had the lone moment. I was 100% correct about my suspicions that this year’s E3 was not going to be overly eventful. There’s a lot of good games coming in the next year for sure, but I think it may also end up being one of the weaker years. After all, we’re running out of major surprises and legendary series that are consistently good, so in the next three years, all the major developers and publishers need to look at creating new IPs to really bring things back to how they were in the 3-5 years before this E3.

So, what did you guys think about this year’s E3 overall? What really excited you? What disappointed you? Share in the comments below!

Sony @ E3 – My Thoughts

This is my thoughts on Sony’s E3 press conference. This will not be a long full-length article on it, just a set of notes on what I saw during the press conference.

NOTES

  • That intro…the hell?!
  • Sound suddenly died on PlayStation’s stream, that’s really bad
  • Not interested in Uncharted enough to care about this extra content
  • Horizon DLC, I’ve still got to play that game
  • Days Gone…WERE THERE REAL PEOPLE HANGING UPSIDE DOWN ON STAGE?!!!
  • ZOMBIE BEAR!!!
  • Monster Hunter World, that is a huge get for PlayStation
  • Remastered Shadow of the Colossus. Wow.
  • Marvel vs Capcom, nothing too special in my eyes
  • CoD: WWII, no gameplay. Booooo!
  • Skyrim VR. Meh.
  • Starchild. Meh. Also did they forgot to take the VR logo off the screen?
  • The Inpatient, don’t know what it is yet, but sure
  • VR FFXV fishing! Woooooo! Oh wait, that’s terrible
  • Bravo Team, wooo…can we stop the VR stuff now?
  • Nope, guess not. Here’s Moss, looks like fun for kids
  • I’m still very curious about God of War, but I really wish we got some gameplay
  • Detroit: Become Human still looks good
  • I’m 100% biased on Destiny 2, so ignore me…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
  • Spiderman to finish? What a surprise! I’m shocked it wasn’t Last of Us 2
  • I have to say, watching the gameplay doesn’t confirm anything to me
  • Prophets of Rage for their highlight reel? What happened to all the EDM? I’m not complaining mind you
  • Miles Morales in Spiderman, but is he THE Spiderman or A Spiderman in the game?

THE GOOD

  • Huge gets in Monster Hunter and a remastered Shadow of the Colossus
  • Really strong list of games coming in the next 12 months
  • Destiny 2, told you I was biased

THE BAD

  • Very underwhelming overall
  • A lot of games, not a lot of gameplay
  • Streams were absolutely awful the entire way through for me, really took me out of things
  • Little too much time on VR
  • I reserve judgments for Spiderman, because it looks exactly like every bad Spiderman game before it

OVERALL SCORE: 2.5/5

Ubisoft @ E3 – My Thoughts

This is my thoughts on Ubisoft’s E3 press conference. This will not be a long full-length article on it, just a set of notes on what I saw during the press conference.

NOTES

  • Nintendo crossover, shocking how all the fanboys literally cheered for two grown men holding fake cartoonish guns
  • I like Shigeru Miyamoto, I really do, but the fan reaction was either way too much for way too little, or it was fake
  • Mario/Rabbids XCOM? I would play that if I had a Switch, without hesitation
  • I honestly have no interest in Assassin’s Creed anymore, to the point that even going to feudal Japan wouldn’t make me budge
  • What the hell does The Crew 2 have to do with the original game?!
  • I think half the audience is asleep after this Crew 2 showcase
  • SOUTH PARK FINALLY HAS A RELEASE DATE!!! (October 17th)
  • VR horror game? NOPE!!!
  • So they’re finally making a pirate game based on the good parts of Black Flag? Took them way too long
  • I’m mildly intrigued with Skull & Bones, my worry is that the ship combat could get extremely repetitive
  • Ugh…cue the cringeworthy Just Dance segment
  • I would really love to know how many people are still buying these games that warrant Ubisoft doing this every year
  • I love South Park, not enough to spend money on a mobile game
  • Starlink, aka spend tons of money on plastic shit
  • You know this crowd is fake when they’re cheering for a game nobody bought and played (Steep)
  • The idea of Steep being a way to play an Olympics game is a cool idea, I will admit
  • I have not been interested in Far Cry lately…I’m really interested in Far Cry 5
  • Death by farm vehicles!
  • It’s finally here…Beyond Good & Evil 2, it’s not what we thought it would be, but it looked fantastic anyway

THE GOOD

  • Mario/Rabbids being a silly XCOM game sounds unbelievably fun
  • South Park is finally coming!
  • Skull & Bones is a curious one
  • Far Cry 5 has got my attention after a few games in a row doing nothing
  • Beyond Good & Evil 2…need I say more?

THE BAD

  • Fake crowd throughout the entire event
  • Assassin’s Creed is over. I’m sorry, but I’m done with it
  • The Crew 2 was the most poorly advertised showcase of a game I may have ever seen at an E3 event
  • Just Dance’s yearly segment
  • South Park’s money grabbing mobile game
  • Starlink’s money grabbing plastic shit game
  • Steep while it’s a cool Olympic DLC, the game’s dead

OVERALL SCORE: 3/5

EA @ E3 – My Thoughts

This is my thoughts on EA’s E3 press conference. This will not be a long full-length article on it, just a set of notes on what I saw during the press conference.

NOTES

  • FOOTBALL!!!
  • Battlefield 1 came out in November. It’s first DLC will be out in September. Wow.
  • …REAL FOOTBALL!!!
  • I did like FIFA 17’s Journey mode, so I’m happy to see they’re actually continuing it, I felt it ended way too soon in FIFA 17
  • Need For Speed Payback is a pretty piece of shit. Cutscenes in the middle of races? Who thought that was a good idea?!
  • I’m not sure how I feel about A Way Out, it’s an interesting idea from an interesting developer, yet it looks so generic at the same time
  • Oh? A new BioWare game? Wait…where are you going! Come back! NO! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT NBA LIVE 18! COME BACK, BIOWARE! COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!
  • STAR WARS!!!
  • Can we never have voice actors speak to us about a game while in-character ever again?
  • We’re going to have a single-player campaign! ……….Now here’s some multiplayer gameplay for you!
  • Terrible mistake or NBA/Star Wars crossover?
  • The Battlefront II multiplayer was boring and should’ve been shut down after five minutes, if not less than that
  • Let’s spend five minutes on a fucking pay-to-win mobile app! Wooooooooo!!!
  • 30 minutes of Star Wars. No single-player campaign, no Visceral Games appearance, nothing of importance. Wow.
  • Showing more of Need For Speed that just buries itself further
  • Madden is back and TotalBiscuit’s stream I was watching for this, he decided to shut it down from here, called it the most boring E3 conference he’s ever watched and I agree, but I have to finish this…I don’t know how I’m going to make it!
  • I feel like the actual conference ended and now this is the post-show…all right, I’m done too!

THE GOOD

  • FIFA 18 continuing Alex Hunter
  • A Way Out looks interesting

THE BAD

  • EVERYTHING ELSE!!!
  • The biggest waste of 30 minutes of Star Wars possible! I don’t think you can fuck up any harder without just not showing anything at all!
  • Seriously! Cutscenes in a fucking racing game!

FINAL SCORE: 1.5/5

I Expect E3 2017 To Be Extremely Underwhelming

I really do try my best to not be pessimistic and cynical as much as I tend to be, but sometimes there are moments where you cannot help yourself and you have to feel this way. For me, this year’s E3 is that very example.

I don’t feel like there’s much to look forward to at this year’s E3. Personally, I think so much of what we’re going to see is going to be a lineup of things we’ve already known about for years now. I’m fully expecting to see at the very least a 70%+ lineup from Microsoft and Sony that will large in part be the same as what they showed off last year, the difference being for a bunch of these games, they’ll actually have release dates and the like.

For example, here’s what I’m positive we’ll see from Microsoft and Sony:

Microsoft

  • Project Scorpio (a third of their presentation will be about it)
  • Obligatory HALO something (game, film/tv series, there’s always something)
  • Red Dead Redemption 2
  • Crackdown 3 (which keeps not coming out)
  • Sea of Thieves (same deal)
  • State of Decay 2
  • Obligatory ID @ Xbox (because Microsoft cares about indies…)

Sony

  • The Last of Us 2
  • Uncharted: The Lost Legacy
  • God of War (aka God of War IV, but who cares about numbers anymore, right?)
  • Destiny 2
  • Days Gone (because we always need more zombies)
  • Death Stranding (and we’ll still know nothing about it)
  • Detroit: Become Human
  • Knack 2
  • Spider-Man (maybe)

Nintendo is the real wildcard here. Why? Well because we don’t really know what Nintendo has, because upon the Switch’s arrival, we had almost zero games for it aside from indie games and ports. But here’s the few games we’re sure to see from them:

Nintendo

  • Super Mario Odyssey
  • Splatoon 2
  • ARMS
  • Something Pokemon-related
  • More mobile games

Personally, I’m not holding out much hope for something crazy to come out and surprise me. I’m going into this E3 thinking this year is more about setting down foundations now, rather than trying to wow the fans away from their competition. Nintendo might go the surprise route, but that’s more because they have so much more room to throw in new things we haven’t heard about yet. Sony and Microsoft on the other hand, their shows are already pretty full assuming all their unfinished projects aren’t cancelled and being swept under the rug.

There’s a lot I’d like to see this year in terms of surprises and such, but here’s all the things I don’t think we will see that could be considered as much:

  • Beyond Good & Evil 2 (it’s never happening, guys)
  • Grand Theft Auto VI (Rockstar is going to be sucking on this tit for a long time before they start thinking about a new one)
  • Kingdom Hearts III/Final Fantasy VII Remake release date
  • Square Enix’s Avengers IP (I think they’ll talk about it, but not actually show anything gameplay-wise)
  • Metroid Prime 4 (I think if it’s coming, we’re still a year away from that announcement)
  • Cyberpunk 2077 (I think we’re also a year from this one starting to make the rounds)

I could go on and on about even less likely things, like y’know…a new Chrono game, a new Mother (Earthbound) game, things of that nature, but those pipe dreams will always be just that, a pipe dream. I’ve come to terms with a lot of these dreams never coming to fruition, in the way that I imagine a lot of Half-Life fans are finally accepting that Half-Life 3 may never arrive. So because of that acceptance, I truly do believe that this year’s E3 will not have as many surprises as we’ve come to expect in recent years.

Now could I be wrong? Of course I could, but my brain is telling me right now that there’s too much already on the list for all the three console makers to really shock us with something. Could EA, Bethesda, Square Enix, Activision, or any of those developers sneak something through at their own conferences? Sure, but my focus is on the three that truly matter, that being Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo. I think with a large lineup already, Sony doesn’t have much room for surprises, I think with Project Scorpio, Microsoft will be pushing it way too much to have room for surprises. Nintendo is the tricky one because there’s so much open, but is there anything truly surprising that Nintendo could come out with? I can’t really think of anything, is a new Metroid, Donkey Kong, Super Smash Bros., any game like that, is it all that surprising when it’s Nintendo’s bread and butter?

There will always be a big surprise at E3, but I just don’t feel like there will be nearly as many stories this year as we’ve had in others. This year will likely be more about a flurry of games coming out in the fall and Nintendo/Microsoft continuing to try and catch up to the hot start Sony had with the PlayStation 4 at the beginning of its cycle.

It’s always exciting when E3 rolls around. This year though, I’m going in with low expectations this time around.

Top 10 Moments @ E3 2016

There was a ton of stuff at E3 this year! While not my favourite E3 by any means, there was plenty to see and in turn, plenty to talk about from this year’s show and in particular the first two days of press conferences. So with that in mind, this is the Top 10 moments at this year’s E3 press conferences.

Keep in mind as always that these are based of my own personal tastes and opinions. Your list will be different from my list, that’s a given.

10

It was a huge shocker last year when Bethesda had their first E3 press conference and we saw the return of a classic franchise in Doom. It flew so under the radar cause we were all assuming that entire conference was a Fallout 4 announcement and we did get that. So you’d think after that first shocker with Doom the previous year that we’d be a little more prepared for this year’s conference. And yet at no point had I ever considered the potential of Quake being a possibility.

Now I’ve never played Quake, but I know how big that game was for a lot of people back in the 90s especially, one of the first true multiplayer arena shooters. So when that symbol popped up and Quake Champions was revealed to be a thing, I was more than aware how big a deal this was. And now with a new Quake coming out, this leaves plenty of potential for me to play this game for the first time.

09

If you read my Top 10 list for games that everyone likes, but I don’t, you’d know this series was a big one on my list. I never was a fan of the God of War games, I thought they were just dumb violent teenage angst games where you’d bash a button over and over again, I couldn’t get into them when they were being released. So imagine my surprise when seeing the God of War game we were shown this year at E3. It looks nothing like your typical God of War PS2 “classic” and for some reason, that intrigued me more than anything. Now does it mean I’ll play it? No, I’ll still be keeping a distance from it until I hear more. But for the first time ever, I’m at the very least paying attention to a God of War game. And that in itself is a big deal for me.

08

Anyone remotely aware of any and all things video gaming knows that the Resident Evil series has been nothing but the biggest joke in the entire horror genre. While Resident Evil 4 is listed as a classic, the game has been so far away from the horror genre for a long time and the terrible 5th and 6th iterations of the game were nothing more than shitty third-person shooters that just happened to get lost and walk into a horror genre type of story and setting. So you know that when the horror VR demo that was truly terrifying was revealed as (albeit a proof of concept more than anything) the 7th iteration in the currently laughingstock of a franchise, fans were absolutely ecstatic about the potential of getting a legitimately scary Resident evil game again.

Not that I’m going to play it, I watched what that demo was and if the game is anything remotely like that, I am so far out that you don’t even see me anymore.

07

One for the ladies and the gay/bisexual men, I can’t deny the significance of Norman Reedus’ digitized booty appearing on our screens at Sony’s E3 conference.

Oh and I guess Hideo Kojima showed up like a god, walking on the stage as it lit underneath him. I guess that happened too.

While we’re hearing that Death Stranding may not even see a release, more a test, a proof of concept if anything, the value of such a moment is huge regardless. The most iconic game creator in the industry right now after a terrible breakup with the company he was working with for years and years shows up on Sony’s stage and shows that not only is he still in the game, he’s weirder and more off-course than ever. And when it comes to Kojima games, that can only be perceived as a good thing.

06

I’m sure there are people still today as this article gets posted that still refuses to believe what they saw at Sony’s press conference was actually a Call of Duty game. And I can totally understand that, what we saw in that gameplay trailer at best looked like 25% a Call of Duty game. Why only 25%? Well the gun angle and the HUD, that’s it. The game looked cool and fun, that doesn’t sound like a current Call of Duty game now does it? But most of all, it looked unique, something so different from what we were accustomed to seeing in a video game. That 99% of the time is so far away from being a Call of Duty game and yet on that night, that 1% came through. I hate the fact I’m interested in a Call of Duty game again and yet I’m thrilled to see more of this game before its release. Who knew?

05

So you’re Sony. You just dropped a huge microphone a few years ago on Microsoft after their initial debacle with the Xbox One’s starting features. Now fast forward to last year when you absolutely shattered every other press conference with the reveal of The Last Guardian (with gameplay!), A Shenmue 3 Kickstarter and a FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE?!!!

So what do you do now to top that? Can you even top that? Looking at your lineup: No, there’s no way you could ever hope to top the lineup from last year. So how do you still make this year’s conference memorable? That’s right, you buy everyone their own personal stripper and a ton of cocaine for all! But that shit’s expensive (and illegal…) so what’s Plan B? An orchestra to play music behind every trailer you show? Damn, that’s not a bad backup plan at all!

The orchestra made everything that much more important, it made video gaming as an art form actually look respectable and most of all, it was so goddamn cool! Bravo, Sony. Bravo.

04

Now let’s be honest here, we all could give negative fucks about the actual game. But Ubisoft being the over-the-top, a bit off the beaten path kind of press conference every year, this was certainly a memorable thing to do, especially to kick off the show. Usually the Just Dance sections are fucking terrible, usually bringing out some shitty top 40 artist to sing and dance to promote the game and it goes off like a fart in church.

So taking Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” and having the goofiest dance routine and costumed dancers possible, that’s far better than having anything Ubisoft usually had for that franchise before this year’s E3. I’ll take a dancing lion any day.

03

Now I’m going to stress this right now, I could care less about Scorpio right now, mainly because I know the price point is going to be way out of my range for what I’d pay for a console. But what Xbox did show with not only Scorpio, but Xbox Play Anywhere, it really shows to me what the future of gaming will be in the next decade.

So let’s start with Scorpio. Essentially I’m going to look at this as console gaming while still not being able to completely catch up to high-end PC machines, they’re at least a viable option to those who wouldn’t be caught dead spending less than $500 on their gaming machine of choice. Also other than the price, I’m not 100% behind 4K gaming and super high-quality graphics, because honestly for me the graphics are secondary, I want the game and story to be good, not just look pretty. Also the technology isn’t cheap right now, I could care less about 4K because of that. The cheapest 4K TV I see right now is a 40″ for $550 and you can get a 1080p TV of the same size for half that. So I’m not quite behind something that’s double the cost.

Now with Xbox Play Anywhere, that’s a huge deal. Being able to play the same games on your Xbox One on your PC and maybe even on mobile devices. That’s huge, really huge. Actually having games available for both Xbox One and Windows 10 PC opens the possibility for me to have my PS4 and continue to play console games there, but also have any Xbox One exclusive I normally couldn’t play and now be able to play them on my laptop, which is pretty good and can handle that. I now essentially will have the ability to play everything from every console right now (until Nintendo NX becomes a thing) without compromise. And that’s a big deal.

Imagine in the next 5 years, we may no longer have a console race. Not because Microsoft won it necessarily, but because by allowing cross-platform play, they’ve effectively ended the war.

02

To start things off, that troll intro to the game, that was incredible. But then having Matt Stone and Trey Parker come out and just blow down the doors of proper presentations at E3 (though Aisha Tyler does that well too) and then show us so much more of a game that just takes so many fucking great shots at the absurdity of the comic book cinematic universe right now, including the “war” between Marvel and the still trying to catch up (and honestly failing) DC.

Every second of South Park: The Fractured But Whole was fantastic and comedy gold. The first bit where you (as Douchebag) nearly destroy the entire galaxy or in other words, piss off Cartman was pure gold, especially leading up to the game’s story being its “Civil War” between the friends. Your backstory was so fucking retarded that you can’t help laughing hysterically at it. And then leaving you with the “Good luck getting past Phase 1, DC!” line was just fantastic.

And even with all that comedy, the game also looks even better than before, the battle system looks sweet and heavily upgraded. That is how you properly show off a game, make it entertaining, engaging and memorable.

01

I hate this game. Because I know it’s going to be frightening and uncomfortable to play…

…Yet I can’t stop myself from wanting this game in my hands right now. I don’t do well with horror, fear, anything that makes me feel uneasy. Everything about We Happy Few gives off the vibes that that’s exactly what it’s going to do to me when I play it. Yet I can’t help myself, it was so damn good to watch, I have to play it.

The gameplay we saw at E3 could not have been presented better. Right from the very start, even if you’d never heard of this game before (which I hadn’t), you got enough information to understand that you’re in a world where everyone is taking way too many meds and are so happy it’s creepy as fuck. As you leave your office and walk around, you get the sense that so much is wrong, the place is empty. Then you see someone getting stabbed (I thought I was watching a murder) with presumably a ton of Joy and everything being hunky-dory again. Then of course you make it to the party and you get to the pinata. That was shot so well, the reveal of what was really going on was so shocking and from then on, I was hooked on the game.

I have to hope now that it’s not super jump scare ridden throughout the game and it’s not a game that intends to give you nightmares for the next month. If it’s what I saw in the trailer though, I’m all-in.


Thanks for reading this week’s Top 10! What were your favourite moments of this year’s E3? Lemme know in the comments below!

Saturday Morning Rant: Too Much Talking At E3

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This year’s E3 showed us a lot of things. Thankfully this year was not completely marred by a bunch of corporate bullshit buzzwords, useless gimmicks (aka Nintendo didn’t do anything this year) and games that were clearly being released to a general public that was not being listened to. So all things considered, this year’s E3 was decent at best.

However, one company really showed what an E3 conference should look like or at the very least strive to work towards becoming. Sony absolutely tore the house down with their conference, just rapid firing game after game after game to the hundreds of people in the venue and the thousands watching the streams at home. There wasn’t a whole lot of talking, it was just trailer after trailer and the people ate it up.

Now why is that? Why did people really enjoy the format and style of Sony’s press conference so much?

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The problem that most of the E3 press conference suffer from is quite frankly too much time being spent telling you that you’ll like the game and why, instead of just showing you the game so you can see why. Anyone can bullshit their way into making you believe something will be good, why waste your time and breath on that though when you can just show them? Also in this medium, visuals are worth far more than words and when a lot of those words end up being again, corporate bullshit buzzwords like “re-inventing or re-imagining” and “we listened to the fans” and my personal favourite “we’ve improved the physics/mechanics”.

Why the fuck should we care about such words? Those are not words and phrases that we should be surprised to hear, those are words and phrases that we expect companies like the five main press conference holders to just fucking go and do, they don’t need to spend time telling us that they listened to our suggestions, THAT’S WHAT WE FUCKING EXPECT YOU TO DO!!! You’re making a product for the fans, of course you should be listening to them, they’re the ones that pay your fucking paychecks in the end. The same goes for improving the game when you’re making a sequel. EA is notorious for saying this when they break out their yearly sports games. No shit, EA, you improved the game, that’s kind of what you’re supposed to do when you make a sequel to a game. No no no, next time, make it worse. And make sure you tell us that. Because that’s actually what you do to most of your games, you just don’t have the balls to tell us you got lazy and just wanted to make a quick buck of the retards that buy your games every year, no matter what.

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Now that’s not to say every press conference should be like what Sony did this year, absolutely not. Ubisoft has proven that having a show host can make the conference entertaining. Not to mention that if we stopped all the talking, we wouldn’t have gotten the hilarious moments with Matt Stone and Trey Parker for South Park: The Fractured But Whole. But there should be a stop put to the ridiculously long speeches about one game, like what EA constantly does with their games. Don’t spend 5-10 minutes talking about what will be in the game, give us 1-2 minutes of a quick synopsis of the game if it’s a new IP or 1-2 minutes of the major changes to the game. Then play a gameplay trailer for us so we can see everything we need to see in action, in real-time.

That’s the other thing too that too many games have happen to them. There’s just a cinematic trailer, or as I like to call them, the “nonsensical bullshit” trailer, because whatever we see in these trailers mean absolutely nothing in the long run, because what we see in a cinematic trailer could easily be null and void when put in gameplay form. Sometimes these trailers come out as proof of concepts when the game is only being started and that’s all right, but if the game is so early in development, then they also shouldn’t spend 5-10 minutes talking to us about the game, because the majority of what we hear may not exist in the final cut of the game, if it even sees a release. If you have a game in the early development stages, you shouldn’t spend more than 3-5 minutes on it, trailer included. We want to see new games that we’ll see in the next 12 months, not games we might see 3-4 years from now, something that has finally started to happen less and less over the years.

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The PC Gaming Show did this really well with their format. Almost no one got a ton of time to show off their games, they got a quick trailer, a quick interview live on stage and then we move onto the next game. Nothing got too much time, except for the sponsors which I will give a lot of shit to AMD for wasting way too much time on showing off a few new graphics cards and it was dull as fuck. But Day9 was a fantastic host for the show, he was quick, to the point and when he was interviewing staff from the game makers, he asked them questions that we wanted to know the answer to, no bullshit, no skirting around the subject, just to the point.

I know that a lot of gamers are suckers and will buy anything if the hype is high. But to press conference holders like Microsoft, Ubisoft, EA, Bethesda, Sony and even Nintendo if they decide to do shows again, please don’t waste our time. Don’t blow smoke up our asses, don’t give us fake information that’ll get us excited, don’t throw a bunch of corporate bullshit buzzwords at us that are merely there to make investors happy. Your majority audience at these shows are the gamers and you really shouldn’t be treating us like we’re stupid. Get to the point, show us gameplay and not just cutscenes using “in-game footage” which is code for “here’s all this cool stuff you won’t be able to do” and most of all, stop jerking yourselves off by telling us how good your games did.

Ubisoft and Bethesda were the kings of that this year. Bethesda claimed they had over 7 million players in Elder Scrolls Online, that can’t be true. Any research I do shows that at best they have 4 million ACTIVE players. Ubisoft did something similar with The Division. Folks, be honest with your audience. Don’t tell us the number of accounts, tell us how many are actively playing it. I’m aware you want to keep The Division alive and thriving, Ubisoft, but by acting like the game is a thriving community with millions upon millions of players is bullshit. I had 20 people on my friends list at launch actively playing the game. Today, I can’t remember the last time I saw anyone playing it. Bungie on the other hand has a lot to say on that front, their audience is still playing and thriving.

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So when you’re doing an E3 press conference, for the love of god just keep it simple. We don’t need two hours of watching company representatives jerking themselves off to their success, we don’t need two hours of people telling us why we should like this game and we certainly don’t need two hours of a game company presenting to us like we’re classy businessmen. Just show us your game lineup for the next two years, give us a quick synopsis of what to look forward to and if your games are truly that damn good, let them speak for themselves and show us how good they are.

Also EA, just stop with the sports interviews, they go off like a fart in church. Stop, just fucking stop.