Tag Archives: Roman Reigns

Goodbye (For Now), Roman Reigns

Last night on Monday Night Raw, we were given shocking news. Roman Reigns is leaving the WWE, as he’s been battling leukemia since 2008 and it has come back from being in remission. The Universal Championship has been vacated, the Crown Jewel title match (if it even takes place now, given the Saudi Arabia insanity) has been changed to just Brock Lesnar vs Braun Strowman and most importantly, the SHIELD is no more, especially after the remaining two members are no longer “brothers”, with Dean Ambrose turning on Seth Rollins. In the span of 3-hours, we got a hell of an emotional roller coaster, for many reasons.

I mean for starters, I’ll be completely honest here: I am one of the people who they call a Roman Reigns “hater”. I boo him at live events I attend that he’s featured in, I constantly complain about the results of his matches, his booking, his promos, everything the character does, I usually have cross words about it. But despite what all the folks online are saying, while I am indeed a Roman Reigns hater, I’m certainly not a Joe Anoa’i hater.

I don’t hate Joe the man, Joe the human being. I hate Roman the character, Roman the idea, Roman the thing that has been shoved down my throat for years as a hardcore wrestling fan who wants to see something different, something better, something with a shred of creativity. Y’know, creativity beyond spouting nursery rhymes and Sylvester the Cat quotes. I will still never get over that promo, guys. I’ve wanted to see countless other guys be given a shot at the main event card, but instead it’s Roman high atop the mountaintop, never budging. Even when he doesn’t get the pinfall, he still wins in the way he’s booked, in the way the announcers talk about him.

Roman Reigns was an underdog who rarely lost when it meant the most. One of the big four PPVs? Usually wins. First match of a big feud that the heel is generally supposed to win so the feud can keep going? Usually wins. Title match that doesn’t include Brock Lesnar as the champion? Basically a guaranteed win. WWE thought that a guy who wins a lot and has a massive list of major stars over the history of wrestling that he’s beaten, he’s supposed to be the underdog character. Roman Reigns, the man who systematically destroyed the Undertaker at WrestleMania, beat Triple H for the title at WrestleMania, was given the honor of breaking Kane’s Royal Rumble elimination record in his very first Royal Rumble, has had the Rock give him the rub, Daniel Bryan shook his hand in attempt to get the fans to stop booing the man. All of this. All of these accolades and WWE expected us to accept him as our underdog? Fat chance.

But it’s hysterical to me that people misunderstand the vitriol that fans like myself send Roman’s way. Death threats made by pathetic losers aside, the constant hatred, contention and negativity that we create is not limited to just “Fuck Roman!” or “Roman sucks!”, generally speaking there’s so much more to it than that. Early on in the “Boo Roman” saga, over and over again people kept saying (whether on social media, podcasts, etc.) why WWE doesn’t look at what they did back in the 90s with Roman’s cousin, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (they’re not actually related by blood, but through their Samoan family dynasty) when he was getting booed to holy hell in his initial run as a babyface, a good guy. They turned him heel and pretty quickly he became one of the most hated bad guys on WWE programming. He developed a new look, a new name, a new persona, found his voice and became the most electrifying man in all of entertainment today. But Roman, WWE insisted time and time again to keep him down the same path, figuring if he just keeps winning and beaten more top-name talent, the fans would eventually have to like him.

In the end, the vast majority of fans who booed Roman didn’t want him gone, they wanted him to be better, because in all honestly folks, since they started pushing him as a big singles star, he’s been terrible. Not in the ring, his ring work is a solid B, still needs some work, but he can wrestle well enough to be a main eventer. But his promos, his fucking childish promos, they killed him dead the moment he started going on his own. People seem to think that because the WWE is a PG show, that their main audience is families and kids. But in actuality, as research has shown (here) the core demographic keeps getting older. In 2000 when wrestling couldn’t be any hotter, the median age was 28. In 2006, a few years after WCW was gone, the age rose to 33. In 2016, the median age skyrocketed to 54. Yes, in 10 years the age on average shot up over 20 years of age. Why is this? Quite frankly, because wrestling isn’t cool anymore. Sports are becoming less and less cool altogether as most sports are seeing a similar increase in median age, but nowhere near what WWE is experiencing. But with mixed martial arts like the UFC becoming a more cool product, the younger sports crowd is moving away from pro wrestling altogether, leaving the fanbase to be either the kids that we’re seeing today, being sold John Cena neon green wristbands and Nikki Bella baseball caps (because nothing screams family friendly like a 34 year-old woman with fake breasts shaking her ass about in hot pants), or the holdout hardcore fans that have been watching the WWE since the Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage days.

We all wanted Roman to become better than what he was, because we saw him as something so much more than what WWE was portraying him as. This is a guy that could’ve been a take no prisoners badass son of a bitch, who says little and lets his fists do the talking. But instead, we got a guy who whined and complained when he lost to unfair bullshit from the bad guys, instead of just saying “I’m coming for you…” and like I said earlier, spouted childish nonsense like his “Suffering Succotash” promo. We wanted better and for years we got the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and–well, you get the idea.

Now that I’m done bashing the character, let’s finally get onto what happened last night. The promo felt reminiscent of Edge’s promo, when he retired after retaining his title at WrestleMania the night before. It came out of left field, here was my favourite wrestler who’d just won a big match at the biggest show of the year and he was retiring?! Sure, I knew he’d had a history of neck problems, but he looked good in that match, how bad could it have been?! With Roman though, this was straight up as out of nowhere as you could get. I don’t know if anyone knew that Roman had a history dealing with leukemia and from what I read, it seems no one really knew about this stuff. It’s something you gotta stop whatever you’re doing and fight, so there’s no “Well, maybe I can stick around a little bit and drop the title to X.”, it’s “You gotta go and get this taken care of NOW.”. Even a hardened veteran of hating Roman Reigns had to admit, this was different. This wasn’t a storyline where Roman Reigns now gets to beat cancer and add that to the list of big names he’s already beaten, this was Joe Anoa’i having to declare defeat.

The man’s been through a lot. Whether you like him or not, he’s put up with all the mixed emotions every night. He’s put up with the terrible scripts he’s been given, the storylines he’s been booked in, the matches he’s had to have that ended in the most nonsensical bullshit ways. Joe Anoa’i has earned the respect from wrestling fans for what he’s put into the business, plain and simple. So good luck, man, go kick cancer’s ass!

But Roman Reigns, the character that WWE has failed for 4 years trying to push as the biggest star in the business? I’ll be waiting to boo you once again when you return. Because even though Joe Anoa’i will beat leukemia and will make a big comeback, if the Roman Reigns character is still the same old bullshit I’ve been booing for years now, I’m not changing my stance. And I never will.

Believe that.

Four Years of Terrible Royal Rumbles

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I’m sorry in advance to those who are on this page for my usual anime/game related posts. I did say in November that I was going to stay away from topics like sports, specifically professional wrestling because I wanted to keep this page away from that kind of stuff and keep it down to two main topics.

But after tonight, I can’t help myself. I need to vent a little.

I didn’t watch the 2013 Royal Rumble, but I’ve heard people say it’s bad, so perhaps it’s now been five straight years of terribly booked Royal Rumble matches, but for me it’s just been four. Regardless, for the match that wrestling fans arguably look forward to the most every year, four or five straight years of the match being underwhelming is not good at all. In fact, for something that should be so easy to put together, the fact WWE has failed to do it so many years in a row now is such a shocking fact. I don’t pretend to be a master writer/booker, but holy fucking shit, how hard is it to book a match that’s full of surprises and fun moments and have the fans leave happy?!

Now I could do this rant in many different ways, but here’s how I’m going to do it. I’m going to separate every problem I had into separate talking points rather than turn this into a clusterfuck. So here we go:

#1: There were no real surprises
#1: There were no real surprises

Now before you question this, yes I am saying this despite the fact Tye Dillinger did indeed debut at #10 in the Rumble. But here’s my reasoning for why this isn’t a surprise. Did we all not expect this? Did we all not assume that with Dillinger doing nothing on NXT other than losing that it made sense for him to debut in the Rumble? I don’t consider Tye Dillinger a surprise entrant, so much as it being a surprise that the WWE actually listened to fans and didn’t pull out an easy booking decision from under us.

But in this year’s Royal Rumble match, there really weren’t any surprises. There wasn’t a real shocking debut, there wasn’t even a legend making a comeback for a fun 1-3 minute run in the match. Now this Rumble was pretty stacked so did the match need a legend return? Maybe not, but we’ve become so accustomed to at least one every year, so to not have one this year, it makes the match almost feel empty. The whole Rumble match has become a night of surprises and this match had none of that. Except WWE probably considered this year’s #30 as a surprise, which brings me to…

#2 - Roman Reigns AGAIN?!
#2 – Roman Reigns AGAIN?!

In the last two Royal Rumble matches, how did Roman Reigns’ involvement affect the match? Both times the crowd completely flattened out and turned on the entire match for the rest of the night. So after two straight years of the crowd giving zero fucks for Roman Reigns in the Rumble, what does WWE do? Put him in the final spot where people were expecting ANYONE BUT ROMAN REIGNS!!!

How many fucking times is WWE going to do this until they learn that no one wants him to be the top guy? Now you can argue that this entry had a purpose, it was to eliminate the Undertaker. But if that’s the case, did Roman have to take the last spot, could he not have been in the Rumble earlier? Once again it brings this idea that the WWE wants to give Roman special treatment, just like last year when they kept him out of the match for over half of it. But at least he didn’t win the match again this year, which brings me to the third subject I want to talk about…

#3 - Randy Orton. In 2017! Really?!
#3 – Randy Orton. In 2017! Really?!

Think about what this pay-per-view was. John Cena won the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Brock Lesnar, Goldberg and Undertaker showed up for the Rumble. And now Randy Orton has won the Royal Rumble.

I was not aware 2017 was the year of the time machine, because it feels like we went back 10 years.

Of all the people to win, why Randy Orton? It seems very apparent that the end goal for WrestleMania in Orlando is for Bray Wyatt to win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at Elimination Chamber and the match be Orton/Wyatt for the title. This program didn’t need the title, so why was this necessary?! At least if Chris Jericho won the Rumble, it would’ve made some sense, because Kevin Owens is the current WWE Universal Champion. But with Orton winning the Rumble, how the hell do you have John Cena lose the belt two weeks later, to Wyatt of all people?!

Which brings an even worse option. What if the “main event” at WrestleMania this year is Randy Orton challenging John Cena for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship? Oh my god, if the time machine theory was true, this would be the proof. I’m almost convinced that the match for this belt will be some triple threat or fatal 4-way where Wyatt and Styles would be included. Either way, Orton winning in my mind creates zero interesting results for WrestleMania matches. I do not understand the logic for Orton winning. How the betting odds put Orton so high, I don’t know what they knew but holy hell they got the right tip-off.


These were the three big things that really pissed me off with this year’s Royal Rumble match. There are little things I can go through as well, for example I didn’t like the whole Lesnar/Goldberg/Taker being part of the last five entrants, they really put a halt to any potential surprises (not that any happened anyways) by having three out of the last five spots already being figured out. There were also a few guys that weren’t necessary in the Rumble, Apollo Crews, Sheamus, Cesaro, Xavier Woods, Enzo Amore (it pains me to say it) there were a number of guys we really didn’t need to see in the Rumble, some of those spots could’ve gone to someone like a Samoa Joe, Tyler Bate/Pete Dunne and like I said earlier, a legend or two.

And honestly, it’s not like I hated the pay-per-view, I enjoyed pretty much all the matches on the main card. But the Rumble this year for me was meh at best and a really frustrating Rumble match from a booking perspective. Myself and the two friends I watched the Rumble with were all completely at a loss for how this match was structured, particular towards the end. And we’re not cut from the same cloth, all three of us have different ideas of how things should be done in wrestling, we don’t usually agree on everything. But this time, we all shared the same opinion: this year’s Rumble was quite possibly the worst booked Rumble match of all-time, or at the very least, the most confusingly booked Rumble of all-time.

Four fucking years. I can’t believe people are paid to write this garbage. Might as well get the¬†Fifty Shades of Grey writer to book next year’s Rumble.

Quickie: Y’know We Can Both Have Opinions… (WM 32)

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This morning I do what I usually do, today especially though: Check the r/SquaredCircle reddit page and see what’s going on. And this morning I discovered a very annoying thing:

People don’t like it when people have an opposite opinion of something. Like they really don’t. I know, shocking but this one hits hard because I downright hated WrestleMania 32 except for a single moment. There were some excellent matches, don’t get me wrong, but the booking could not have been worse this year.

The problem I’m really having with from reading Reddit comments are the sheer insults being hurled at people for not liking the show. “You are taking wrestling too seriously!”, “Awww, you didn’t like the winner of the fake fight?”, or “Why does anyone think this was a bad show?!”.

Now let me sit all you kiddies down for a second and reveal to you a massive fact that will blow your minds: SOME PEOPLE THINK DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU!!!

Some people watched WrestleMania last night and saw only the positives, some only saw the negatives, some saw both, being unbiased. But none of them are wrong! I didn’t reply to these morons who made some of those stupid comments saying “Oh good for you for sucking WWE’s cock all night long!” or “Congratulations, you’re just another brainwashed WWE fan!”, I have zero reason to say that sort of thing, it’s not my opinion, it’s theirs, why do I have any justification in telling them that their own opinion is wrong?

At the very least it should’ve just been a matter of “I actually liked the show, here’s why.” instead of a bunch of trolls and the like further pissing off those who genuinely did not enjoy the show. But it’s the internet, we all know how people operate there.

Personally, I’m mixed on the show. There was some great stuff in there, but it’s also overshadowed by some really bad booking decisions, at least in my opinion. WrestleMania is supposed to be the show that has people going home happy and instead we had a heel-dominated show and a main event that was so terribly booked it rivals WrestleMania IX with the Hogan fiasco.

So yeah, you’re all welcome to have a different opinion on this guys. Some of you loved the show, some (like me) did not.

Fucking deal with it and quit being a troll. You’re a loser, it’s no wonder no one likes you. ūüėČ

Is WWE Brain-dead or Something?!

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Anyone who consider themselves a hardcore wrestling fan has been asking this question for years now, really since the PG “Let’s go Cena! CENA SUCKS!!!” era began. Per Dave Meltzer on Wrestling Observer Radio talking about Eva Marie’s return to Monday Night RAW, this really does sum up WWE in a nutshell right now because they truly thought Eva Marie of all people would get a babyface pop upon her return to TV. Here’s an excerpt from Meltzer on his show:

“It’s like, you can never predict the audience, no matter how smart you are. And WWE.. you know, sometimes they can and sometimes they can’t, especially now. But this one? This one was a no-brainer. And the idea that they didn’t figure it out.. This was one where I was really surprised how they didn’t figure this out. This was an easy one. It is the typical WWE, they’re trying to go right, but they can’t help themselves from going left. They think that she (Eva) is so hot that everyone is going to like her. It didn’t work in NXT and it obviously didn’t work tonight. People have so much access to photos of hot women, that being a hot woman who can’t wrestle it doesn’t mean shit anymore. There was a time when it did with Tammy Sytch and Sable. But times change. If Braun Strowman showed up in the Hogan era, they could have done Wrestlemania with him and match would have sucked, but they would have drawn big money.”

What Dave Meltzer says is so key here. WWE for some reason can’t shake off the fact that the majority of wrestling fans no longer care about the looks of the performers, so long as they can wrestle a good match in the ring. The extremely high quality of the independent circuit is large and part the reason for that, along with other major promotions like New Japan Pro Wrestling, Ring of Honor, Lucha Underground and EVOLVE, wrestling fans are becoming more accustomed to higher athleticism, crazier moves, unique characters¬†and an overall better product in the ring. WWE however is still stuck in this early 90s philosophy that the most important thing is having hot girls, jacked up guys and tall monsters. But if they cannot wrestle at an even decent quality, they will not get over very well with the core fanbase that anyone with half a brain can figure out WWE is ignoring.

Zack Sabre Jr. vs Pentagon Jr. - PWG Battle of Los Angeles
Zack Sabre Jr. vs Pentagon Jr. – PWG Battle of Los Angeles

It’s comical to me that WWE is operating under the presumption that their current product will get over with the fans. There’s some truth to that but the problem is the fans that they are getting over with are the fans that honestly don’t really matter much in the scheme of things. The crowd WWE is marketing to is obviously kids and women. Well to quickly debunk that, it’s very apparent to me that you’ll never be able to get wrestling over with middle-aged women unless they were fans as kids, so marketing to the 30-54 female crowd is absolutely pointless. Keep Total Divas, I really don’t care, it can be its own separate entity and it’ll be fine, but it doesn’t need to spill into the main product like Brie Bella having a match with Summer Rae on RAW because of a verbal disagreement because of scooters (not fucking joking). As for the kids, let’s be honest here, kids will cheer for anyone if they win a lot. Are they really cheering for John Cena and Roman Reigns because they think they’re cool, no they think they’re cool because they win all the time. If Zack Ryder won 90% of his matches, they’d cheer for him too.

The proof is in the numbers. Taking from a WWE-official release showing their viewership in 2014, only 33% of their viewers are female and only 21% are under the age of 18. Their core demographic by the numbers are male and over the age over 50, being the highest at 35%, while 18-34 make up 23% and the final 21% are 35-49. And as we all know, once you get to a certain age, especially past 18, you don’t want to be partaking in content geared to children because quite frankly, it’s boring, repetitive and just plain shit. And when these (mainly men) fans get older and they see the product evolve everywhere except the company that’s supposed to be the best of them all, of course it pisses them off.

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One could argue that if the product is geared towards children, the adult audience should be taking a step back and understanding that the product isn’t for them. But here’s the problem with that argument: The wrestling audience in WWE has always been at best a 25% child audience. Do the math, at all times during WWE’s history, the overwhelming majority of their fanbase are adults. Should you not be concentrating the most on your main demographic? That’s pretty standard business practices and you don’t need a degree in business to figure that out. And the idea that parents will pay exorbitant amounts of money for their kids on WWE merchandise is a pipe dream. They’ll buy for a couple years and then their kid will get bored, as kids always do and then the money train stops. These 50+ old fans, they’ve been around for 30+ years and often have more disposable income. To ignore them is just plain stupid.

It’s become blatantly obvious that Vince McMahon and the yes-men underneath him have completely lost touch with their fanbase. They might be turning a profit, but they could be making so much more money if they built a higher quality product, not a “better looking” product that’s PC and caters to everyone. WWE, the sport of professional wrestling will never be for everyone, the Austin-era is the closest you’ll ever get to wrestling being popular in the general public.

The level-headed of the hardcore fans understand that you want to include everyone and that’s an admirable goal to have, no one’s denying that. But if your core fanbase isn’t behind what you’re doing, you’re doing it wrong. Get your core fanbase back into the product at full-speed and then try to slowly slip in things to attract outside viewers, see what works, see what the core fanbase immediately is against. Find that balance, because the “balance” that you’re running right now is so lopsided I’m surprised your children and women fanbase aren’t drowning in the metaphorical ocean.

And to finish off with where we started, how did you possibly believe Eva Marie would get cheered, WWE?! NXT is not its own fanbase, it’s the core fanbase only at these events, they also happen to go to the main shows too, y’know. Eva Marie is pretty, let’s not deny her that (though the pounds of makeup help her a lot), but she’s been in the company for 4 years now and is still a worse wrestler than some of the newest talent in the performance center right now. Hell, I think the Tough Enough girls can give her a run for her money. Your core fanbase isn’t just into hot girls anymore, WWE. Take a look at Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks. They’re absolutely stunning women, but they’re also the best at their craft. Trish and Lita were the same way, they were hot women and the best female wrestlers on TV, that’s why they worked so well. Just being sexy isn’t going to work anymore, it’s why guys like Roman Reigns and Braun Strowman aren’t working out either, just looking big and strong or big and scary isn’t enough anymore. You have to be good in the ring as well, it’s why guys like Daniel Bryan, Dean Ambrose and likely Finn Balor will be when he’s called up, fans love those characters not because they’re cool, but because they’re cool and can wrestle circles around people.

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Figure it out, WWE. It’s obvious this WrestleMania will be a bad one for you, the boos will be loud and clear. Make this the last year you guys run into this issue. It’s not hard to solve the problem when a bunch of idiot wrestling fans like me can figure it out.

The Ballad of Roman Reigns

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Let’s just get this out of the way right now. I am not attempting to be a “smark” here, I’m not intending to downright destroy Roman Reigns and I’m not trying to act like the always negative wrestling fan, particularly the negative WWE fan.

But if you think that there’s nothing negative going on with Roman Reigns and how he’s being booked, you really need to step away from the WWE-branded Kool Aid you’re drinking.

Roman Reigns & Triple H - WWE Fastlane 2016
Roman Reigns & Triple H – WWE Fastlane 2016

It’s been blatantly obvious since the breakup of the Shield almost two full years ago now that the rocket has been firmly attached to Roman Reigns and come hell or high water, WWE is going to get him over, damn it! Even wrestling fans who don’t keep up with the behind-the-scenes of wrestling are getting sick of one guy being shoved down our throats constantly with the expectation that we will give him full praise.

He’s become John Cena 2.0, as in he’s marketed as the guy and the only guy that matters in the company. He rarely loses and when he does it’s certainly not often¬†a clean loss. And in terms of the crowd reaction, it’s almost the exact same: The little kiddies and the girls cheer for him cause he’s a pretty boy tough guy (which is funny cause he’s married and has a daughter), while every male fan over the age of 14 loudly boos him. The only thing missing is for Roman to start painting his Kevlar bright orange.

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The most damning part about Roman Reigns right now is his character. Does he have¬†a great look? Abso-fucking-lutely, who is disagreeing with that positive WWE fans?! Roman Reigns looks fucking badass, he’s a big guy, the tattoos make him tough, he’s got a Kevlar vest on so he looks like a badass mercenary and he’s got the long hair and facial hair to match that persona. The only problem is he doesn’t act like a badass mercenary! He doesn’t act as he looks so to a crowd that wants gimmicks to match the personality, it’s absolute garbage. Of course kids won’t care, they just want to like winners, that much is obvious, but to a crowd who actually loves professional wrestling and not just John Cena, they’ll take it more seriously.

And that’s something that really sucks right now with the younger wrestling fans. I am more than willing to bet they could give a flying fuck about professional wrestling as a whole, they just want to see their hero and be done with it. On several podcasts and blog posts, I’ve heard plenty of stories of people sitting in the crowd near of next to kids in the audience and they sit on their hands until John Cena comes out. Then they want to go home. They’ve seen their hero, now they’re bored cause the anticipation is over. Roman Reigns given his character should not be turning into that kind of person to the crowd, he should be someone making everyone interested in the rest of the product if he’s supposed to be the main guy. If you’re the flag bearer people should want to watch the entire product because of you, not just wanting to watch you and nothing else. It’s no wonder the ratings are dropping when John Cena’s been gone, the casual fans only wanted to watch him so with him not on TV for a while, more kids are giving up. Roman Reigns should not be a part of this trend.

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So what should WWE be doing to fix Roman Reigns? Certainly not sending him out to talk for 15 minutes while spouting random nursery rhymes and Looney Tunes references. Take a long look at Roman Reigns. Go on. I know it’s not going to be hard for the female fans at least. What do you see when you look at Roman? Do you see a funny man? Do you see a guy that should be solely admired by kids and girls looking for something to picture when they touch themselves? Or do you see a guy that should be kicking ass, taking names and speaking few and far between these ass-kicking appointments?

Roman Reigns is physically designed to be a badass mercenary. So why is it that he’s speaking like a child? Nursery rhymes, Looney Tunes, testicle jokes, this is the kind of dumb shit an elementary school kid would do. I already said it before, kids will gravitate to winners. They would cheer for Heath Slater if he won 90% of his matches, I guarantee it. So why turn this potential badass into a character who speaks to kids when you can have him still be that badass and so long as he wins enough matches, the kids will like him anyway. When Roman comes out, he should be a man of few words. For example after winning at Fastlane on Sunday, the following night on RAW, this is the kind of thing I’d have Roman say (and this is a full promo):

“Six weeks. Six weeks Triple H is how much time you have left. At Wrestlemania, I can…and I will beat you in the middle of this ring and I will become the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion. So start counting the days and start planning. You put me against 29 other men and yes, I lost. But in six weeks, Triple H…it’s just you and me. And one-on-one…you can’t and you won’t beat me. Tick-tock.” *drops mic and leaves through the crowd*

No jokes, no shots at the size of anyone’s balls and most importantly, no stupid smile on his face that he sometimes has, looking like he’s Tyler Breeze taking a selfie. Straight-forward, to the point, looking like a stone cold killer as he says it. He’ll come off cool to the kids, mysteriously sexy to the girls and a badass motherfucker to the guys.

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The other key is his booking, something WWE has messed up terribly with him. It’s not even that he wins all the time, it’s how he wins all the time. Now even in his Royal Rumble loss, they fucked up badly with him. They had him leave for almost half of the Rumble and come back looking brand new. They’re marketing him with the never give up attitude John Cena has, so why is he walking out (on his own power no less!) of the match? Shouldn’t this badass babyface be wanting to stay in the match and fight it out? Then at Fastlane, he powers out of a submission hold from a real UFC Heavyweight Champion. If some of the best athletes can’t escape that hold, neither should he. And then after that he takes three HARD chair shots to the back and two seconds later gets up and spears Dean Ambrose for the win like nothing happened. But Brock Lesnar, the badass motherfucker that was destroying them all match and got up from two table powerbombs stayed down after the same level of chair shots. Okay, WWE.

When Roman wins, you’re more than welcome to book a hard-fought comeback, no one has a problem with those. But be intelligent about it. Remember when Cena beat the Nexus after being DDT’d on the concrete? No more shit like that. If you’re going to have him get brutally destroyed like that, he shouldn’t be winning the match unless he manages to do the same to his opponent later on. No massive beatings and then all of a sudden he hits one spear and it’s over. Here’s an idea, have him win with a rollup once in a blue moon, make it seem like he barely managed to walk away with a win. It puts the heel in the situation over to, cause he lost to a fluke surprise pin. And then against the right opponents (get some smaller jobbers, WWE!) have him annihilate opponents leading up to PPV main event matches. Make him look strong so when he has to claw his way to victory against other main event talent that they look strong too. Did anyone ever believe Rollins could match up against Reigns? Not with that booking. Who can conceivably challenge Reigns? Only Lesnar as far as I see it and that’s something WWE has to rectify.

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I don’t hate Roman Reigns, I’ve always like him and the idea of his character. But WWE has clearly dropped the ball tenfold when it comes to his booking since the breakup of the Shield. I truly believe he can be a main event talent, but the guy? I’m not 100% convinced of that. But he’s definitely near the top, which is crazy given the amount of time he’s been in the business.

So take it easy, WWE, he’ll become the star you want if you let him get over organically. Did you put the rocket to Austin, Rock, Hart, Michaels and all those stars? No, they got over with the crowd first and then you pushed them up. Roman did not ever get over organically, you rocket-shipped him. That’ll work for a portion of the audience, but not your hardcore fanbase which will pay for the Network, merchandise, pay-per-view and television shows.

The casual fanbase? They’ll buy a couple things here and there. But they aren’t paying thousands for Wrestlemania, they’ll pay $50 a ticket for a live event. Why do you think he gets more cheers at live events than TV/PPV?

It’s not that hard, WWE. Use your brain.

What Should Happen in the 2016 Royal Rumble match?

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So this Sunday will be the Royal Rumble. The past two years, WWE has made an absolute farce of the match, both times having to do with Daniel Bryan, the second time also having partially to do with Roman Reigns. So with this year’s Rumble not only being for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, but the match that will truly show us just how Roman Reigns is going to be booked for the rest of his career, I figured I’d answer a bunch of questions I’ve seen asked and I’d like to answer about the match itself.

Question #1: Should Roman Reigns win the Royal Rumble?

Answer: No, absolutely not. This also has nothing to do with me not liking Reigns, this is purely to save him from becoming John Cena 2.0. Personally, if you really want to get the fans behind him again, don’t have him be the last person eliminated, don’t have him even in the final four. Give him the same spot Daniel Bryan got, but y’know what? Let’s do it even better. Have him eliminated right away by entrant #2, Brock Lesnar. That way when they fight next, Roman’s beyond an underdog in the match, Brock took him out of the Rumble before he even got his feet wet.

Question #2: So if Roman’s not winning the Rumble, who should?

Answer: Easy. Brock Lesnar. Ideally, you set up their second match at Wrestlemania 32, a la Tanahashi/Okada at this year’s Wrestle Kingdom. Have Roman come out after the Rumble and admit he got cocky last year, thought he was invincible and would’ve easily won. This year however will be different, he knows he had to work harder and now that he won the championship (twice too already…), he understands the responsibility of being the man. Should he bet Lesnar this Wrestlemania? I say no, but that’s another day of booking.

Question #3: Should Daniel Bryan be in the Rumble?

Answer: If Roman exits early, yes. If he is planned to be at the very end and win it though, not a chance and I’m positive WWE knows this now (if they don’t, they’re fucking idiots). The whole “Is Daniel Bryan Healthy?” situation aside, if he is cleared to compete, he should only be in the match if Roman’s not the focus at the end (which he will be) and if you’re setting up a feud, perhaps with someone like an AJ Styles? Speaking of…

Question #4: Should AJ Styles be in the Rumble?

Answer: Abso-fucking-lutely! I don’t give a fuck about it not being a surprise, you could tell me he’s coming out at #24, I’m still marking the hell out at #24! If you want to make this guy a serious competitor on the roster, debut him in the Rumble and actually have Cole/JBL put him over, none of this “Oh my!” crap either (I’ll get to more of this later). Make Styles look important, he’s such a key player, he deserves to be in the¬†Rumble match even though he’s never wrestled a match¬†in WWE yet (not counting Velocity). And¬†not only that, have the wrestlers look at him¬†as if to¬†say “Ohhh shit…”, because¬†THEY SHOULD KNOW WHO HE IS! He’s one of the best wrestlers in the world currently, who gives a flying fuck that he hasn’t been in WWE, where apparently everywhere¬†else doesn’t exist.

Question #5: Should there be any not-serious surprise entrants in this year’s Rumble?

Answer:¬†Like the Boogeyman? No. I don’t want to see any comedy names like Santino, I don’t want¬†any legends¬†that are too old to be considered a threat like¬†say¬†Scott Hall or Jake Roberts. This Rumble is for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, if anyone’s going to make a surprise debut or¬†return,¬†it needs to be someone who we can consider having some sort of chance to win it.

Question #6: Should any NXT stars be in the Rumble?

Answer: There are a couple I could conceivably accept being in the Rumble. Finn Balor, but only if you’re debuting the Balor Club, which honestly would make zero sense to me. So that leaves one person and that’s Samoa Joe. No one else in NXT right now can be considered a threat in the match, not Apollo Crews, not Baron Corbin, not any other NXT talent. Except one name you wouldn’t expect.

Question #7: Should any female talent be in this year’s Rumble?

Answer: There’s only one name right now that could work in this match and that’s Asuka. There’s zero chance of it happening, let’s be honest, but if there’s any female talent that could do something in the match, it’s the woman who we believe could actually knock a couple guys out. Can you imagine Asuka kicking the shit out of Tyler Breeze, or anyone in the Social Outcasts? That would be an incredible moment! But as far as we know, she may only be an NXT talent during her time here in WWE, so that possibility is extremely unlikely to ever happen, let alone this year’s Rumble.

Question #8: Should Mauro Ranallo be calling his first WWE pay-per-view at the Rumble?

Answer: That is a stupid question, of course he should. Take out Saxton or Lawler, whoever the third would have been, and stick Mauro in there. Yes, he’ll have to somehow mesh with Cole/JBL, but if there’s anyone who could make those two bearable, it’s Mauro. And you know he’d get a surprise entrant like AJ Styles over.

Question #9: Who will be have the most memorable spot in the Rumble?

Answer: I think this year may be the first year we get two unique elimination avoidances. One of course from Kofi Kingston, who may employ the New Day as help with it. The other could be Kallisto, who I think should have that memorable spot. We know they need a Latino star to get going and they’ve been trying to push him as of late (when not having him lose the title the same week he won it), so it makes sense to give him a special moment in the match.

Question #10: Who will get the most eliminations in the Rumble?

Answer: If it’s Reigns, I will cringe. He’ll have already surpassed John Cena in eliminations if he does. It should be Brock Lesnar, let’s be honest, but that all depends on the number he draws. With Reigns at #1, the chances of him getting the most eliminations increases tenfold and with WWE/Vince’s current booking of him, you know they figure if he breaks his won record, the fans (for some strange reason) will get behind him even more.

Question #11: Will the entry order seem fixed against Roman Reigns?

Answer: I imagine so. The League of Nations will all come out closely together and I still have a feeling Triple H will be #30 and possibly win the title. I want them to not do this, but I know they’re going to book the entire Rumble around Roman trying to beat 29 other men. It makes sense, right? The one match where it’s supposed to be every man for himself and it’s become everyone against Roman. Because that’s how you get someone over, you make them beat 29 men in the same night. Yeah, that’ll get the smart crowd to like him, make everyone else on the roster look incompetent.

Question #12: What do you think is going to happen at the Rumble?

Answer: Whatever I don’t want to happen. I’m willing to bet the entire match will be exactly this, except one of three endings. Roman will spend the entire match barely hanging on. The League of Nations will come out¬†in the¬†early, mid 20-s spots all in a¬†row¬†to constantly wear him down after he’s already gassed and somehow Reigns will eliminate them all. Lesnar will be somewhere between #25-27 and will destroy everyone else to the point that it’s just the two of them when #30 comes out: Triple H. Whether Reigns just eliminates Lesnar or not depends on the ending. So here’s the 3 possible endings

  1. Roman somehow beats the odds. *vomits*
  2. Brock Lesnar eliminates him to win (Triple H will not be in the Rumble).
  3. Triple H comes out at #30 or better yet, after Roman perceivably wins the Rumble, there’s a special #31 entrant unbeknownst to everyone and it’s Trips. He beats Roman to win the title.

Either way, we have Roman in the main event at Wrestlemania 32 whether we like it or not. It’s a matter of whether his opponent for the championship is Brock Lesnar, or Triple H.


So there you have it! That’s what I think we’ll be seeing in the Royal Rumble this Sunday? Got any thoughts? Leave ’em in the comments below!

WWE TLC: Review (from reading the results)

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Remember how I said in my blog post when I stated I was only going to watch NXT for the foreseeable future? I’m still sticking to that. But that doesn’t mean I won’t keep up with the results of the main show. So I read the results for last night’s TLC pay-per-view and here are my albeit short thoughts on each match:

Pre-Show: Sasha Banks def. Becky Lynch – I heard they tried to have Sasha Banks do comedy, similar to New Day. Dear WWE Creative, do you watch anything from NXT to familiarize yourself with a performer and his/her character before he/she arrives on the main roster? If so, you’re not allowed to have any alcohol or drugs on the premises from now on, cause clearly you saw something that wasn’t there. They’re killing Sasha by having her do shit like this.

Least she won though, no thanks to two other women. Cause y’know on WWE television heels can’t be bad guys AND strong wrestlers that don’t need outside interference.

New Day def. The Usos & Lucha Dragons to retain WWE Tag Team Championships – Two things I heard. Xavier Woods was hilarious on commentary, which I take half and half, I’m sure he was funny, but I imagine he was a little overwhelming too. The other, apparently Kallisto had a deathwish, hitting the Salida del Sol from the top of the ladder onto another ladder. Sounds like they also destroyed most of the crowd’s vocal chords for the rest of the night.

New Day obviously should still be the champs, I think they should be keeping them until an NXT tag team arrives on the main roster, whether that’s Jordan/Gable or Cass/Enzo.

Rusev def. Ryback – Rusev wins. Next!

Alberto del Rio def. Jack Swagger to retain the WWE United States Championship – Why does this belt still exist? Just merge the US Title and the IC Title already, for fuck’s sake! We got the John Cena open challenges out of the way, now let’s do what should’ve been done two years ago!

Also Del Rio won. And Jack Swagger was on a pay-per-view. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…

Wyatt Family def. Team Extreme – Not only did the Wyatt family win against a bunch of guys way past their prime (don’t get me wrong, I love ’em, but still!), but the only one eliminated is the one who shouldn’t be in the company anymore. I can’t really complain with that result.

Now we’ll move onto the Royal Rumble where they’ll face team WCW and beat the holy fuck out of them too. Cause Vince would love nothing more than another opportunity to bury WCW.

Dean Ambrose def. Kevin Owens to become the new WWE Intercontinental Champion – *sigh* And thus begins the slow decline of Kevin Owens. It was good while it lasted. Unless WWE gets their heads out of their asses and have Sami Zayn surprise everyone by entering into the Royal Rumble (DON’T LEAK A SURPRISE FOR ONCE, YOU IDIOTS!!!) and eliminating Kevin Owens, thus restarting their feud from NXT. Otherwise, Owens is fucked.

I should be happy Ambrose is the champion, but the price we might be paying could be greater than the prize. Though with what happened in the main event of this show, perhaps he’s losing the title tonight on RAW.

Charlotte def. Paige to retain the WWE Women’s Divas Championship –¬†Was Charlotte or Paige the heel? Was Charlotte or Paige the babyface? Was Charlotte or Paige supposed to be the cheater? Was Charlotte or Paige, oh fuck it I can’t do this any longer, my head hurts.

Charlotte should be a heel, but so should Paige right now, she comes off like a spoiled brat, bitchy entitled girl. So here’s an idea, WWE: push Becky Lynch as the top face (since you’re almost done completely ruining Sasha’s character) and get set to call up Bayley. Cause you have zero women people want to cheer for to win. The only cheering they’re doing is for the camera angles on their breasts and asses to get in real close.

Sheamus def. Roman Reigns to retain the WWE World Heavyweight Championship – It still hurts my brain beyond anything I’ve ever felt before to think this is the main event of the final pay-per-view of the year. From all accounts it seems like they put in a good effort, but the crowd just didn’t care because of A, the two men in the ring and B, everything in that match had already been done prior on the show.

The League of Nations interfere, Sheamus wins. Roman has no friends or family apparently, even though he and the entire WWE claim he does. But they sure as hell didn’t show up, you can’t expect me to believe Wade Barrett (who didn’t interfere along with Rusev and Del Rio) kept both Dean Ambrose and the Usos from helping Roman out.

Afterwards, Roman snapped and beat the holy fuck out of everyone, something he should’ve been doing from day one. How the fuck is it December of 2015 and they just realized this is the best Roman Reigns they can do?! What should happen tonight on RAW is he goes out and interferes in every match involving the League of Nations (no 6-man tags WWE, have them all with individual matches and spread them out so you have backstage vignettes where they freak out about Roman could come and beat the shit out of them too) and then in the end have him kayfabe injure Sheamus to the point Ambrose and the Usos come out to calm him down and then he turns on them and destroys them too.

Roman Reigns should not be a face or a heel. Just a man who has lost all sense of reality and punches everything that moves. The only person that matters to Roman is himself. No alliances with either heels or faces, just him. Everyone isn’t safe from him, not the babyfaces, not the heels, not the Authority, not the announce team, not the timekeeper, not the cameraman, not even the women Divas. No one.

Overall rating of WWE TLC (just from reading the results) – 4/10

Even reading about WWE is depressing

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Really?! Tater tots?! I hate you so much right now, WWE…

I wrote an article two weeks ago about how I was going to stop watching RAW and Smackdown and just concentrate on NXT, the one WWE-branded product that hasn’t been insulting my intelligence this year. However that doesn’t mean I’m not keeping up with what’s going on, I just go through other channels, reading articles and podcasts, particularly Wrestling Soup and Solomonster Sounds Off. And everyone seems to be in agreement:

WWE sucks a massive bag of dicks right now.

Just hearing the words “tater tots” being used to describe in a nutshell the promo that was spoken by the person in the company right now who’s supposed to be “The Guy” according to the beyond out-of-touch Vince McMahon & Co. is just making everything even more embarrassing than it already is. Is it sad that the only thing people are really raving about from last Monday’s RAW was Sasha Banks twerking? And even that pisses me off cause they’re using her wrong too!

Is there anything on the show right now that they’re getting right? I’d say no, even including the New Day, who are starting to get a little over-exposed now. But they can’t figure out what to do with anyone not named Roman Reigns. Charlotte’s wavering between heel and face, Sasha Banks has been removed from the character that got her to where she is, as she’s now turning into the girl with the #booty. So many other guys and girls are either looking childish and poorly written, or they have nothing going on except for that they can wrestle a bit.

How is it that there are thousands of random fans and journalists/bloggers/podcasters¬†who are thinking up better angles and ideas than the supposed genius of wrestling booking, along with a giant team of supposed experienced writers?! How the fuck is that even possible?! The majority of fans can’t write better than people doing Netflix/HBO original programming, so why is it that they can write wrestling better than the BEST company that does it?! It makes zero sense!

There’s a lot of discussion going on the wonder if maybe, just maybe Vince McMahon being his usual stubborn self and having his¬†“I know what you really want” attitude running full-speed ahead is continuing on this downward spiral regardless of the ratings continue to drop, because he wants to prove his still knows what will work in the end. I’d hate to tell ya, Vinnie Mac, but when your ratings are lower than they’ve been in over 20 years, I don’t think it’s¬†a matter of pride anymore. Sooner or later, something’s gonna give and I don’t know whether that’s sponsors pulling out cause of low ratings, your stock price lowering cause of the poor attendance and merchandise sales, or anything else that could be caused by this rapid decline, but something will cause an absolute breakdown if this doesn’t stop.

We’re not asking you to cave to every demand we have, just two of them: One, start writing stories and characters that are consistent and make sense. And two, stop insulting our intelligence. Is it sad that promotions that are solely centered on comedy wrestling still have far better stories than WWE right now? Take CHIKARA for example, they have more meaningful storylines than WWE and they’re all about fan interaction.

Most of all though, what we really want to see, is meaningful women’s wrestling. Not Divas wrestling, women’s wrestling. NXT has that (except when Eva Marie wrestles, then it becomes a natural disaster) and what happened because of it? This so-called Divas Revolution you also fucked up on. Companies like STARDOM in Japan, Shine and Shimmer in the US, they get women’s wrestling. How does a small company get it right and the one with millions of dollars can’t even get them to have a match without screaming at each other and pulling hair? It’s pathetic.

So yeah, it’s depressing to hear about almost anything WWE-wise. And like I said in my NXT article, I don’t want anyone moving up to the main roster now. Cause until Vince and his regime are gone, I don’t want them fucking my favourite wrestlers up.