This is more a parody and a quick joke of an article, but seriously a summer-themed Overwatch round of skins and the best they could come up with was a meh at best Widowmaker and a lifeguard McCree?! Okay fine, I’ll admit that skin’s pretty sweet (here), but still! No Tracer, D’va, hell where’s Winston in his ridiculous summer get-up?!
At the end of the day, go all the way or go home and it appears that not every character got a skin, which I think is dumb. So for shits and giggles (and because I love swimsuit DLC for every character, not just the girls!!!), let’s go through all the amazing fan art we’ve seen made of the various characters and pick the best summer-themed skin for each character!
Ready, let’s go!
CHARACTERS I COULDN’T FIND ANYTHING (FOR OBVIOUS REASONS): BASTION, ORISA, TORBJORN (I really tried, couldn’t find any art with a bearded dwarf!), WINSTON (without having actual legitimate drawing skills, I can’t make that one happen…), ZENYATTA
So there you have it, my totally 100% real and absolutely serious ideas for what Overwatch should’ve done for this year’s summer-themed skins and such.
Okay in all seriousness, it’s always cool when Blizzard pops out new skins, but I was hoping for a little more, especially when Widowmaker’s skin showed up in my feed. We need to stop getting all offended at swimwear like it actually matters in the context of the game. Even the most serious people take off their normal clothes and suit up in swim trunks and bikinis once in a while, folks! So why not the Overwatch cast?
Seriously though, that Pharah/Mercy picture. Hot damn!
I’ve been playing a ton of Overwatch in the last month, finally really sinking my teeth into the game. So after a while, I felt like I was missing out on such an easy Top 10 and now with all the 2016 and 2017 Top 10s out of the way, it’s finally time to get this particular list out and into the open.
So for all the Overwatch lovers out there, it’s time…it’s finally time! Time for the Top 10 Sexiest Overwatch Girls!
Oh! And because it’s Overwatch and I continue to love poking fun at the whole Tracer butt controversy, this is also the Top 10 Sexiest Overwatch Girls: Butt Edition!
It’s interesting because in the picture that I’m using for all the girls, Zarya for me is actually bearable, at least from behind. I mean, I want to tell you that all the Overwatch girls are beautiful in their own way, but I’m not going to lie when it comes to my personal preferences. At least in terms of official artwork and the various costumes for Zarya in the game, I cannot get past the super muscular appearance of her. She’s just not for me, so while for some folks she might actually be higher on the list, she only cracks the top 10 because there isn’t a 10th female playable hero yet.
No Sombra butt here, that butt appears to be quite elusive, must come with the gimmick. I will admit though, out of all the other girls who I would consider pretty (since Zarya just doesn’t work with me), Sombra’s the one that gets the smallest reaction from me. I guess a lot of it has to do with her style, I really don’t like her hair for starters and her outfits just never convey that either she’s sexy or beautiful. It probably also has a lot to do with the lack of good fan art of her as well, that might be a major part as well.
Now before you ask, no of course I’m not referring to the 60 year-old Ana in her default form. Because the game does give us a look at a much younger Ana through the “Captain Amari” and “Horus” skins, there is a lot more to enjoy. It actually makes me wonder if the people who created Ana believed she would be able to get by just being an old woman and having no younger form, but decided to give her this younger skin. After all, it appears that an old woman in a game is still a rarity and game developers have trouble inserting them into major roles. Oddly enough as well, in this picture it is actually 60 year-old Ana in there, but with that butt rivaling the other girls, I think the artist drew Captain Amari with default Ana head on the shoulders.
Originally in my head, I wondered if Symmetra being Indian had anything to do with her being this low on the list, as it’s not like she’s young and her default skins do give you a little butt, which is lovely. I think it’s more a case of her being designed a lot more with elegance, so I don’t find her as sexy as other girls on this list, but I also think a lack of good fan art plays a part in this as well. Also again with the elegance thing, her face doesn’t exactly draw me in either, the optical piece on her head doesn’t help that. But I will admit, she may just have the best butt in this entire picture.
It might be just a little weird that of all people to be taking a grab at Pharah’s ass in this picture, it’s Ana (y’know…her mother!), but I suppose we’d all love to take a quick grab as well. Pharah for me is like a hidden gem of all the girls, I think underneath all that armor, she’s rocking a killer body, including some nice abs, which I’m a sucker for. I suppose in theory, I’m putting Pharah higher than Ana and Symmetra who we at least have an idea of how they look body-wise, but I’m more than willing to assume she’s more than what her armor shows.
For some, having Mei so high on the list may be a surprise. This is completely, 100% having to do with the fan art out there really accentuating Mei when the game really doesn’t at all. For me, I don’t look at Mei and think she’s remotely as overweight as a lot of people seem to envision her as. I’m aware that she’s certainly not as thin as the majority of girls in the game are, but what Mei offers that they all really don’t is a sense of realism and a charm about her that goes beyond that of having a thin figure and a really nice butt, though I think Mei’s got just as good a butt as the rest of them.
It’s funny, cause even though I’ve placed her at #4, if there’s any female character I don’t pay too much attention to, it’s Mercy, despite how absolutely stunning she is. She’s certainly got the body, the “Witch” skin really pointing that out for sure, I think what’s holding her back for me personally is how she just comes off like that classic blonde bombshell, which to me is so overdone. She’s one of the hottest girls in the series for sure, but she doesn’t jump out at you like the girls who made the top 3 do.
I mean, it’s really unfair when you walk around in a skintight suit the entire time, have a smaller frame and yet still have quite the perfect bust size as well. D’va has the advantage of being super cute and yet having a very sexy look as well. The fan art only accentuates this even further, though I will admit I don’t understand why the majority of art of her keeps parts of her suit on, as if the suit is made to just take off parts of it specifically to expose her breasts and genitalia. Just take the whole thing off, damn it!
Hm…skintight suit, thin frame, perfect bust. Yeah, Widowmaker is pretty much D’va with unique skin tones, which is really what puts her above D’va, that uniqueness. Also she shows off the cleavage quite a bit, so perhaps she’s cheating just a little bit. Widowmaker is arguably the sex symbol of Overwatch, very much designed to be the girl with all the looks, not only the cleavage, but clearly shows off her butt the most. And come on, she’s French, everyone knows how sexy the French accent is!
But in the end, despite how some may feel about her, I can’t not give the #1 spot to the Overwatch girl who I definitely pay the most attention to because of her looks. It doesn’t even have much to do with the butt controversy, Tracer to me is just super pretty and happens to have a really nice butt. And like other girls on the list, the massive amounts of fan art have only thrusted Tracer further and further ahead of everyone else. Not even being outed now as being a lesbian can keep this British beauty out of the #1 spot.
Thanks for checking out this week’s Top 10, I know it was a little cheesy, but once in a while I like to have a little more fun with these and not be so serious. I had to counter the last few weeks of more “normal” top 10s with something crazy y’know?
And for those curious about the picture I took all the girls from, here’s the full picture, you can click it to get the full-size:
So in a recently release comic for Overwatch entitled “Reflections“, Blizzard revealed to us that the cast of colourful and lively characters in the Overwatch universe has a character that prefers those of the same sex. While rushing to try and get a Christmas present for someone, she’s gifted with a present that ends up being the green scarf she was looking to get for this person in question. This person is a red-haired girl she appears to live with, named Emily. And upon discovering the present (which Tracer didn’t know what it was), she opens it up and finds the green scarf that Tracer was trying to buy for her. So in thanks, she leans over and plants a very tender, loving kiss on the lips of the tight-pants wearing energetic girl we’ve been loving for so long.
For many, it doesn’t really come as too much of a shock. Very early on in the game’s life cycle, fans felt they had evidence of some sort of relationship between Tracer and Widowmaker. The majority of Tracer fan art pairs her up with Widowmaker, they could’ve done this with anyone else, but they’ve specifically paired her with Widowmaker for a reason, they felt they had enough to make the call that those two are totally interested in each other. Thus the fan art of Tracer lovingly enjoying every inch of Widowmaker butt began to flood the internet.
It’s kind of funny that after the whole Tracer butt pose debacle, that the flood of art and animations with Tracer being the biggest connoisseur of the sexy Overwatch ladies and their butts came in full speed ahead and actually ended up being more accurate than just an act of defiance to the feminist bullshit that enveloped the entire “incident”. The moment that feminist and SJWs lost their collective shit on a simple pose that showed off a girl’s butt because that’s what happens when you wear tight pants, the internet countered with a vengeance, drawing and animating piece after piece of Tracer art where instead of showing off her own butt (though some pictures did that too), she’s having a ball having her hands all over other Overwatch girls’ butts. And now through this comic, we’ve discovered that Tracer actually does love having her hands all over some good girl butt.
Now just because the comic has Tracer for sure penciled in as a girl who loves some female company, it’s not 100% certain that Tracer is strictly gay, but because Blizzard has been teasing the reveal of a canonically gay character in the Overwatch series for months, it’s probably 99.9% certain to say that Tracer is that character. It obviously won’t stop the internet from wanting to draw Soldier 76 or someone else fucking her brains out, but then again there’s been more of a fascination giving Widowmaker a giant dick and doing the job instead, so I guess the groundwork’s already been done.
Now how do I feel personally about Tracer being “taken off the market” and deciding that her preference is that of a female persuasion? I think it’s fantastic that Overwatch has a gay character and yet she’s not being marketed as openly gay to the point that it’s blatantly obvious. Think about it, the game has been out (counting early access) for I believe two years now, how many times have you played the game and thought “Tracer is super gay.”? Blizzard has taken the time to have a gay character in their game, without making it blatantly obvious, without having Tracer essentially openly advertise that she likes grabbing girl butt. A lot of gay characters in various forms of media are written to look so obviously gay that it’s impossible for you to figure it out. In Tracer’s case, she’s a normal gay young woman. Why? Because you wouldn’t look at her and immediately think “Oh yeah, she likes pussy.” or anything like that. She looks like a young woman, that’s it. She doesn’t look like she prefers anyone in particular, the only way you’ll know for sure is if she starts making out with Emily in public, otherwise she’s a normal young woman.
So congratulations Blizzard for doing a damn good job at smoothly having a gay character into your series. You didn’t bludgeon us over the head with it, you aren’t making a huge fuss about it, you just did it and let the fans take it and enjoy it. I hope that others look at this for reference and use it in their own projects when a gay character is to become a thing. Because being gay is normal.
Seriously though, if you thought the Tracer yuri fan art was prevalent now…
If you’re a gamer, you’ve surely heard of Overwatch at this point. And if you know anything about Overwatch, you know that not only has the internet community taken hold of this game, but it might just be THE game that artists have ran with the most. And while it hasn’t been solely on one gender, as there is quite a lot of art with all the male characters, including yaoi art because again, it’s the internet, the focus on this post is going to be geared towards the currently ten female characters the game has players choosing from.
Now this choice has nothing to do with the 100% true fact that I am a heterosexual male and I’m attracted to each and every single one of these female characters to varying degrees. As much as I’d love to spend 1,000 words gushing about how unbelievably perfect every one of these girls are (and I might still do it anyways in this article), the primary reason for this focus is simply because that when it comes to this game and the various pieces of art, animations and much more that have spawned from it, let’s be honest, any controversy that has come from this game is squarely on the shoulders of the women in the game.
I can semi-understand how the average person can look at this game and think that there is quite the sexual connotation being applied to all the women in this game. I mean, I’ll say it straight up, there isn’t a single female character in this game that I totally wouldn’t have sex with, so in the back of my mind, I understand why some people could think that the game is maybe leaning a bit too far down the sexy path with these girls. I mean take a look at the four girls in the picture at the start of the article (because you don’t exactly get a good look at Sombra in this picture), you’ve got Widowmaker, Mercy, Symmetra and D’va. They’re all goddesses, they’re thin women with essentially perfect bodies. Despite having their own gimmicks, Mercy being more beautiful, Symmetra being more elegant, D’va being more cute and adorable and then of course, Widowmaker is specifically designed to be drop dead sexy. At first glance, it really does feel like the characters are designed to just be beautiful women.
Then this half of the picture comes up and it’s such a perfect pairing of four women here. Let’s start with Mei, shall we? Now from some early concept art, it appears that while she’s not fat by how we traditionally view fat as being in society, she does have some weight to her. Not only that, but the internet has really adopted her as a character who can show that you don’t have to be thin as a stick to look beautiful, she’s essentially become the video game equivalent of a plus-sized model. What has been a major complaint from feminists? Every girl is designed to be a skinny supermodel with large breasts. While again, from the early concept art she looks to have the large bust, she’s certainly not the archetypal supermodel.
Then there’s Pharah, who while is very much designed with the body type of a usual female video game character that would piss off feminists, there are two major things about her that deflect a large amount of the complaints. For one, she’s Egyptian, a nationality that I cannot think of a single character being from aside from games that actually take place in Egypt. How often does anyone from an African country appear in a game without being super black and usually a villain? Instead, Pharah’s tanned and very much a hero. The second part is the more obvious fact that she at no point can be seen in a compromising way, since her battle attire is power armor, similar in style to Samus Aran from the Metroid series. So you’ve got a very rare nationality appointed to this character and she’s also wearing armor that in no way shows how large her breasts are and how nice her butt is.
After that, there’s Ana who guess what? She’s also Egyptian AND she’s Pharah’s mother! She’s 60 years old in the game! Anita Sarkeesian in her many videos has talked about the lack of older female characters in video games, here’s a big one right now! 60 years old! Granted, there’s the skin you can get through loot boxes that has her playing in her younger form, since she was an original member of Overwatch, but her default form is the 60 year-old badass sniper with long white hair and an eyepatch. Far from being a female character designed by misogynists and sexists, wouldn’t you agree?
And lastly, there’s of course Zarya. Now granted, I think it was a little too cliche to make the bodybuilder girl Russian, but hey you gotta make a mistake somewhere, no one’s perfect. But how often do we ever see a girl of her body type in anything, let alone a video game? There’s the muscle girls like Atsuko in the currently simulcasted anime Keijo!!!!!!!!, which I’ve also been fighting for, but honestly the bodybuilder body type is not a common sight in any form of fictional media. Now does it have anything to do with sexist designers not including this body type? I don’t think so, in fact I think it just honestly has to do with how rare it is to see girls of that stature. There are tons of girls who have a very fit body, abs and all, but as muscular as Zarya is, that’s still a rarity. In fact I’ve never seen a girl remotely near the level of Zarya in my 28 years of life thus far. But again, Blizzard went out of their way to include as many girls of different types and backgrounds as possible.
So once again, that half of the picture alone, you have an arguably chubby girl, two Egyptian women, one who’s 60 years old and an extremely muscular girl. You can try to complain about the Widowmakers and the Mercys, but there’s clearly been a lot of work done to be inclusive instead of just being a game full of hot women, a la the Dead or Alive series.
And then there’s Tracer. If you’ve paid any sort of attention to Overwatch, you know how “controversial” she’s been, with her “sexist” over-the-shoulder pose and the sheer madness that came out of that entire situation. I covered this issue when it happened on the site (you can check the brief post here) and my position still doesn’t change. People way overreacted to the pose and the pose it was replaced with wasn’t any better, people just wanted to think they changed something. Hell, all the poses are about the same. Why? BECAUSE SHE WEARS TIGHT PANTS! Which to all the girls out there, I’ll let you in on a little secret: When girls have more developed butts than men and they wear tight pants, their butts are much more defined than when wearing something like baggy pants instead.
I loved it when people said the pose “wasn’t representative of her personality”. How the fuck would you know what her personality is?! Did you design Tracer? Actually better yet, do you know Tracer personally? No one does, so who are you to decide how she would act? She is whoever she wants to be, an outside viewer shouldn’t have any control over that. But the best part to me is that after the pose was switched (and still showed off her butt), all the Tracer poses show off her butt anyway, including the one where she’s sitting! Tight pants do that, folks!
So as we reach the end of this article, what I’ve really just been wanting to say this whole time is that I love all the characters in Overwatch. Not just the girls, but the guys as well, every character is so unique and lovable in their own way. But in the case of the girls, yes the vast majority of them are drop dead gorgeous, but at the end of the day this is fictional media which lives in fantasy and in case you folks have forgotten, when it comes to women, the average person attracted to them prefer thinner, healthier girls. But Overwatch goes above and beyond that and includes women of different sizes, colours and nationalities. And if you still have a problem with the game after all this, then clearly you’re not the target audience, because clearly you don’t actually care about the content, you only care about your own voice and just want everyone to cave to every single demand you have.
The game is incredible and its female cast are even more incredible.
…OH! And because I’m sure someone’s wondering, I love the game thus far! As of posting this, I’m only level 10 on my PS4, my main heroes have been Lucio as a healer and then Reinhardt, Widowmaker and Junkrat when I’m not.
I haven’t played a second of Overwatch yet, I just want to make this clear. I’m going based on what I’ve read about her and the entire situation. Hence why this’ll be a quick one.
Basically what I understand is that Tracer is a young, spunky girl who wears tight pants. People initially were hesitant with the choice of outfit for her and then when the pose pictured above starting floating around, a user on the game’s forums made a post about their displeasure with the pose while actually giving some fair points about her character and other female characters being more sexual than Tracer was. I get it, you don’t like the fact that this character is posed a bit sexually because you view the character as one who isn’t meant to be that sexually designed.
Here’s where I have a problem with that: Who are you to decide that? That’s up to people who designed this fictional character. Now the developers have also come out and said they had a second pose as a backup as they weren’t big fans of the “butt pose” themselves, which honestly I call bullshit on that. If you had a backup pose because you weren’t too thrilled about the first one, why didn’t you start with the backup pose? I think someone above them caved in and told them to make the switch and lie about the second pose, honestly. That’s my opinion, I’m probably wrong, but that’s my current feelings on this.
And to sound like a broken record, the character isn’t real, why is this that big a deal? And once again, I’m sorry to spoil this for all you SJWs and feminists out there, but…girls have butts. That pose Tracer is in is a very basic badass pose, but because she’s wearing tighter pants (which I’d like to think she chooses to wear because it gives her freedom of mobility) and again because girls have much more defined butts than men, it’s a bit more exposed and defined in such a pose. This isn’t an uncommon pose, you’re just getting all triggered because a girl’s buttcrack is showing. Grow the fuck up.
I’d like to think this is a nothing story, but for me it’s another case where I think people are trying to shove their own views and opinions on others. I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but if you truly want this kind of content to stop, don’t partake in it. Don’t buy or play these games. If the sales reflect that sexual content doesn’t sell as much anymore, companies will tone it down. Games like DOA Xtreme 3 exist because there is a market for it. I’m sorry but if you want your pro-feminist games to be major releases, you have to buy them and developers have to make them less boring and shit. That’s how real change is going to happen, not some jackoff bitching on a forum page.
And seriously, Blizzard: Grow a fucking pair, will ya?