Tag Archives: Video Game Girls

Character Spotlight: Rikku


Welcome to the weekly Fantasy Girls article, where I go back into the hundreds upon hundreds of games, anime and any other kind of fictional media and pull out some of my favourite female characters, who are beautiful in both body and mind.

This week we’re starting off with my original fictional crush, Rikku from Final Fantasy X/X-2.

There’s so many ways I could start this article off, but in the spirit of things, I figured I’d speak a little Al Bhed for this cutie.

Rikku ec uha uv so sucd vyjuineda vasyma lrynyldanc uv ymm desa. Cra’c uha uv dra lidacd kenmc E lyh drehg uv, ran bancuhymedo ec ypcumidamo luhdykeuic, oui lyhhud ramb pid csema ynuiht ran yht frah ran juela yldun ec dra makahtyno Tara Strong, oui geht uv ymcu kad y meddma ped uv yh ihvyen ytjyhdyka ykyehcd ajanouha amca. – Rikku is one of my most favourite female characters of all time. She’s one of the cutest girls I can think of, her personality is absolutely contagious, you cannot help but smile around her and when her voice actor is the legendary Tara Strong, you kind of also get a little bit of an unfair advantage against everyone else.

It was almost perfect timing when it came to Rikku and her character. FFX was released in North America in December 2001, though because I was little behind the times (was still playing N64, though who’d complain with Perfect Dark, Goldeneye, Super Smash Bros, etc.), so I didn’t end up getting a PlayStation 2 and playing Final Fantasy X for another few years. I was 15 when I first played the game, which is ridiculously coincidental when my first video game crush just happens to be 15 as well.

Rikku in her Al Bhed outfit

She already had my attention right from the start. The first time Tidus came across her after she and the Al Bhed came storming into those ruins, I was glued to her. Admittedly that’s because since the graphics weren’t the great (while phenomenal for the time), it really did look like the tan-coloured parts of her suit were actually skin. So yes, it looked like the only thing covering her genitalia was a single strap (which even knowing now it wasn’t skin, it looks kinda painful) and that the game was giving me constant bare ass shots. But after the initial boss battle with her in my party, the first real conversations with her were very meaningful. I mean think about it, you’ve fallen into this random world you don’t recognize (for the time being) and after nearly dying, the first group of human beings you come across are very aggressive and seem scary as fuck. But at its bleakest, the goggles come off and those pretty eyes of hers make their first appearance. Her voice is so soothing as well, you really calm down afterwards and then like I said earlier, you can’t help but smile around her.

Which makes it really saddening when you lose her for an extended period of time after falling into a whirlpool or whatever plot device separates the two of you and brings you to Besaid Island.

Full truth, I spent the entirety of the downtime between Besaid and the Moonflow wondering when I’d see Rikku again. I was 99.9% sure I’d see her again, but there’s always that doubt when sometimes there are just throw away characters at the start of a story. I did not like Lulu at all, I’m not crazy into large breasts, also being 15 at the time didn’t help when Lulu’s 22 at the time. Though even now being 27, I’m still not a fan of her. The same went for Yuna, she was pretty don’t get me wrong, but I hated her personality, she seemed boring to me. Which is why I far prefer her FFX-2 version above the original. But the entire journey leading up to the shoopuf, no other female character could divert my attention, not Lulu’s massive amount of cleavage, not Yuna’s sideboob, not Dona’s thong-covered ass, not Lucil, not Elma, not any female character of any real significance. Of course the brief moment you thought you might come across her in Luca only added onto it.

Mercilessly after going to hell and back, losing a ton of people in the battle against Sin at Mushroom Rock Road (including either Luzzu or Gatta), you finally reach the Moonflow and you see a Shoopuf for the first time (I still can’t say it without the driver’s accent “Riiiiide ze shoopuf?”). Then begins a crazy underwater boss battle with a giant mech. After defeating it, you reach the end of the crossing and start walking again. Then you see a familiar figure lying on the ground. And thus began the FMV that will probably never leave the depths of my memories.

Rikku undressing into her normal clothes - Moonflow
Rikku undressing into her normal clothes @ Moonflow

It easy to call this memorable for a ton of reasons, but the most obvious one is it’s the earliest bit of fan service material that I can recall where the graphics were good enough as well. Looking back now, holy shit was this tame compared to what we get now, hell even in the rest of the game itself. Lulu’s breasts nearly pop out every victory pose she does, Dona forgot to finish the back part of her pants to hide the thong she’s wearing, there’s so much more sexual material in the game yet Rikku’s undressing FMV is the most obvious piece of fan service in the game, regardless of the levels.

Now with Rikku back in your party, she was a mainstay, regardless of the fact there were just better choices. Lulu’s black magic, Yuna’s summons, Wakka’s status effects, there were better options. But my beginning 3 was always Tidus, Auron, Rikku. If I needed anything else, I’d switch out Rikku then, but only then. The pure enjoyment of moving her to Auron’s sphere grid in the second half of the game and turning her into an alchemic juggernaut was so great. Not as hilarious as a moogle doll doing 9999 damage, but still!

Rikku & Tidus, alternate scene - Macalania
Rikku & Tidus, alternate scene – Macalania

The times I wanted to give this lovely young lady a giant hug fell after you left Guadosalam for the temple in Macalania. You reach the Thunder Plains, still one of the coolest areas in any game I’ve ever seen. And it’s when you arrive there that you realized that Rikku absolutely hates thunder and lightning, she essentially has astraphobia. She cowers immediately, to the point Auron pretty much starts treating her like a child the rest of the way through the plains. She reveals that as a child her brother tried to save her when she was being attacked by a fiend…”But he missed and hit me instead! It was a Thunder spell – ‘Bzzzzzzt!’ I’ve been scared of lightning ever since.” as Rikku would tell the story. If I remember correctly, the next time she gets hit by a Thunder spell she freaks out, but I may be mixing it up with something else. You felt so bad for her as she slowly dragged herself forward after being nearly left behind. The way she walked and cowered was so cartoonish, it was perfectly done.

The second time was an alternate scene that you actually had to do a little bit of work for. You had to talk to Rikku whenever you could and use potions on her and such during battles to increase her affection. Which you’d have to go out of your way to do unless you simply never acknowledged Lulu’s existence the entire game. Everyone already started with a ton of affection points and the gap between getting Rikku back in your party and the point in the game where this scene comes into play is VERY short. So I ended up grinding a lot more at the Moonflow beforehand to try and turn the tides. It’s definitely worth it, the time you spend with her is very meaningful. Before even reaching the Macalania scene, you can talk to Rikku about Yuna’s potential marriage to Maester Seymour and instead talk to her about marrying her instead of even thinking about Yuna. To which at that point Rikku utters the Al Bhed phrase that Tidus x Rikku fans use as their banner, “Syopa Cusatyo”, which translates to “Maybe Someday”. But the scene in Macalania, while not as adorable is just as nice. While it was mostly Rikku being depressed after dealing with Wakka’s discovery of her being Al Bhed and talking about saving Yuna, the hug at the very end is very cute.

Once the game gets past the Tidus/Yuna kiss, Rikku sort of starts to fall into the background with the rest of the characters. There are moments and quotable lines here and there, but by this point in the game she’s just another party member. But since Yuna and Lulu are for the most part semi-forgettable to me, Rikku always remained a constant for me, at least in my party.

Rikku getting caught by guards – FFX-2 opening sequence

I was waiting for what felt like an eternity for Final Fantasy X-2. I even bought Unlimited SaGa just to see the debut trailer for it (the game was all right). I wasn’t sure how I felt about Rikku’s new look right off the bat, I knew Yuna looked a hell of a lot better (not even counting the hot pants, but Paine was a giant ‘meh’ for me. When the game arrived,  was happy to see at least in terms of her personality, Rikku hadn’t changed a bit. The real difference was in her outfit.

Even to this day I’m not a huge fan of the bikini set with a miniskirt. I’ve gotten past the hairstyle, but the clothes just don’t do it for me. Does she look hot as hell, you bet she does! But I didn’t like that to be her primary figure, I adored the cute Rikku from the first game, I felt like in FFX-2 they had slut-ed her up a little bit.

(left to right) Yuna, Rikku, Paine - Hot springs scene @ Mt. Gagazet
(left to right) Yuna, Rikku, Paine – Hot springs scene @ Mt. Gagazet

The secret hot springs scene really did it for me not liking her FFX-2 character. After scaring off Leblanc’s guards, the three of them decide to stop for a while to take “a little dip” in the hot springs themselves. Because y’know they just happened to pack their swimsuits with them for some reason, they do make it seem like a sporadic moment, no one on the ship knew what they were doing until they mentioned it. And another thing, Rikku’s already wearing a bikini! What was the point of completely changing into what looks like a really weird looking one-piece (all of their swimwear is a little odd to me, apparently Spira has some really unique swimwear makers) when all she has to do is slide off her mini-skirt and the many accessories she’s wearing? And then to make matters worse, she spends the entire scene comparing breasts sizes to the other two because “Haha! She’s got the smallest ones! She’s sooo jealous!”. While it was just fan service, it’s one of those cases that at least to me I felt it hurt her character just a little bit.

I don’t recall a whole lot story-wise from FFX-2, most of it was forgettable, I really don’t treat it like a full-fledged Final Fantasy game, it was more like an homage to the first game for the fans. And it was a fun game, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not like I can recall scene after scene involving Rikku and key dialogue that isn’t that hot springs scene.

Rikku is without a shadow of a doubt in my top 10 of not just video game girls, but fictional girls of all-time. She has everything I look for in a girl. She’s pretty, not too too hot. She’s absolutely adorable, but not to the point of it being overwhelming. She’s one of the nicest girls around, even when things are at its worst. And come on, Tara Strong voices her, that’s automatically putting you high on the list! I can only hope that if holographic technology really evolves, I’ll somehow be able to talk to her.

Syopa cusatyo.

There’s Nothing Wrong With Fantasizing


Yesterday, I posted my first Top 10 on the blog page and it was quite the extreme and up-front topic. The topic: the Top 10 video game girls I’d sleep with (as seen here). Now I know almost no one is reading this page as of right now, but I imagine if I were to ever start attracting attention, that Top 10 (amongst others in the future) will probably have me criticized for being many things: a pervert, creepy, sexist, blah blah blah, you know the usual names thrown around.

So I think it’s time I cover my own ass before that ever starts happening.

I can remember for the longest time my folks being extremely weirded out by how into video games and anime I was. The look on my father’s face alone when my girlfriend for Christmas got me what would be my first figurine, a wonderful Yuffie Kisaragi from Final Fantasy VII. Needless to say, he was a bit miffed as to why I’d be happy to have a small statue of a fictional character on my display, especially it being a girl in short shorts. I was fighting that fight all the way until I moved out, I had to be aware of what I was watching when my folks were around, I kept my desktop wallpaper very clean, things like that. Now I’m happily sporting a current Hatsune Miku wallpaper and I’m in the double digits with figurines (not even counting the tiny ones). Hell, my current mouse pad features the girl who was in the #1 spot on the Top 10 that made me write this article, Yuna from Final Fantasy X-2.

Generally speaking, my friends think this stuff is cool, hilarious, hell I’ve even turned a few people onto those mouse pads. Believe me, they’re actually super comfortable! If there’s anyone I know who’s been in my house and thinks the stuff I own is disturbing and/or disgusting, they certainly don’t voice that, which is the right thing to do. It’s not their house and it’s not their money that got spent on these things, so quite frankly it’s none of their business.

But yet there are people out there who take just a peek at this stuff and immediately throw every insult and argument in the book at it and shame those who take part in it. So it’s time to dismantle a few of the more common things that are spoken on this subject.

“That culture is all for creepy single men who live in their parents’ basement!” – Well this is an easy one to dismantle. It wasn’t until I moved out that I started owning any of this material. I’ve been in an extremely happy relationship for over 8 years now with my lovely girlfriend, I can count on one hand how many serious arguments we’ve ever had. And most of all, I’d like to think I’m not that creepy. I don’t recall myself ever having excess “waifu” talks, I don’t have any shrines to certain girls and in real life, I certainly don’t go around doing the cliché things creepy guys do, like scooting close to young girls, stalking people, etc.

“Material like this is immoral!” – Is it really? Because if that’s the case, then there’s a lot of pictures out there, whether business or personal that fall into the same perceptions. Take the cover photo of this article, the 3 Street Fighter girls at the beach, for example. If stuff like this is immoral, shouldn’t pictures in real life that are similar be the same? I just typed in “3 girls on the beach” into Google Images and this was one of the first to come up. It’s pretty much the same thing, 3 girls enjoying themselves on the beach. There just happens to be one difference and that leads me to the next point.

“It’s worse because compared to real-life, women are even more over-sexualized!” – In a way, I can see their point. They’re not wrong in that there’s more sexualized artwork of a video game character compared to a real person. But there are a ton of reasons behind that. For one, the majority of this artwork is not even created by the property owners, so much of it is fan art. Minus the odd weird picture that gets drawn of say for example, Emma Watson as Hermoine (rule 34 is weird, man), the odds of sexy fan art being of a fictional character is just exponentially higher. Secondly and this is the most important one, it’s so much easier to have highly-sexual material of fictional characters than real people. I don’t think there are a lot of women out there willing to poses in hundreds if not thousands of pictures in scantily clad clothing for the price of pencils and paint. Juri from Street Fighter on the other hand isn’t real! She’s not going to complain about being in a skimpy bikini and presenting her perfectly drawn ass (because another thing about video game characters, they can be made to look perfect) to the viewers.

“Material like this de-values women!” – Artwork like the cover photo doesn’t de-value women, but writing and a failure to give her a proper character does. Even the most innocent, shy, perfect Christian girl has a swimsuit and the odds of it being a bikini are getting higher each year as you see less and less girls (even kids!) wearing one-piece swimwear. The same goes for underwear, don’t tell me that every girl in the real world doesn’t own at least one pair of relatively skimpy underwear. As most of all, do you also think the average girl when she gets out of the shower or is changing doesn’t pose in front of the mirror naked? The only difference once again, is that fictional characters don’t say no to posing in artwork, because they’re not real! When it comes to de-valuing women in video games, the body and attire does not define her, it’s how she acts. I will absolutely agree that a lot of developers and writers have done some piss-poor jobs writing good female characters. Too many of them are literal objects for the male leads to try and get into her pants. That absolutely does need to stop, or at the very least slow the fuck down.

Going back to the over-sexualisation topic as well, is it really fair to bash the girls with good characters solely because they’re drawn unrealistically? Big breasts, perfect ass, perfect body all around. Absolutely not! Let’s just focus on breasts right now. A lot of female characters get propped up for having oversized breasts with crazy jiggle physics (*cough cough* DOA…), but it’s unfair to slut shame them just because of their breast size. After all, there are many women in the real world who naturally have large breasts as well and they too often get slut shamed as well, solely because of that, not because of their personality, but just because they have big tits. And this is pretty much a female-only problem, you don’t hear guys gets shamed cause they have ripped abs or a big dick (granted, that’s because they aren’t as obvious). If a woman wants her body to look like that, that’s her prerogative, who are we to judge that? The same goes for video game characters, why should we judge her by her appearance? If she isn’t a total whore and pointless character, there’s no reason to get up in arms about her.

“It’s…it’s just weird how guys and girls fantasize about fictional characters!” – And this is where people are reaching. Is it really weird to fantasize about people who aren’t real? I personally believe it’s weirder to be in a conversation where a guy talks about the things he’d do to a person I know in real life, rather than a fictional character. Let’s turn this up all the way. If you had a sister (of age, let’s be real here) and your buddy talked about how much he’d want to bang her, would that not creep you out/piss you off? The same goes for a friend of yours, a co-worker, a classmate, wherever your line ends. Would it bother you just as much if that same guy talked about wanting to bang Lara Croft? I doubt it. The same goes for celebrities, you hear groups of guys all the time talking about wanting to bang Scarlett Johannson, Megan Fox, Sofia Vergara, etc. But that’s not weird because it’s unrealistic, those guys are never gonna even touch those women, let alone do ’em. So why’s it any different if it’s Sonya Blade or Tifa Lockhart? It’s 200% unrealistic because they don’t exist!

And that’s the important thing to remember in all of this, folks:


I see nothing wrong at all with the idea of fantasizing about fictional characters. So when I decided to make a top 10 about the video game girls I’d love to have in my bed, I had no problems writing it out and posting it. Because it doesn’t matter, they’re not real. It’s not like I gave a list of 10 girls on my Facebook friends list, all 10 girls were purely fictional. I also didn’t spend length talking about the things I’d do to them, I spend each paragraph on them talking about the things I liked about them and the reasons why they made the list. Nothing more.

You can’t stalk video game characters. Even if they’d say no, fanfiction can always change that.

In real life however, that’s a crime. And the average video game/anime enthusiast knows that difference.

Top 10 Female Video Game Characters I’d Sleep With

***If you have a problem with lists like these, they’re not real women. Spare me the sexism and over-sexualization speeches. Read this article I wrote too.***

To clarify on this list, the 10 female characters you will see on this list are NOT characters that I’d fall in love with, hang out with, have a relationship with, anything of the sort. This is the 10 girls in video games that I’d totally without regret have a rockin’ one-night stand with, nothing more. A Top 10 list of the characters I’d marry? Now that’s a list for another day!

Now I shouldn’t have to explain myself here, but just in case those reading this list feel like blowing a gasket at this list, here’s a heads up. Remember that this is my own personal list, so the girls who made this list are based on my own preferences for what I’m attracted to. Also a lot of the choices on this list are not strictly just for looks, some of them have some logical reasons behind them as well. For example, she may be a girl I would love nothing more than to have around every day, but because of certain reasons, maybe a one-time-only would be best for my own safety. So just keep this in mind, my list will easily be different than pretty much everyone else’s.

So let’s get right to it!


I’m starting off with an extremely random and very uncommon character. As far as I know, not a lot of people ended up playing RAGE. It’s not a great game by any means, I pretty much forget everything about this game, that is except for Loosum. She shows up early on in the game to teach you how to master the Wingsticks and the moment I laid my eyes on her, she was just absolutely perfect. At the time in 2011 when this game came out, it was showing off id Software’s new Tech 5 engine, so it was top of the line graphics being pumped out, so Loosum had a distinct advantage going in. Character-wise, there’s not a whole lot to say, since she’s around for all of five minutes of importance. She has some spunk to her and she certainly knows how to show herself off, she knows she’s gorgeous. Personally, I’d consider keeping her around, but the first name just breaks it for me. “So what’s your wife’s name?” “*sigh* Loosum…” Yeah…that ain’t gonna fly.


As a heads up, Cammy is pretty much the only character on this list that would be considered by the video gaming community as a sex symbol. Generally speaking, the video game vixens that are on the top of everyone’s list just don’t fit any other criteria from me other than having a great body. But Cammy is so damn smoking hot, that she manages to make the list anyways. Although she holds a special place in my heart because she pretty much is the first video game character I saw on screen that fit the bill of being that sexy girl in a video game. I played Super Street Fighter II for the SNES a ton as a kid and Cammy was my main character, admittedly her ass was half the reason I picked her all the time, I was actually pretty good with her too, so it just happened to work out perfectly. If there’s any video game girl that’s on the top of everyone else’s lists that I’d have to pick over all the others, she’s without a doubt the one for me to go with.


Another anomaly on this list, I would think. Very few people play the Guilty Gear games and that’s a damn shame. So this lovely tanned, light-haired expressionless evil non-human girl from the Backyard will likely be even less-known as she’s from the newest game, Guilty Gear Xrd. She falls into the category of girls in games that I’d love to spend the night with, but the likelyhood of dying trying to get to that point makes it pretty difficult. But from playing the story mode of GGXrd, I really fell in love with her character, her expressionless voice and demeanor makes her extremely adorable to me to the point I want to try and snap her out of it, she seems like the girl that would be just a giant cutie once she opens up. And to top it all off, I have a giant soft spot for anime-drawn tanned or darker skinned girls. I don’t know why, especially since it doesn’t translate into real life at all.


Malon’s simply a victim of living in a world I would just refuse to live in and I know I wouldn’t be able to pry her out of it. She’s probably the overall prettiest girl on this list and certainly the most homely. But if I were to consider her for my future Top 10 Video Game Girls I’d Marry list, I’d have to commit to living the farm life and there’s no goddamn way you’d catch me working my ass off on a farm, I wouldn’t survive. And judging her character, like I said there’s no way you’re prying this lovely redhead away from that life either. What a damn shame…


Lightning is the prime example of a girl you would never catch me dead spending any more time than I’d have to with her. She’s absolutely insufferable, a constant pain in the ass, I can’t listen to her speak for more than a few words before I want to punch her in the face. But goddamn did Square Enix draw her superbly. Of course only the idiots at Square Enix would create one of the most hateable female characters I’ve ever known, yet also make her arguably the hottest Final Fantasy girl of all (yes, that includes rivaling Tifa). I just hope that if I was to ever share a bed with her, I wouldn’t have to listen to hours of her brooding about her sister.


Persona 4 is pretty much my favourite game of all-time. There isn’t a single character in the series that I have a major problem with and when it comes to the many female characters in the game, the majority of them are in consideration for the Top 10 Marry list. But Rise is the odd one out. It’s funny, she’s clearly presented as the hottest girl in the game and she is without any doubt. However when it comes to her character, she just doesn’t grab my attention nearly enough compared to all the others to follow through on anything other than a single night. It could be the fact she’s overly flirty, the fact she’s an idol and would be constantly targeted by other guys, or just the fact she (depending on when I’d catch her) struggles to figure out who she really is, where the line between her normal self or the idol persona. Either way, I’d love to hang out with her, but certainly not in a dating manner.


We started the crazy and evil with Ramlethal at #8, now we resume that trend with likely the most dangerous lady on this list. I’m noting that I’d prefer the Mass Effect 3 version of Jack because I like her far more with hair and her new outfit. Jack was a tough one to place, there’s so many factors behind her being on this list. I love girls with tattoos, tomboys and some of the sexiest characters to me are the ones you know there’s no chance in hell you’d ever get with for any reason, but your physical well-being adds onto that with Jack. As we’ve seen in the Mass Effect series, she views sex as almost a common thing due to her screwed up life before meeting Shepard. But as quickly as she’ll bed you, she’s likely to tear you apart, literally. So for my own safety, as quick as she’d want to fuck, I’d just as quickly fuck off before I’d lose my life.


Now unlike Jack, she may not kill me, but the hundreds if not thousands of experiments she’d run on me if I ever happened to get close to her would be almost just as bad. But damn, talk about a 10/10, without a doubt the hottest Fire Emblem character. She also has a distinct advantage because anyone I’ve ever seen cosplay her has been just as gorgeous, she translates perfectly into real life as well. I’ve run through Awakening twice, the first time I made the boneheaded decision to have my character marry Lissa and immediately regretted it after getting to know Tharja a lot more. She gives off that forbidden fruit aura, the one girl you can’t resist, but you know that it would be in your best interests to not pursue her. But with that body, I wouldn’t blame anyone, male or female from going after her regardless.


The pinnacle of crazy, the girl that I know that I’d never be able to get close to. Jack would let you have a round and then you’re screwed. Tharja might let you in, but you’d be so messed up from all the experiments first, it might not even matter. But Tira, I don’t think there’s a chance in hell you’d be able to even touch her before she’d slice you apart with that ring blade. The first time I laid eyes on her in Soul Calibur III, that was it, I loved her. I was a huge Talim fan the previous game and I thought no one could top her, she was super pretty. But Tira just shot in with that amazing badass hair, the makeup, those piercing violet eyes and of course that phenomenal body. The artwork of her in the picture above is one of the best I’ve seen from any game, let alone fighting games. But behind that body is one of the most twisted, sadistic minds, one who would cut your throat within seconds of meeting you. Come to think of it, it would give her line “Awww you broke already? Oh well, I guess I’m done with you.” a new meaning. *shudders*

And finally, my #1 pick:


There’s a ton of reasons why Yuna’s at the top of this list. I’m sure most are surprised she’s not being considered on the Top 10 Marry list, most feel she’s very homely, a wonderful girl, beautiful as hell and all those are true. But there’s a bunch that put her on this side rather than the other. I wasn’t a huge fan of her FFX character, she was too softspoken and the whole super-religious thing immediately turned this atheist off, especially nowadays where it’s in full-swing. But the biggest problem with Yuna has nothing to do with her personally, it’s just a matter of being the odd one out. Logically if I lived in Spira, she simply wouldn’t be on my mind because of one thing:

This girl.


So because of Rikku, Yuna ends up being at the top of the list, just because I would absolutely love to spend the rest of my life with her if she existed, but there’s already a girl in the same universe I’d pick over her. Sorry, Yunie!

I hope you all enjoyed this list, it was fun to make. Remember it’s not serious at all, it’s all in good fun. Your list will be way different than mine for various reasons. And most of all, if you think this is creepy to post, for god’s sake they’re not real, it doesn’t matter.

And realistically, don’t tell me you don’t fantasize about sleeping with someone. I just happen to have zero problems saying it out loud.